.:bikes, beats & policy:.

Moved over to Tumblr for the most part

2011-06-19T17:53:00.003-04:00

I'm not sure if anyone really looks at this anymore since I haven't updated it in a couple of years but I have been photo blogging semi-regularly over on Tumblr. Keiko and I are planning to move to Phnom Penh Cambodia at the end of August (2011). I will be writing in popular fashion once we go but most likely on Tumblr (so much prettier and more simple to use).

http://corbeyluv.tumblr.com/

Also, my consolidated social media vanity page: http://flavors.me/corbettdc

Moving the Economist to Drupal

2009-12-09T11:32:00.003-05:00

Day 1 of Do It with Drupal Conference - #DIWD

I haven't blogged in ages but I figured this is a good enough way to get started - taking notes at a Drupal conference.

Panel: Rob Purdie (Economist); Moshe Weitzman (Cyrve)

RP: Moving the Economist incrementally and iteratively and working on improvements as they go. Currently these aspects are on Drupal: user comments and recs, user comment history is Drupal, articles and syncing all data to Drupal every 5 minutes. Article pages will be served in Drupal very soon.
Will be launching "channel" pages - currently there are "topic" pages that just list the articles incrementally, the channel pages will have the articles but will integrate additional content onto the pages.
"We benefit from Drupal sooner by taking this approach"
Vision: "Build the foremost destination online for analyzing and debating the global agenda, drawing on the intelligence of journalists, readers and guests."
Want to: increase publishing volume with user-generated content -- This makes me think of MercyCorps and what I call "Shortening the Content Supply Chain"
"Perfect is the enemy of better"

Selling Scrum/Agile Development
• Needed to sell scrum within the org
• Needed to sell scrum to management - emphasized that risk wold be decreased vs. a traditional management approach.
• "We chose comments/recommendations as the most important sub-system to deliver/iterate on first" - worked with the key people to determine what the most valuable areas were for the clients.
• Trained the Management and development teams in Scrum, then in Drupal.
• Developed a Sprint system - every two weeks set out specific deliverables with the intent to deliver (put live?)
Incremental Architecture
Integrating the thumbs up/down from the old platform
• Since comments have to be attached to nodes, they had to create the nodes on the fly for every request that comes up since the articles are not in the same system. Same thing is happening with the Voting API.
Migrating Content - better to strart doing this this sooner rather than faster. Cyrve's methodology for migrating legacy data:
2 Modules:
• Table Wizard - Looks at a mySQL table and will map out selected parts of the legacy node. You can make legacy columns in and also rename old terms. This allow you to map the old data to the new and keep them linked for reference.
• Migrate - build on the above and allows you to build views based on what is created in the tables.
? How many servers did it take for 20k page views a month? Maybe around 12 right now.

? SCRUM Process - How do you manage "emergency" scrum requests - Product Owner is the shield for the team. Requests go to that person and they approach the team and work together. They Split the site up into several product teams (articles, SN, etc.) - the Protected the teams.

Interesting Features
• Using "Pressflow" instead of Drupal 6
• Base theme is a 960 grid - allows you to place everything into a specific column - more uniform presentation.
• Continuous integration using "Hudson" -
• Apache SOLR hosted by Acquia - thousands of articles, current search not working well; emphasis on how fast it is to get quality search results (1 work day); can be self-hosted but there are benefits to the Acquia service.
? What Managing Tools are being used for SCRUM? You don't have to worry about resource management as much because the team approach is laid out that each member has 100% dedication to that project. Trying to move away from specialists toward 'generalized specialists' and to have everyone collectively own the product and so that you're not dependent on one or another person. Favor really low fi tools; influenced by: http://agilemanifesto.org/
• Use "Unfuddle" as a ticketing system, SCRUM "stories" are taken down into tasks
• Use Google docs a lot
• The "Focus should be people, not the tools"
Impediments
• Bad Practice: Command and Control - Telling people what to do and when by inhibits self-organizing teams.
• Black Box Development - One of the pillars is transparency; must be abel to adapt processes as you go. Don't let all the development happen in a black box.
• Development Silos - e.g. EX person only in one project, not integrating with others.
• Traditional Line Management - Building teams of peers, not traditional management structure.
Engineering Practices (specifically quality) - Ken Schwaber books talk about SCRUM - it is "a wrapper for your traditional practices" - SCRUM assumes that your engineering practices are great (or will be). Old habits die hard; they want to ship potentially implementable code with each iteration, in order to do this they have build an identical development environment with just fewer servers in order to ensure that new code will go through.

? Suggestions on working on live content; pre-readying content – MW: Actually, I usually practice on live servers and just be careful to keep it from the public.

On using Acquia SOLR – Self-host vs. not – if you can, it’s not a bad idea but you need to have a lot of mySQL and PHP skills and ability to maintain, Acquia takes care of this. Acquia’s facets are not available on the core search without additional modules. Apache SOLR is used for Netflix, CNET, etc.

With SCRUM, what you would ideally like is to have a product owner sitting in the room in all meetings, even sitting in the room. You are not allowed to change requirments mid-sprint. You have a “working agreements’ that lays out how you agree to work together. You can’t say yes to everything, the project will fail if you do.

SCRUM is not a prescription, you can pick and choose what parts you need. There are simple rooms, make rules; inspect your **, and **.

Pictures starting back up also

2008-01-27T21:02:00.000-05:00

I'll try to get some more up soon. I'm also trying to figure out how to incorporate this, looks good (bigger pictures and a few more bells and whistles) but can't get it to link with my photo page. They are the same pictures as the above link.

return from the dead

2008-01-27T11:26:00.001-05:00

Well, after almost a year of not posting I thought I would try to get back into the habit.

The short update is that I have been back in the US since late August '07 where I have started a Master's program at American University in Washington DC. I'm studying International Development where I'm hoping to gain the knowledge and skills to work in the development field overseas. The first semester was rough but I think I've finally gotten back into school mode. My first classes were both challenging and enjoyable even if I didn't quite get straight A's. I was about 1-2 points off in one class... : (

Keiko arrived at the beginning of November and has been doing her damnedest to stay busy and productive. All her visa stuff went through without a hitch but someone in immigration or the Social Security admin made a mistake and they didn't begin processing on her social security card/number when they were supposed to. This has led to us to still be waiting for her to get a social security card that enables her to work (even though the green card, which she has, actually entitles her to work legally, many employers won't accept it without the SS number).

We're living in a great old house in Columbia Heights about a 15 minute ride north of the National Mall. I can't say we're that impressed with the city itself but coming from Tokyo, I guess the only place that could compete over here would be New York. I don't mind though as I don't have much time nor money to do much more than study and the city is fantastically bike-able. Since you can't smoke anywhere in the country (I exaggerate) I don't really feel like going out very much. I mean, why drink if you can't smoke? I just don't see the point. Oh yeah, you can "network". The very sound of the word sends chills down my spine. I'll spend an entire post later on about this phenomena and its place in this city but not now. Oh, one last thing, this thing called winter blows.

There is too much to say about the past six months in a single post so I'm just going to leave it at this and try to catch things up as I get back in the habit of posting. If anyone out there still reads this, send me a shout and let me know if there are any aspects about being in school, back in America or DC you would like to hear about. I apologize to everyone for dropping off the face of the Earth recently but I've made a decision to try and correct my anti-social behavior. Don't be surprised if you start to get emails from the world's worst friend.

Oh, as I've left Japan for a while I thought it was appropriate to update the blog title. I'm still looking for a better name with an alliterative quality around these subjects: policy, bikes, bread, music.... So far this is the best I've come up with but I'm open to suggestions.

xoxo,

-c.

Married!!!

2007-03-23T09:48:00.000-04:00

Holy cow, I haven't put a post up since November. No doubt most people think this thing is dead. Well, it is time to resurrect (once again), this time with big news.

It's official: On March 20th, 2007 Jason Corbett Hix and Keiko Fujita were lawfully wed at the Shibuya ward office in Tokyo Japan. We didn't have a ceremony and there was no justice of the peace, white dress & tux or honeymoon, but we signed our names and are legally married. We don't even have our rings yet but they will be welded to our fingers in just a couple weeks. Over a celebratory drink we took the liberty of drawing rings on each others fingers.

Neither of us wanted a ceremony. We wanted the day to be for ourselves but I have to admit that I wish Japan had a justice of the peace to do vows. in lieu of this absence we might do something small on our first anniversary when we are back in the US. None the less, I'm terribly excited, even though I'm not used to the title, about being a husband. No babies for right now but we're both anxious to begin a family when the time is right. While I'm not sure when I will legally change my name, it will eventually be Fujita-Hix so update your address books and decide which of these names you want me filed under.

Keiko's family threw us a wedding dinner at a beautiful restaurant here in Tokyo and her father sang a song in Japanese about letting go of his daughter and welcomed "Texas" (as he has nicknamed me) into the family.

That's all for now, I have to finish getting dinner before my wife gets home!

transformation or just sheer dissatisfaction?

2006-11-08T19:22:00.000-05:00

Well, the results are final except for Virginia which hopefully promises to be less controversial than the last couple of recount fiascos. Yes, a signal was made that many Americans are at the least upset with the war and dissatisfied with Bush and furious about his handling of Iraq. But, is this represent unequivocal support for democrats and their "vision", me thinks no, at least not yet.

It was a nasty election cycle even for US politics and I'm happy to see that it is over. Now the challenge comes for Democrats to push for enlightened action and policy. There is quite a lot of fractioning inside the party and it is imperative that the Dems develop a cohesive strategy in the next year if this is going to carry through to '08. I hope they will play the role of the big man and not enact revenge on the Republicans as both parties have been guilty of in the past after a change in power. This does not mean that the Dems pledge for accountability should be forgotten or that some subpeonas and possibly indictments might be called, but let's not screw this up folks. You hold the reigns but don't ram the damn carriage into a wall in all your excitement.

Lets lay out firm goals for Iraq within a reasonable time, call it a timetable or whatever other synonym you want but lets let the people know what to expect from this mess and how we're going to address it. Lets get back to that fragile economy and honestly deal with increasing the minimum wage and meaningful job growth. Lets face those twin elephants in the room that everyone is ignoring and find a way to address medical care and education. Lets push through legislation that requires a real reduction on fossil fuel dependence. Taxes? So be it if their targeted correctly, how about wastefulness gas tax on all purchased vehicles that are in the lower 40% of fuel consumption. How about we put a 30% premium on them?

Will Lieberman consider coming back to the Democratic fold? I have to admit, I was pushing for Lamont but I'm willing to welcome him back with hands outstretched not only for that critical edge as the majority but also for his experience. He'll probably continue as an independent and I don't begrudge him that (feeling betrayed by his party) but if he wants to come back by all means let him.

Too much to write about and I need to get to work. Let's give it a few days to let the rhetoric and excitement settle and make sure the Dems get Virginia.

Sunday in Odaiba

2006-11-06T21:29:00.000-05:00

The weather was nice enough, Keiko was brave enough and so at about noonish with perhaps a little shortage of time enough, we mounted our steeds and headed to Odaiba, the man made islands in Tokyo Bay that seemed to be built to praise all that is kitsch and modern. Keiko got her bike a couple months ago and has been building her confidence slowly and this was our longest ride yet. In the beginning she was hesitant to ride on busy streets and insisted on obediently waiting at all red lights. She spent about a month commuting to work, took the bike out on her own to Kawasaki and other places and has since really become much more assertive on the bike. She's riding a little 650 Tokyobike city bike with 9 gears (?) and a frame small enough to meet her almost 5 foot stature. Me, I'm still on my 20+ year old Peugeot fixed-gear conversion until I find the money for a track frame. On the way back I rode mostly behind her just because it feels a little safer (somebody will hit me first) and she could set the pace. I was impressed at the speed she was making expecting it to be a bit more leisurely but instead I actually had to work.

Well, we made it Odaiba, or Daiba, a little before three in the afternoon and after passing "Tokyo Big Site", convention center and event space, we happened across "Tokyo Wedding Town" or something to that effect. From what was available to the general public this wedding theme park of sorts had all the shops you might need to plan your extravagant affair, dress shops, tuxedo rentals, cake shops, hair, nail, etc, all set among cobble stone streets meant to resemble the historic little European town of your choice. On the inside and away from pubic view, I gathered there to be western style (fake) chapels and little venues modeled after various countries for the after party. All this created to sweep you out of the neon and concrete of Tokyo into something that was decisively, not Japan. We felt like we had stumbled on a movie set but in reality it was probably more of a wedding-themed Disneyland.

From there we meandered around the island. There was an elevated monorail overhead taking people to the various attractions including a huge ferris wheel, an indoor amusement park and one of a couple huge shopping areas. The development evidently started in the mid-eighties with billions of dollars in investment as a coastal residential area. When the economy plunged in the early 90's the area was considered to be a failure but has since been going through a resurrection. In '96 it was rezoned to allow for commercial space and now is a mixture of modern high rise apartments, innovative office buildings and a shopping hub for those in search of glorified malls. The whole area seems a little unsure of itself. Between some of the impressive and massive architecture there are the remnants of Odaiba park that connect the various areas with grass uncharacteristically growing between the stones on the footpaths. A couple monuments seem thrown in with the idea that "we should have something that looks statuesque or monument-ish here". The bit of grass and trees the connects these huge areas struck me as out of place when the city that has eschewed green space sits in eye shot from any unobstructed view. The areas themselves don't compliment each other but feel as if they have been thrown together with pieces from various puzzles.

In typical Japanese style, we went down a bridge connecting the park to an adjacent mall and stumbled upon a small festival behind some foreign skateboarders practicing their skills. The dancers reminded me of what might happen if an American high school drill team with their pancake makeup got thrown into mixer with the day-glow infused traditional japanese wear and Slash from Guns'n'Roses. There were about 40 men and women doing their dances to an ear-splitting 80's style power ballad and taiko drums. We moved on quickly only to be greeted by a miniature Statue of Liberty at which point I conceded myself to having left reality as I know it. In the next hour we walked through a miniature, and surprisingly not cheesy, Hong Kong on three floors of a shopping area. We ate cantonese style chinese from conveyor belts and watched a trained monkey do his theater complete with roller skates, jumping five foot blocks (on roller skates no less), fainting in slow motion and blowing kisses to the audience.

Dusk approached, we had a long ride back and after a brief coffee stop in Ginza and with Keiko's suggestion we made record time home and watched the most recent episode of Battlestar Iraqtica, I mean Galactica. A nice day even if I didn't get any application work done. That is what today is for.

Bike clothes for the fashionably challenged.

Tottori Sand Dunes 10/08

2006-10-17T12:48:00.000-04:00

I know I haven't blogged in a while, sorry about that. Test didn't go so well so I was back at the books again. The math sorta kinda kicked my butt. That and nerves. Anyway, scheduled to take the test again this week, hopefully do better. So there is that and Keiko and I want on a 6 day trip to more southern parts of Japan. I hope to get some more pictures up and talk about the trip when I have time but for now these are a few from our first day in Tottori which is most famous for its sand dunes, yes, Japan has sand dunes!!

deserving approbation

2006-09-21T22:22:00.000-04:00

Every once in a while I hear about things that are truly innovative, bold and prodigious in their goals. These things get me all excited and reinvigorate my enthusiasm for human achievement waking the sometimes sleeping optimist inside me. This morning I found buried in a design article in the NYTimes, a reference to the OLPC, or One Laptap Per Child project initiated by Nicholas Negroponte and being led by MIT (with support from Google, Red Hat and others). The idea of OLPC is to produce a rugged, low-power, low-cost, rechargeable, wireless computer aimed as a teaching tool in poor or developing countries. The target price of the first model to be introduced next year is 100$. Yes, only 1/15th of the average priced laptop.

At first glimpse there are some curious omissions from the computer: no hard drive to accommodate bulky video and mp3 files, no glorious video chip to play all those impressive games. In exchange for these absences, the developer brings several enviable attributes that are far more useful for the intended market, students. The computer features integrated wireless networking, something that most of us now take for granted. Here the idea has been expanded and designed in a way to extend the range beyond most current computers. The focus of the networking has also changed. In remote areas, access to the internet for even one computer can be limited, irregular or simply not available at all. To counter this, the computers will be connected directly to one another instead of using the internet as its main thoroughfare. Its more similar to a game of "pass it on" but without the distortions and less time lag. Once one computer acquires information from the internet, CD/DVD, etc, it would then be passed onto other computers in range and connected to the network. What this could allow is one master computer to share necessary information with all the others in a classroom, outside under a tree or even from another students computer at home if a child couldn't go to school that day. And what would they be sharing? Well, that is almost limitless. Everything from arithmetic lessons and textbooks, ebooks for language class, news, just about everything you can imagine or create.

I know skeptics and classroom teachers will immediately think of the limitations of a computer screen, but with books being expensive (new books for every child for one year easily exceed 100$ and many places new books every 10 years is impossible to come by) imagine having thousands of texts suddenly available. Well, what about writing, specifically handwriting? Can your computer do handwriting recognition? While tablet style computer are on the market, most of us don't have them and we might argue that it isn't really important for most people. The OLPC computer has this necessary writing education feature which can be used with a stylus, a capped pen or possibly even a twig. The screen twists around, similar to some very expensive laptops on the market, so that you have access to the normal laptop form factor, keyboard below with the display up above, or as an ebook reader format. The screen twists around and falls back on the body allowing the user read it like a book.

The areas intended to use often have irregular electricity and sometimes none at all. How do you introduce one of the foremost symbols of the modern technological world? Incorporate human generated power. At this time they seem to still be in the finalization faze but it looks like the initial offering will have a hand crank on the side with a 1:10 charge to use ratio. Crank it for a minute, it will run for ten. Perhaps not perfect yet but if power is sometimes available it's probably enough to get the job done and a full charge is expected to last a full school day, better than most of our computers. But, that is not the finished concept. They are exploring more efficient ways to power the computer. One more thing about the crank, because it's aimed at children, the crank itself is durable and easy to turn, sort of a like a high tech jack in the box except the reward is a bit more fulfilling (if less surprising).

To further ease the power consumption issue, they have dramatically modified or eliminated many power-hungry parts of a traditional computer. On our laptops, the LCD or display, has a fluorescent light-bulb usually at the base behind the screen. While that technology is far more efficient and brighter than previous versions, it is still the most power hungry part of your laptop (or iPod, cell phone, PDA, etc.). This computer takes the display consideration a step further without sacrificing brightness or quality. Light will be supplied by ultra-low power LED lights behind the screen. Versions of this are popping up everywhere in new gadgets, my bicycle lights have them and they're extremely bright and the battery life is amazing. This computer will adapt to available light and evidently the backlight will shut down completely in bright weather and still be readable. Additionally, the processor will shut down entirely while not in use. This is perfect during long readings much like the engine shuts down on hybrid cars while idling at a stoplight.

We think, but yeah, I can't even keep coffee from causing laptop life and death scares and these are kids! Right? Well, they thought of that as well as the conditions that many of these children will be living in. While not waterproof, it is for most intensive purposes. There is a big sturdy handle built into the body of the laptop similar to the old original colored iBooks. The computer is meant to be carried like a bag and when shut, all the ports are covered and the computer is sealed by rubber to guard against rainstorms (not a drizzle but heavy rain) and dust. The keyboard has a solid rubber overcoat to seal off the internals in case of accidents. There are all sorts of more precise design aspects to add to durability but you get the idea. But, one addition they have thought of is that because these are kids not only is the keyboard a bit smaller, the keys are easier to press, perfect for small, less nimble fingers.

Built in Mic? Check. Speakers and headphones? Check. Built in video camera? Check. Windows or Mac OS X? Nope. The licensing fee would probably outweigh the total cost of the computer from the get go. Now I don't put it past the Bill Gates Foundation or even Steve Jobs at Apple to offer an operating system for next to nothing or even free for a project like this but why bother? It would require a lot of time, research and money to do so when there are similar open-source (everyone can write programs for them) operating system already available. Many of the more geekier-than-thou people already run linux on their system and this computer will use the same backbone. The benefit of this is that it will be much easier for governments or whoever to write specific software aimed at localized languages for the students. Furthermore, there are already comparable applications available to almost everything you might use on the Mac or Windows computer.

The benefits of this project could be limitless. Besides providing the tools for the fundamentals, what happens when previously unseen talents in the maths and sciences are discovered? Some of the students may lack running water, sanitation and even electricity but with open doors to education these issues could be mitigated in the future. Gifted students would no longer be limited by the available resources or specialties of their teachers. The math student who excels could sit in on calculus classes hundreds or thousands of miles away, even in a second language which they have been able to study through this technology.

So, that is the basics. I didn't really mean to write so much but projects like this just excite the hell out of me and make me feel a little better about humanity. The last project that got me going was when I learned about Wikipedia which I hope most of you (any of the 4 or 5 who still read this) are aware of. I have always have had an overabundance of faith in what the internet and technology could mean for education and alleviating the economic and knowledge iniquity in the world. It is projects precisely like this that reaffirm my hopes.

thoughts about permissiveness

2006-09-19T03:12:00.000-04:00

I'm giving myself 30 minutes on this, no more, needs to be concise. (Actually, I edited this 10/31)

Last year I was briefly in Bangkok Thailand before escaping to the beaches. Near my guesthouse was essentially a little Japan tourist town which seemed to be marketed predominately to men. Across from the hostel was a sketchy looking business where the door was sometimes left ajar. What had caught my attention was the occasional glimpses of numerous women in evening-gown style attire lined up on what looked like to be bleachers. Since I was pretty sure it wasn't some formal choir practice I asked the Australian owner of the hostel about it and he described it as sort of like an escort service. He said he thought it catered to Japanese businessmen as a a place where they choose there lady for the evening. Occasionally you would see women escorted into waiting cars or taxis outside. This was Thailand so what happened after you can only imagine.

It took a little while of living in Japan to see the correlation to those places in Thailand and how things work. One thing that caught me off guard here in Japan was what seemed to be very large pink-light districts. These usually consist of lots of love hotels which rent in three or six hours increments, your average adult novelty and video shops and large bland buildings housing various adult-oriented businesses including, but not limited to, massage parlors and hostess bars. These bars are advertised around most busy stations and at night there is usually a couple of men in suits who try to persuade businessmen into the establishment. I have talked to a lot of people about this and the general consensus is that there is no direct prostitution involved in these although some women may choose to develop relationships with the men. Instead it is a lot of over priced drinking and conversation with young ladies. But, this is also related to the business culture here in Japan. The socialization outside of work is a large part of building relationships with your colleagues and clients. So, this is all harmless on one level until one considers the exclusionary nature of meeting the place.

I know that women are free to patronize these bars as well, there is no sexism in that aspect. But, the larger question is how many women would want to? It has been emphasized by many people I have talked to (and exemplified by the tales of rarely present husbands and fathers) that these social meetings are critical in the business environment. When I discuss these places with working women, they often say they might go along to the dinner beforehand but understandably excuse themselves from the next locale. Although women have made some strides in the past couple decades, Japanese women continue to trail every other developed nation in terms of work place equality. I still hear stories of positions in the business culture reserved for men and office workers requesting tea and coffee from their female equals. But, I cannot hold all the blame on the men, although I do think their culture is sexist.

Historically, culture has dictated a rather passive role for women in Japan. Similar to America during WWII, women took over many industrial jobs for absent men but afterwards returned to the home in droves. During the economic recovery period women's roles were still far below men and there continues to be a sense of a women's place is largely in the home and if you haven't married by 30 you're a lost cause. I think the derogatory term is "Christmas Cake", meaning you can't sell christmas cake past christmas. I've heard that this is an older phrase and has gone out of use but while diminished, the comment is still a fairly common held belief. But, when I talk to wives I seldom here complaints about their husbands absence, women here often have vibrant social lives centered around their family and their own friends. When asked about what their husbands do, most say they choose not to think about it. Herein lies part of the problem.

I think women need to make the men uncomfortable. By not openly expressing disapproval they are, in essence, conceding permission silently. I say, go to the hostess bars with the men, be sure to ask about their families and next time there is a company affair be sure to complement the businessmen on how he dotes on his children when talking to the young hostess nearly the same age as his daughter. I say wives should ask about the details of their husband's outings, expressing enjoyment in knowing that they had a good time, wanting to know what they did. Ask for details and accountability, make them uncomfortable. When there are company business or recreation trips, women in the office should get together and stick together. Be sure to go along with the men in all their adventures, use your other female colleagues as support. Whatever you do, let them know that their actions will be seen and held accountable. Silently remind them that whether they like it or not, you are their equals and if they don't like your companionship they should rethink their venues and dated customs

To get back to Thailand, this is how I think it is all related. There is a permissiveness by the women and the culture in general to let "men be men, because that is their nature." Of course, anyone who has spend much time in Japan has probably noticed the absence of physical confrontation. Most Japanese men don't fight but many other cultures would argue physical violence to be in men's nature as well. Here violence goes against cemented modern day moresand is largely mitigated as a result. In contrast, what is seen is a selective permissiveness on some issues and strict rules binding other social mores. But here is what I think, by allowing men freedom to act like this, you do get more infidelity, you do get more adult oriented business, you do get more shallow relationships between husband and wives, you do get a big demand in SE Asia to cater to Japanese and other Asian men (the biggest market for the sex industry there) and you encourage the inequality of the sexes that exists here. Yes, the men need to change, but if there is no pressure put on them to do so and they see their fathers doing acting accordingly, they simply don't see anything to change. If no foul is called, players see no error in their actions.

Okay, I went over time about 4 minutes and didn't edit, at least it's written.

Recent absence and writing practice

2006-09-19T02:53:00.000-04:00

Yo, I know I haven't been keeping this up to date but I think only a couple of you still check this anyway. I didn't even write about my trip to Kyoto and Osaka (be the way pictures, are available here) but now I'm reaching crunch time on the GRE. Taking it next week and furthermore I have to start preparation for grad school applications. That is right, I'm saying it out loud, or not really but publicly, I'm intending on going to grad school back in the States next year. Look for me on a campus in your country once again. And a bit thanks to Steven and Jessica who are already turning out to be a huge source of information and advice.

Now, to get myself prepared from some of the writing I'm going to be doing for these applications, I might be posting up some thoughts I have on different issues and things going on in the world. These are largely for my practice but any comments and criticisms would be highly appreciated so please feel free to comment away or email.

NamaRocku is live

2006-07-24T01:36:00.000-04:00

The website isn't really done yet buy you can watch it here. It should show up in iTunes in the next couple days. Feedback is appreciated!!

www.namarocku.com

2006-07-21T00:44:00.000-04:00

Well, maybe not that blue but I got my notification and I did not pass the test. They don't send you scores just a thumbs up, thumbs down. I think there is a way of seeing how close, or how far I was from it in the future which I'll do. But, so it goes, que sera sera (or however that is spelled). I'll plan on taking it again next week.

In the mean time I working on finishing up all this podcast stuff which is taking me a bit longer than I initially planned. I can get around the editing software pretty well now but it's still a tedious process. The good news is that I now have a bit of a format in mind and some bits and pieces I can recycle, the next one should be a helluvalot easier. I'm working on getting the website up and going but had a bit of a snag because I used my J phone number when I was paying and that screwed up the domain purchase, silly little wabbit, I should have known better. Anyway, when I'm not working during my temporary 6 day workweek for the next month, I'll be working on getting this going full force as well as trying to set up the next one. I have a couple bands in mind which I need to contact and see if they have any live performances coming up.

But, for any of you have checked out what I have published so far please be honest, be brutally honest, and send me some feedback so I can make this better. Looking forward to hearing from you all. And if you're not sure where to go, click here.

^c.

finally fixed

2006-07-18T21:56:00.000-04:00

No, my computer is still not working but a few months ago with the help the help of a student friend here in Tokyo I got my bike working just about the way I wanted. I had originally wanted to build a fixed gear before I left Austin but with my looming departure and two bikes that at the time I didn't have a home for, I put the idea on hold. Fast forward two and a half years later and there you have it. Both bikes, the Haro 24 BMX and the old hand-me-down 20 year old Peugeot, are outside my door here in Tokyo. The latter is now a fixed gear conversion.

I've been riding it around here in Tokyo for a while now but this past Sunday was definitely a highlight. There had been a couple of Alleycat (bike messenger oriented city races, half scavenger hunt, half race) but I usually had to work. Well, me and the group of people I met there, three foreigners and two Japanese, didn't even finish half the race but had a great time meeting people and riding nonetheless. The even was called Mixpressions and consisted of a skidding, trackstand and backwards circle competitions in addition to the race itself. I'm still learning to trackstand, can't go backwards except by accident and can't really skid at all but it was a blast to watch. Furthermore the even ended in a Barbecue and more than anything gave me the opportunity to meet some people in the bike community here.

It's holiday season (for other teachers) which means I'm picking up extra shifts for a few weeks and right not need to split to get to work. I've been bad about pictures as of late but I've been busy with a bike business idea and beginning the NamaRocku podcast but I will get some new pictures up very soon. In the mean time one of the hosts of the event, Booooooo , posted up much nicer pictures that I'll have here which are worth a look.

Lastly, about the podcast, it's almost ready. I have to finish the translation, audio levels, subtitling, credits,get permission for the credits song, etc. but I hope to have it submitted to iTunes in the next week or so. Also, there should be a new website coming to host it so it downloads faster. In the mean time there is a preview up here and any feedback is much appreciated.

Things that make me happy recently

2006-07-06T11:38:00.000-04:00

Things that make me happy recently:

PSAPP
Kazumasa Hashimoto
Super Duluxe
The Ninja
This American Life

what is keeping me occupied at the moment

2006-07-05T11:42:00.000-04:00

So thanks Sam for the email and the nudge nudge, I need to start doing this regularly and I'm actually a bit excited about a couple things so in reality I have a bit more to blabber about these days.

First the bad news, recently I've fallen off the wagon about smoking and I also took a plunge a couple weeks ago on my bike when my front tire got caught in some train tracks but these events are unrelated. My shoulder should be back up to speed in a few more days. As far as the smoking, well, let me just say I'm a bit more pleasant person to be around these days and I'm willing to bet that Keiko would agree. Anyway, she fought the good fight as I cheated here and there because the stress was getting to me. She didn't want me to start again, we both knew it was a slippery slope but the failure is entirely mine. The time will come, in the mean time, on with life.

So anyone who has talked to me that much recently (this includes very few to nil largely because of my own errors) may have heard about a couple ideas. One involves this bicycle obsession and a possible business model that I've yet to get off my lazy butt and really begin to research. The other is a very recent idea and I don't think I've told anyone stateside about it. Anyway, it's already on the move.

Keiko got me a new iPod as a belated birthday gift after mine went kaplui on the flight back from the states (I have no idea). I now have a still-shiny black 30 GB iPod to tote around and back up all my stuff. Because it has video I've also started to become very interested in podcasting and video podcasts. One thing led to another recently and I knew a friend here with a video cam so I thought why not run the idea by him and give it a shot. It's not a ground breaking idea but so far I don't see anyone else who's jumped on this particular podcast idea. So, I mentioned it over lunch on Friday by the end of the day we had potentially scheduled a second episode and the following night we were off to begin filming the first.

So it's real simple. I go see bands, get some video of them playing live. Do a short interview and pass on the contact info. Eventually there will be a website that gives additional info, possibly a free MP3 or so and anything else of interest about the band, or I might just help the band set up a myspace page and let them run with it. Simple, right?

This is my first foray into anything video and I'm already realizing just how much is involved. Don't get me wrong, I expected a lot of it but it's just going to take me a while until I get the tools under control. In the past couple days I've spliced together a few clips as sort of a preview here for anyone who wants to check it out. It has no titles, talking, info or me. It's just some clips with some music as of right now. I'm hoping to get the whole 6-8 minutes finished in the next couple weeks but I have to film the show intro and the interview which is not easy to schedule in the city of two week advance appointments for pizza delivery.

In the mean time here is the link and please, anyone with any feed back or suggestions please send them on.

this is only a test

A something or other post

2006-05-29T12:24:00.000-04:00

Three high school boys in a small park fixed themselves statue-like along the edge of a decaying old fountain. Panting after I finished my jog, I watched them from the edges wondering what they were doing. At first thought they were posing as pop stars for an invisible camera. Owing to the likelihood of my footsteps on the crumbling dirt waking the boys from their meditation, it took me a while to make out what they were fixed upon. I turned off my headphones and was surprised that I could hear nothing except the tired feet of a few late commuters stumbling home from the station. I chanced the situation and walked a bit closer still covered stretching occasionally and surveying the still hidden object of their attention. There were no sounds, not even whispers or the scrape of their shoes on the concrete ledge making an noise.

I often come to this tiny neighborhood park that by daylight hosts the screams and energy of the local kids finding creative ways to unleash themselves in such a small place. The dirt park offers no swings, slides or toys of any kind less the old-fountain, a couple of immovable benches and surprisingly an ungrafittied public toilet. I've watched hide and seek games begin with all the contestants visible from the count of zero; adventurous elementary school kids shooting homemade arrows and climbing the lone, surprisingly rugged tree to get to the roof of the public toilet fort. By night the park quiets and acts as a reprieve to single locals, small groups of high school kids, returning husbands and occasionally myself, the reluctant jogger. The exclamations and flying children of the day contrast with the somber and hushed mood of the nights. It seems that everyone, the occasional couples, groups of friends and likely even myself, are avoiding going home. In this small park people can anonymously sit and briefly find a quiet open space to escape the confined lives of work and home that in this city more than all others, seldom allow for privacy. Even if we all spoke the same language, even if we were all bleeding extroverts, we would not talk to other solitary strangers. It is not the place for that.

I remember many faces glowing by the light of their phones as they frantically text.

I finally noticed a pair of deeper shadows along the concrete barrier holding back the soil and bushes. My first thought was perhaps is was a friend of the boys squatting in the ground, looking down in to an old style camera. But, then I remembered the year and thought if it were a camera it would have the tell-tale glow of all modern day digital cameras which have come to mean for all intensive purposes now simply mean, camera. No, instead it moved slightly and the two shadows crossed each other thinly. It seemed to be a cat, possibly calico but I could not tell without risking disturbing the boys who still were squatting around the fountain and its iron statue of the girl. They had changed their pose only twice for the few minutes I was observing. At first squatting and later standing but both times very still. I waited for the flash of a self-timed camera but it never came. It is possible they were in fact taking pictures without a flash and this necessitated their frozen posturing but I like to think they were instead in communion with the cat.

I look around here and after a year I am still in fact very much an outsider. I think I have very little figured out in general and with many of the young high-school boys who artlessly un-tuck their shirts and pull up the collars of their uniforms, who sit with their short socks, penny loafers legs crossed exposing the occasionally haired leg... they all look slightly rebellious, a bit stylish, a tad 70s glam prep school Bowie and almost all of the ones who carry themselves with any physical confidence, a speck gay. It's doubtful their fashion or actions have any effect on my situation, but, all that aside I still like to think that those few moments I stumble onto in this crazy city are precisely the things that inspire the modern myths about this city. I for one prefer the imaginary possibilities of the evening to the realities of the Tokyo daylight.

Tama-Gawa (river)

2006-04-09T10:53:00.000-04:00

Today was a day entirely to myself. My bosses mistake left me with no classes to teach and I decided today would be a day to begin my Japanese studying which I have been putting off lately partly from my semi-preparation for the Foreign Service exam and more because of my horrible laziness over the past month. In lieu of studying much of anything I've been spending time numbing my brain with movies and some tv shows that I've come across. Earlier this week, out of frustration with what I was becoming, I deleted them all in order to give myself over to a more disciplined life. Unfortunately over the last few years I've developed an internet addiction that is on par with with it's uselessness with most people addiction to crap tv and others with things much worse. Even though I like to think I spend my time reading things more of note far too much crap has slipped into my lengthening morning online news rituals. Clean slate shall we say.

Spring is slowly creeping in here, taking a fair amount longer than I would prefer. It was t-shirt weather in the sun today but the moment the clouds covered it you needed a jacket. I'm sitting on a bench now at 11 at night just to get out of my house and it must be somewhere in the 50's but tolerable. The cherry blossoms which have been the focus of so many people's attention over the last two weeks are shaking off the last of the fragile white blossoms and the last of the Hanamis are taking place around me. Soon, I'll be able to sweat again.

I've been trying to get back into my running as well. A small belly has seemed to have emerged over that lsat few months as a replacement for my smoking. I blame it more on slowed metabolism than eating more although I know I have been snacking more than I should. Well, usually I'm content to run in my neighborhood on the hard but smooth concrete streets observing the really interesting residential architecture in my area but recently my shins have begun to complain. Also, because the weather is so nice I decided to go ahead and make my way down to the Tama river which cuts the southern part of Tokyo into the next prefecture. The city, or prefectures, have made the banks along the river pretty much continuous park areas for a good amount of the river, I'm really not sure how much. On my jog today I admired several generations of Japanese worshiping their recently renewed faith of baseball. Although I didn't find any tee-ball, I did find everything else from dad's pitch all the way up to middle aged recreational teams in full matching uniforms. I jogged by each of them one by one, one field after the other as well as a golfing range on the other side and a mini (not miniature) golf course in between the baseball diamonds and soccer fields. Others had set up picnic areas on the concrete banks along both sides while mothers pushed their children in strollers and enjoyed the weather. The parks really seems to come to life, more so on the weekends as I imagine is the case everywhere but even more here.

But that's all for now. Promise to get pictures up soon of the Cherry Blossoms of the last couple weeks. Check back in the next couple days.

skype anyone?

2006-04-09T08:06:00.000-04:00

some of you know about this, some of you don't. If you want to talk this is the best way. I usually don't plug anything but this really is FM stereo quality if it's computer to computer. Check it out.

Get Skype and call me for free.

April 8th is now in the past tense

2006-04-09T07:52:00.000-04:00

Ahh, helluva weekend but it's finally over. So, yesterday was the magic day of the Foreign Service Written Exam. I was surprised to see as man people taking it here in Tokyo. There must have been between 60-80 people by my estimate. Anyway, I was not allowed to leave for six hours and spent a good hunk of that testing. I'm not positive how I did, it could really go either way. I knew about the format and I've even prepared a bit. I timed myself on a couple sample essays earlier in the week and realized just how out of practice my writing is but how it's even worse writing longhand. My already poor handwriting has deteriorated even further and I think I've forgotten almost entirely how to write script/cursive. Well, this time I at least completed the essay in the proper time but it definitely was not the same caliber I wrote (on the computer) for the GRE a couple years back. Anyway, the other sections I really don't know, just have to be patient and wait.

I'm a historically slow test taker and yesterday proved no exception. I was among the last to finish for each section. Most likely it is the kind of people this tests attracts, especially when you're taking it abroad, but there seemed to be lots of interesting people yesterday. Unfortunately, sinceI was among the last to lay my pencil down during the final section, I didn't get the chance to grab the information of the people I had med during the break. For those few hours we were all back at university going through a semester final.

It has been a while where I've been in an environment where I could talk freely and openly with strangers. I haven't gone to the foreign oriented bars and I've avoided Ropongi entirely by its reputation. Anyway, the situation contrasted drastically to the pack of Japanese university students I saw waiting in single file at the Asahi TV building recently. Lined up in their identical suits, identical ties, identical black briefcases, waiting there turn to try and be the one of 50 that impresses the interviewer. They stood lined up not unlike the Agent Smith character in the Matrix once he has cloned himself many times over, minus the sunglasses and caucasian-ness. Not saying a word but silently looking ahead like bears hibernating with their eyes open. None of that was to be had yesterday. In the first place most people came in jeans or other comfortable clothing with the exception of a few others in suits who probably had to go to work afterwards. The attitudes were such a welcome warm change as well. It was easy to tell that a conversation could be started by simply saying the words "so what did you think?" or some equivalent to just about anyone. This seems so trite but after you've been here for a while you start to wonder if language aside, the Japanese would act in any similar way.

The weather report said rain and in proper fashion (the forecasts here don't lie) it did in fact rain. At least twice during the morning, I walked out to wet concrete and skies opening a bit to show off some grayish blue, very Houston. Katherine (a fellow UT Texan who also took the test) and I had some lunch and wandered around enjoying the day and the weather. While stopping for another cup of coffee in Azubu-juban we noticed one of our fellow test takers who joined us and we talked about our situations. Another very American moment that reminded me of some of the things I really miss. The casual encounters, the ever so slight motivation needed to talk to a new person, even the smaller scale of most cities back home (LA and outer-loop Houston excluded) that encourage these things to happen, these are some of the small things I treasure in life.

Anyway, that is that. I don't get my results back until sometime in July. If I pass there is the oral assessment which is even then only the second step. All said it can take a bare minimum of a year but usually much longer to find out if you are going to get a placement. So, fingers crossed.

Smokeless show-going

2006-03-24T10:33:00.000-05:00

I think my dopamine levels are finally beginning to even out to the point where I can sit down and focus on writing. I tore the last nicotine patch (and a bit of peach-fuzz hair) from my shoulder last Sunday night. Monday went by without major issues except for a slight inability to focus on anything ('I'm looking at you but I don't even know what language we should be speaking') that evening. I stepped out earlier on break trying to find someone outside for a smoke break. I didn't want to bum a smoke (that never happens here anyway and I don't know how to ask) but I wanted to stand around it and just smell. Surprisingly, I could find no one. This is probably for the best since I was outside and would have had to stand suspiciously close to have any effect and doing that here might have caused a significant amount of uncomfortableness.

The following day was a holiday and I went out to a pop-punk show alone. By the time I made it to the place I knew I was paying as much to stand in the middle of a smoke-filled room as I was to listen to any music. It was a cute show, I looked out of place being possibly the oldest in attendance and the only foreigner I could tell of. All the bands, every one of the 4 that I caught were ripped from the GetUpKids/Weezer mold that I didn't know was still exerting so much influence, let alone over here. But there it was with several of the bands employing keyboards for these pop hook choruses and jumping around on stage with their trucker hats and sweat flying.

The two bands I really went to see I found out about when I was spending a few hours wandering through the listening stations of either Tower or HMV. This is one of the cheapest pass times here in Tokyo and popular with locals as well as foreigners. Eenie Meenie and Afterpilot are cut from the same mold, so much that when they played they even traded a couple members to play in both bands. Furthermore, they both sing mostly in English. I'm hoping there is a reason for this more than blatant idol worship but I'm not sure. Regardless, playing live they did work their butts off. They brought out a fair amount of fans but it was not from their lack of jumping around on stage or constant confronting the microphone with that one fierce step for a yelled out chorus that the show could have been a bit better. The audience, mostly college age girls, hardly moved. Unfortunately, and this may be because drinking is less of a big thing at shows, this is about par for the course. I do have to admit, there was one girl in a baseball cap and one guy in the front (who had earlier in the evening downed an entire flask-size bottle of whiskey.... I saw him!) who did go all out. Most others stood there looking mildly impressed, I really couldn't tell.

There were nice moments in between and I spent the rest of them wondering what the odds were that someone would offer me a cigarette. I figured this to be something extraordinary high, on par with a small lottery winning. This being the case I allowed that if this highly unlikely event did in fact occur, fate might take it as a slight if I refused and I reconciled myself to accepting this imagined gift. No one offered.

Three days later and I'm feeling better, a little more at peace. I went running, did some of my pushups and sit-ups to try and begin relieving myself of the beer(-less)-gut that has recently appeared. I didn't go through major cravings although I'd still pick up a pack and smoke till my last breath if I didn't really think it was horrible for me. One day at a time.

The next few weeks I'm going to be spending working, not smoking and of course studying for the US Foreign Service written exam. This test is almost exactly two week away and I have been rather successfully procrastinating from it for most of the last month. I seem to have channeled my inner-college first semester freshman and now having done this I need to find a fire to put under his ass.

Anyway, that is all for me at the moment. I do want to comment about this one blog a friend introduced me to today that inspired my lazy ass to get out and write a bit. This guy is really getting out there and seeing what all music this city has to offer although I'm not entirely sure how he affords it. Anyone curious about some of the music going on here check out JapanLive .

Pictures

2006-02-18T00:09:00.001-05:00

Heya, got links to pictures.
Our day in the mountains

Our ski trip

on returning from home, Part I

2006-02-16T08:15:00.000-05:00

Argh, caught a cold this week. Preparing for Kollin-San to come next week. We're going skiing! I've never gone before and I'm planning on breaking my leg before I go to get a head start on the whole event since we're only going for a day.

The weather here is turning nice and I promise to put up some pictures of the snow a few weeks ago one of these days. Really, I do. I've run into a little rut the past week trying to get myself studying for this damn test. Moved onto Macro-economics and it must be the lighting in the apartment mixed with the particular shade of pistachio green and pepto-bismol pink that soothes my eyes in a way that I keep dropping off every half a page.

Some people have inquired as to how I felt coming back to Japan after the trip home and I felt I should address that, eventually. I have to admit that it was a feeling that I didn't quite expect. I had a great time while I was home. It was so refreshing to be around good friends again and to be entirely free to say what I want in whatever way I want. It was amazing to be able to say whatever was on my mind and to know that if anyone ever disagreed with me, I would hear about it, immediately. I also need to say that I appreciate how supportive and encouraging some of you were. I went home rather unsure about what it would be like and uncertain about what path I might take on in the future. Steven, Peter and Michelle, I have to give a big thank you, largely for your faith in me, it really means a lot to me. Having said I feel a bit more certain that graduate school is very likely in my future. I am looking into it and plan on taking the GRE some time soon after April. No decisions will be made until Keiko and I agree together on the best path but I think it will happen eventually.

About coming back, well to put it straight, coming back to Japan really felt like I was coming home, in some ways more than going back to Texas. I know I've been here less than a year and I realized that it's largely related to having Keiko here but I don't think I would have felt like this if I had come home during my time in Korea. I still miss aspects of Austin. I miss the people, the culture, the music, the BBQ, my friends and of course the weather, but I feel like I have finally severed myself from that city. I think I filtered out the remaining nostalgia for the city and the memories I left with this time will be more concrete and tangible than some of the mush that was previously clogging my mind. It's good to see people doing things with their lives back there, but at the same time it was also a little disheartening to see how little things had changed for some. After the first couple days, there were a few situations that made me feel like I had never left and in reality that is the impression I got from some of the others too, my two years were in reality just a couple weeks.

So on the shuttle bus from Narita airport back to my part of this monstrously-sized city, the pulsating signs, sparkling taxis driving on the left and itsy-bitsy box of an apartment I call home, really felt just like that. I feel renewed coming back. My language ability is still a tad above nil but I'm attacking it with a renewed energy and I'm feeling less intimidated to try it out.

But, in the mean time let me just post this damn thing up along with some new pictures. It snowed here a few days after I returned, really unexpected yet beautiful. The trees were full of grace. Alas, it is gone now.

new stuff

2006-02-01T19:00:00.000-05:00

this could be the beginning of a move to my .Mac site, not sure how I feel about the software yet and the page seems to be running slow. Anyway, check it out:

Corbett's New Site

Back in the USSA

2005-12-15T05:27:00.000-05:00

But, as far as being back so far, my feelings are mixed. It's weird, getting off the plane and then making my way into the city yesterday, my own country really felt like a "foreign" country. I feel a little awkward going into places, speaking freely in English. On the bus yesterday a stranger told me a I had pretty eyes and at the bar a woman said she liked my beard when I was talking to my friend Peter. That felt strange, even if I spoke Japanese I don't think that would happen in Japan. I had a long conversation on the bus with a woman who may or may not be a little crazy yesterday as she helped find which stop I should get off at. The bartenders, even the guy at the shoe store, talked to me for a long time in a way that didn't seem artificial, just talkative and friendly. Those are things I miss about here that I don't think would happen even if I spoke Japanese.

But then there are other things, all the negative things. When I was waiting for my luggage it seemed like every person had a huge belly hanging over their pants, making me feel even more like I need to start exercising and being more careful when I get back. The moment I stepped on the train here all I could see was how dirty it seemed. Years ago when I had visited the city before I remember how I always was impressed at how clean and modern the transportation seemed, but not now, not after being in Japan on subway cars that are sometimes many years old but still clean and respected.

Here I do like how diverse the place is. I like how many different people are walking around and how expressive people are. I like walking by a Chinese restaurant and seeing and 70 year old black man having dinner with a white woman of the same age. I don't like how dirty the streets are and how sometimes they remind me more of Korea (or even Thailand) than Japan. Yesterday after I showered I felt like I could smell the pollution on the streets and in the air.

Tonight the bar Eric went to was in a "rougher" part of town. Lots of homeless people walking around and it seems like every fourth person on the street lived there, was crazy, or both. I mean, this is San Francisco and lots of people like this seem to flock here, but it's not so different from the rest of the country. The bar we went into was sort of nice and mostly white with a few Asians and others but just outside where everybody was stepping outside to have their cigarettes where all these (mostly black) people walking through asking for cigarettes and money. Patrons going to the bar from their cars or hopping from cabs seemed oblivious to it and to some to degree I acted in the same way if only to not hand out my entire pack of cigarettes to passers by. This is my country... It makes me sad how here, in the 'richest' country in the world that, so many people have to live this way, or more realistically, grow up in life that leaves them this way. At the same time, I appreciate the millions of people who are able come here from other poorer countries and make a better life. There are trade offs, there are the good with the bad. Maybe I'll feel different about it in a few weeks when I've had more time to adjust.

collage post

2005-10-30T21:56:00.000-05:00

It was great to have Kollin here. In my time in Asia I've only had 2 people come visit and Kollin is the closest of those. I'm sure the initial experience of meeting was slightly less surreal for me than him. I'm more than accustomed to the flashing lights, ubiquitous video adverts hanging overhead and text that I can't read, aside from looking the slightest bit more weary (he did just get off a god knows how long flight) the absence of time seemed eliminated and I felt just like back in austin, albeit a slightly larger locale.

A week ago we were privileged to go see some local bands play. I met Bo a couple months ago and I finally got the chance to see his band play after a little mistake I made sent me to the right club on the wrong day, exactly one month on the wrong day. But we got to see his band, Worst Taste and were introduced to some others including Salad Bar a very fun, noisy band that sported hawaiian shirts, flip flops and dance routines between songs. Great fun. We went out to an izakaya (late night restaurant) with Kollin, Keiko and half the club before missing the last train home and debating whether to sleep in a park or fork over for a taxi. I'm really glad Kollin got to have that experience, I'm pretty damn happy about it for myself as well. I'm hoping to be able to spend more time with those kids we met that night. I feel much less intimidated trying out my modicum of Japanese when they are fumbling for the same in English.

Finally on Tuesday, the last day and night, we bounced around to different areas and I got to throw Kollin atop of a bike at dusk to go retrieve the camera he left behind the night of the bands. Everything happened so quickly that time blurred and after a nice dinner with Keiko we were parting at the train station and he was gone. It's been great though, it's a bit jarring when those reminders of home leave once again, I go back to the shoebox apartment and the days of talking to hardly anyone until Keiko comes home at night, but so it goes. With Kollin I actually got to check out some parts of my city that I hadn't experienced before. I guess having a friend visiting inspires me to get off the beaten track of my everyday life and invigorates me a bit.

It seems to always takes me a tad bit of time to open up when I talk to other foreigners and especially people I know. Living this life, where I often don't express myself like I used to, makes me live in my head perhaps even more, at least it impedes the brain to mouth flow of words with thoughts and ideas briefly getting tied up behind my nose before a couple of hours or meetings clear up the traffic jam of culture, absence and time.

Keiko and I are going strong, surprising even myself. We spend every night together and often don't go out but that seems to be fine. Occasionally I crave the energy of a busy room or bar but usually by the time I make it to the station that has been quenched. Yesterday was a perfect example, I was going to go into Shinjuku, one of the busiest sections of town that also has one of the best bookstores, but after I swerved my bike between the crowds of the street near my local station and hopped up to the tracks, I let the train doors close in front of me while I stood on the platform. Keiko was sick, I felt bad leaving her at home even if it was for a few hours, the bookstore and the area's swarms of people could wait. I loaded my bag up with junk food, udong and other things I thought she might like and biked back home after picking up a movie I thought would distract her from her cold. Maybe I'm becoming agoraphobic, maybe it's just the shear size of the city, I'm not sure. Later in the evening when Keiko found herself falling asleep, I sneaked out to a local cafe and did some writing for a couple hours, that was really what I needed, a few people around me providing a japanese hum behind my headphones and some time to just put some thoughts down on paper, or, actually postcards in this case.

Quote of the day

2005-10-22T12:21:00.000-04:00

ME: I love this song title: Handjobs for the Holidays (Broken Social Scene)
K: You mean like a carpenter?

20 Km in the rain

2005-10-18T23:38:00.000-04:00

newpix HERE

Sunday left us with no call from Kollin till late in the evening, we were already eating near our house so not too many tales to tell about day 2 of his visit. He wandered around with friends from the Hotel/Guesthouse and explored a bit on his own. I took to trying to explain the genius and beauty of "In the Mood For Love" to a sleepy girlfriend after a 2 hours dinner. Monday because of work left me with little free time, so onwards to Tuesday.

Kollin woke me at 9:30 in the morning, I eventually met him back in Shibuya at 11 only about 20 minutes late. We had no set plan for the day, it was still drizzling so we started by walking through the slightly less busy than usual streets of Shibuya. After lunching once again at the sushi spot from the previous Saturday night, we made our way towards the Beverly Hills (or one of them) of Tokyo in Omote Sando to see the Prada building and the area in general which seems to have one of the highest concentration of high end stores and nice architecture. Onwards from there to a mid day hello to Keiko and then towards the winding backstreets behind Harajuku. Honestly, we probably didn't cover that much territory but rambled to and fro so much that we found ourselves walking for at least 7 hours yesterday. I actually had not been over to some of the spots we found and was shocked when I encountered a See's Candy Store which I don't think even exist in the States anymore. I bought four pieces and then tried to hide my aghast expression when it totaled over 10 bucks. So it goes. We found a great cafe we could rest our feet and wait out the last remnants of the rain over a couple great coffees watching the wide assortment of Tokyo's best dressed and strangely dressed pass by. We caught up further on life back home and how is business is doing, which is really well I'm happy to hear.

Later in the evening we met up with Keiko to go find some food eventually landing in AC Cafe near Harajuku after passing by a Condomania store (is this a world chain or it is just the most obvious choice in names?). Needless to say, after eating the tasty yet fusion-esque food and downing a couple of drinks, the two of us were exhausted and ready to call it a night. Today, if everything went well Kollin should be on a train to Kyoto and be returning on Saturday. As for me, I'll try to slow down the monetary leakage of the last few days and focus on work. Sunday is another day off to look forward to.

Kollin-san meets Jazzy Jeff first night in Tokyo

2005-10-17T23:11:00.000-04:00

Ahh, what a week, I'm hardly sure where to begin since it's been a bit since my last entry.

The weather of late has been nothing but grey skies and days of continuous light rain but luckily the skies parted in the form of a friend coming to visit and bearing gifts. Kollin arrived safely into Tokyo this past Saturday surprisingly well rested which is good since on his first night in town we kept him out the entire night. Thanks to Lito and Guido for providing me with coffee and music. As I write this I am taking full advantage of the both. Now, if we could just get their asses out here as well but alas, I know Senor L is busy with too many projects and Mr. G, well, he'd probably have to find a job first...

Met Kollin near the famous Hachiko statue outside of Shibuya station. He had a native KC-ite in tow who helped guide him a bit looking excited and surprisingly refreshed even though the rain was coming down in sheets. The streets were shining a welcoming leading a nice night. Even though it's been a year and half and the environment probably could not have changed more, life slipped right into place. We headed over a bar for a beer and some long needed catching up. Over a couple pints I got filled in on some of the details of his life and others close to me from that city that seems so far off, and in actuality, is. Since I had worked all day and the weather lately seems to be creating some allergies, I wasn't planning on a late night. We took off for a late dinner at a great rotating sushi bar in Shibuya a friend had turned me onto a few weeks back. Everything is one price pre plate, around a buck actually. You have to order a minimum of 7 plates per person and during peak hours have time limits on how long you can stay, needless to say no one had any problem meeting the quota and our bill for three was only around 30$. Can't beat that.

Our Kansas compadre had left a bit earlier to go see DJ Jazzy Jeff who was playing that night, we were feeling good and unsure about dropping the cash and the time for an all night venture. We walked over and decided against it and rushed back to the station to realize that Kollin had missed the last train to the area he was staying at. For some reason it ends a little earlier on Saturdays which makes absolutely no sense to me. Well, with this and the fact that a taxi ride is completely unrealistic, back to the club not knowing what to expect.

After a brief pit stop for a small bottle of whiskey to lighten the expenses for the long night, we inched into the line we had see a bit earlier to go into the nondescript and completely signless club "Nut". As the case is with a lot of clubs in Japan, this one sunk would would be 3 stories into the ground. I guess this helps with sound control but it doesn't do much for promotion of the place on the outside, there was nothing except for office buildings and a couple of convenience stores down the block. Now, I've brought my own drinks into many a bar and club and in Tokyo especially I had experienced no searching or any cause for concern but as we descended the stairs there were some Aussies stirring up trouble doing the same thing. All I can say, is thank goodness for briefs as opposed to boxers, mission accomplished. Down the rabbit hole we go, further.

There are really 2 floors to the place, upstairs a dimly lit bar and a DJ spinning more mellow dance and hip hop. The 3500 Yen ticket gets you a drink ticket which I use as much for the ice later on as I do for the gin and tonic it originally contained. We meet up with the guy from Kansas and decide to check out the main floor below. Jazzy Jeff isn't scheduled to come in until about 2:30 and there were a handful of other locals warming up the crowd. This is my first time to go to a dancing environment in Japan and I had been warned that unlike Korea, the Japanese were a little nervous about letting it all hang out. This proved partly true. This isn't a huge place, maybe around 500 people total but it was packed considering the size, about the size of the Emo's small stage back in Austin, maybe a tad larger. It was a mixture, unlike in Korea where there probably would have been break circles going on, here it was largely people dancing relatively in place facing the dj booth on the stage. A screen behind the dj projected the turntables that were being filmed from somewhere above. A nice setup overall and in typical Japanese efficiency (the Germans probably love Japan) in addition to a second bar down below there was a vending machine for beer in the rear next to the exceptionally clean bathrooms. For a club like this, there is something peculiarly incongruous about this, but then I'm used to slacker Austin I suppose.

Jazzy Jeff was actually great, I mean I have those juvenile memories of him and the now "Will Smith" doing summertime back when I was in high school and I knew he had gone on to be a well regarded dj and producer but I was impressed. The set went back to high school days but lacked entirely any Fresh Prince material, I can't say I missed that. In fact, although I'm not an expert, his mixing was great and with the video you could really see how much he was really working the process and giving the people their money's worth. There wasn't any of the talking over the tracks or much communication with the audience at all other than through the music. By three I was sweating and dancing with Keiko trying to maneuver our position so that she could see a little better while Kollin was getting free shots by these two insanely tall Japanese women. With the shortening days we left the club a little after 5, made our way back to the station and found ourselves walking down Kohumbutsu street around 5:30 with dawn only beginning to peak it's head up and slamming down the storm shutters so that we could sleep in peace which we did until about 3 that afternoon. Not something I want to do every weekend but it effectively wiped out my allergies and gave me a release that I have needed for a while. A good night, with good friends, old and new.

Big Cities, Pastor, AMANSET and Her Space Holiday

2005-10-03T02:16:00.000-04:00

Skip to more pictures HERE

Small bottle of whisky that conveniently fits in a bag that is never checked at the door: 500 yen.
Cost of the show (advance price) + required drink ticket = 4000 yen.

So, to translate that into US money, before I've gotten my first drink or heard the first note I've dropped a little over 40 bucks and it's only 7 o'clock at night, only 2 bands playing, but they be 2 bands from Austin and the entire night ended up well worth my while.

American Analog Set and Her Space Holiday played last night here in Tokyo, I found out it was the first time in Japan for AMANSET which I was surprised by and hence the show sold out. Luckily I didn't repeat the mistake of waiting to get my ticket and even though my other friends couldn't make it I had a lovely night of dancing and seeing familiar faces. Amanset had some technical difficulties with their rented Rhodes but ultimately the sound was rich, clean and LOUD. Kenny kicked a couple songs up a notch giving them a good punch with the distortion peddle. They mixed some old songs with newer ones and if memory serves correctly there was even a track from their first CD "From our Bedroom to Yours" (I think).

It became obvious that quite a few had come for Her Space Holiday who headlined and I don't think anyone left disappointed. After seeing them a couple times post-Kylie Mark and co. solidified my opinion that their live shows outshine their CD's. I haven't heard the new one but while the last one had some nice tracks the energy of the live shows never quite crosses over to the recordings. They opened with "My ex-girlfriend's boyfriend" but actually toned down the Weezer-esque chorus and instead revved up the rest of the song with strong drums and heavy bass. It's hard to get Japanese audiences but there were some bodies other than mine jumping around to the music. The rest of the show featured some new songs and past and everything was beefed up by the mixture of electronic and live drums. Good show, the people left hot, sweaty, tired and in great spirits, exactly how it should be.

After getting a chance to talk and finally meet Mark, the drummer from AMANSET I hung out for a while reminiscing about Austin and life there. For a moment I felt a million miles closer to my old home. Leaving the club I was faced once again with the anonymity monster that is Tokyo, to walk the street half drunken swerving between people worse off than myself, staring at my feet as I faced the crowded train ride home awash in my thoughts and feeling more alone than I have in ages. Maybe it just takes growing up in a city like this to be accustomed to it, but I don't really know if people were meant to live like this, and THIS is the future, at least for a lot of the world. I read about the megatropolises sprouting up throughout China, creating cozy communities of several million over a couple years and I wonder if we're all headed in the right direction if it means living amongst more and more strangers in apartments the size of suburban closets. I'm not at all ready to leave, but I am anxious to see the green spaces of Austin and ride my bike once again and wave at familiar faces which after 5 months are still all but absent here. I'm planning on staying here for at least another year, but I have been thinking that if I find Japan in my future again, or any of several other countries that I'm going to pick a smaller place. I've heard you can bike across Kyoto and meet people with ease because you'll see them several times a week. All a bit like back home and that is something I miss.

Pastor from ATX/NYC was here for a couple weeks and said that it's hard to even compare this place to NY, that it sucks in and consumes that entire city and multiplies, then lays it down in sheets of concrete (my words, not his). Tokyo is a beast unique to itself and perhaps I've simply not found the correct way of navigating through it, time will tell and language is a bit part of the key. In the meantime I'll be waiting for a familiar face to return a smile or wave of the hand as I bike the familiar path to work. Hajimemashite.

long lost update

2005-09-30T13:18:00.000-04:00

Haven't been writing, yaada, yaada, yaada... I suck.

Ok, so anyway, let me preface this by thanking Bi and Jeff back in Austin who after much ado, successfully got my old BMX to me last week. This definitely made my day and really, the whole month. After scraping as much of the rust off the frame as I could with a dinner knife I got it together and purchased a cable lock that in the US would be an open invitation to steal the bike, but here is as strong as kryptonite. Theft is not the biggest concern, or, so it would seem.

Bike theft does happen I've been told, really but I don't think that often. Part of this might be there is little reason to knock off a 50 buck shopping bike but I haven't really heard of it happening too much at all. Anyway, that doesn't stop the eagle eyed police, better to be safe than sorry they think, or at least try to relieve some of their boredom.

So tonight, within the last hour, I go to see if Keiko is going to make the last train. She forgot her phone at home this morning and met some friends after work, warning via email before she left the office that she might be late. Well, after she hadn't showed up I thought I would go see if I could meet her for the last train. I waited, sitting on my bike, going around the station between trains, enjoying the wheels that had been absent the last 2 years. The taxis were clearing out as the last train pulled away leaving me with an entire circle to play around on my bike, absent of cars and with few people. Well, she didn't show, she must've missed the train, stay with her friend from work, it's happened before, life in a huge city where the trains go to bed earlier than the people.

I bike around a bit but start to get a little nervous because I've not registered my bike here and I've been told that you need a light, but I'm still unsure if the last part is really a law. But, I'm still enjoying being out on the bike. Fall surprised me last week and I awoke a bit cold and reaching for more covers in the morning. After a couple of days of cloudy weather the skies have been clear and the weather cool and absolutely wonderful. So tonight, I was enjoying just being on my bike and listening to the new Broken Social Scene album. But, being careful I decide to stay off the more pedestrian paths home thinking that there might be a few bike cops overseeing the stumbling latecomers make their way home. I didn't want to get reprimanded for no light.

I go down this little bike path that is usually pretty quiet at night and within a block have one of those 'ain't that a bitch' moments. I'm already going a little fast and as I do, I see 2 cops on the other side of the divided path. I thought one was on a bike but was afraid that the other had a scooter. I pick up speed and turn off, trying to be natural. I mean, it's a BMX and being quick is just how you ride the damn thing, but I guess I have only seen a few in this area. Anyway, I ditch down some different streets, zigzagging a bit between different alleys. I caught a glimpse of a cop on a scooter a couple times a couple blocks over but didn't think he was following me. Eventually I pull out on the main street near my house, the shopping street, just a block or so from my place, headphones still on. And this damn cop on a scooter catches up with me and gets me to pull over. I'm thinking, shit, I didn't do anything wrong (assuming that light thing is not a law), I don't speak enough Japanese to explain much of anything and my girlfriend's AND my phone are at home (I left it there since she's the only one who calls). He tries to ask a couple questions, being polite and not accusatory, manages to communicate that I was going fast through a mixture of hand gestures and a light bulb remembrance of the word fast in English. In between this, he's on the walkie-talkie, I assume wanting to check the serial number on my bike (I hope).

So he's checking out my bike, and then another bike cop shows up, then a another, then across the street a notice a white van with at least 3 or 4 cops inside it. What the f*ck? Even if this was stolen, what are they expecting? Cops do have guns here although I can't help but think in a very residential area like where I live that they would treat them like Deputy Phife and carry a bullet in their pockets. So the big cop comes over, turns my bike upside down to check the serial, radios it in. We wait for a couple minutes and the other friendly bike cop newcomer asks where I'm from. I'm trying to be cooperative even though they had pretty much ruined my evening ride. My earlier thought of having a drink at the bar near my house is dashed, I'm just want to go home... with my bike.

Eventually they get a signal back, apologize and that is it, they let me go. I'm surprised as I take off, quick again (they need to realize this is how I ride a lot of the time and I live here) and make my way home. I mean, I realize the pulled me over more because I was riding fast and probably because it was night but I guess I'm just so conditioned by how we perceive the police in America that even here I feel equal anxiety. It's not really fair for either, most cops in America are fine and just doing their job. I guess they are here, it's just that they have so little of a job to do so much of the time, it takes an entire police unit to back up a foreigner riding fast on a bike.

I'm registering that damn thing this week.

Pictures Update

2005-08-18T11:46:00.000-04:00

I'm going to write a real updated soon, but in the mean time I've updated the pictures site with a new menu, check it out: newpix

earthquakes and city lights

2005-08-08T23:00:00.000-04:00

Life in Japan, what a mess. No, really things have been going fine. Keiko and I are exploring the rather sensitive nature of developing a relationship between two people who are still learning about the other and all that it entails being from two wildly different cultures all in an apartment the size of a shoe box (and a Japanese one at that which means size 9, not 12). We've had more ups than downs and we're trying hard to make it all work. This is not meant to sound negative, I have to say that all things considered we're doing pretty well. We had a nasty little hump to get over last week spawned by some withheld concerns but spent a few hours and half a bottle of whisky talking it through and have made some progress that seems lasting. Myself, being an expert on the cut and run, find myself in quite a new situation here. In a few hours I'll pick up my first full paycheck, which means that I'll be financially independent for the first time in several months. But still I'm in no position to run if I wanted, this means that I have to actually stick it out and try to make a relationship work, this is very new for me. You would think at 28 I would have a few more long term relationships to look back on and learn from while the reality is that I was the master of short bursts of passion where myself and the other person, as a couple, extended a thin situation out until I eventually cut the ties that bind to move on. Wash, rinse, repeat... I've always been good at that, I guess it is time to grow up. All praise to Nick Hornby for the bitch slap set to the best pop music.

As far as Japan, or more precisely Tokyo, well it is what it is. Massive, suffocating at times, and full of urban beauty with glittering streets and magical lights. Most of you have probably seen Lost in Translation, there is a shot of the luminous dinosaur walking across the facade of a building in some ubiquitous electronic advertisement that is difficult to escape in the busy areas here, well, that image is so true to the essence of Tokyo. That spot is in Shibuya, home to one of the largest train station/subway stations in the world and possibly the busiest crosswalk where a thousand people cross the street at as many angles as people every 6 minutes. To see it from above is like watching the gentle trails of the largest meteor shower possible. The millions of lights fluttering down mixed with the waiting headlights of the cars in permanent traffic tucked temporarily over to the side, this image is most powerful at night especially after a rain where it seems the streets themselves are imbedded with their own light sources (and to that end, sometimes they are). I would be lying if I said I spent a lot of time in these areas, in fact, as I settle down into my more quiet life of books in my apartment, dinners with Keiko, I find these places at times anathema. There is still enough of Austin in me, my beloved city of a measly 600K, where I can bike the streets and be guaranteed a few casual waves of the hand or nods of the head from faces familiar and not, that here, in a land built for anonymity, there are times that the reality check of the world can be a bit too strong in its ability to make one feel entirely insignificant. But I know ultimately it's a different style of life that I'm slowly opening up to.

I have begun to search out the artistic heart here that makes this city pulsate with creativity. So much of it here is simple artifice and the issue is compounded by language difficulties, it takes a time to disentangle the genuine from the mere vanity. In that regard I did get to see a very cute pop weezer-esque pop band a few weeks ago which was followed by some other groups specializing in less noble derivatives. We drank the rest of the evening away allowing the music to recede further from our ears. I've also met a cool French-Irish guy here who I share a lot of the same interests with. If and when I ever get a guitar we've playfully floated around the idea of trying to play together. This could provide impossible since I can't really play, but since the sound we discussed would be more of an experiment in volume, it might not matter so much. More than likely, it was just casual talk. I'll go completely white the day my childhood rock star dreams move a step closer and I play in a band. But my friend did introduce me to couple more people, most hailing from France but also from England. The night I walked into the organ maker's apartment (yes, organs like in a church) I was all but hustled into a room and hounded for political opinions since I was the sole American. I have to say I didn't mind in the least and spent the great part of the next three hours in a trilateral bull session. Ah, it felt good to be alive and arguing, errr discussing.

This is getting rather long, so I'll gut things off here in a moment. I think I mentioned it before but I am now legal here as well. I have students ranging from 6 to 78, pretty wide range to plan for but they're not in the same class thank god. I'm not sure how I could get a granny to do the hokey pokey without stressing over a possible heart attack.

The last Japan observation: Screw that damn earthquakes! I mean, I've been lucky so far, when there was a rather large one a few weeks ago that caused no damage, I was on a superbly built train line and I didn't feel a thing. I only knew what was going on when the train stopped, they sprayed out some Japanese over the intercom and my eyes left my book to see the power lines swaying in the windless sky outside. That one was fine, but the dozens of little tremors drive me crazy. My apartment is right next to a rather busy freeway and sometimes I'm unsure if it is the lorries or something more serious that vibrates the room for a moment. But there are times when they are most definitely that something else. Being from Texas I have never experienced this before. Last week I standing at my school talking to the owner and the secretary when they both looked at me and simultaneously said "earthquake". Their eyes looked like their souls had briefly left their bodies and a moment later the room began to shake ever so slightly for a couple seconds. I shit you not, these people have a sixth sense and as soon as it passed they laughed it off and gave me advice for serious ones. They keep coming at night when I'm sleeping. I haven't been drinking that much here, but the feeling when you are woken from sleep is somewhere between stumbling intoxication and those shots in Fight Club where the faces shake furiously as Brad Pitt tells you that everything in life you believe in is nothing. That is how you feel, momentarily empty, thinking this could be it, at least at night I can find Keiko sleeping next to me (she can sleep through the small ones) and her presence gives me some comfort. When I finally make it back to sleep I feel the images in my dreams are unstable and that even they may fall apart. The Japanese are well aware of the sensitivity of the land this great city is built on and I often wonder how the knowledge of the inevitable "big one" plays on their psyche. How would you make it through life with the knowledge that a small bomb promises at some point to go off without warning somewhere in your metropolis which happens to be one of the most densely populated cities in the world? Do you keep those closest to you closer, or keep your distance because you never know whose number will come up?

Ok, that is all for now. I apologize about being lax on responding to emails, I’m working on amending that.

________________________________________________________
"...by that I mean there is a degree of excellence in games or sports that we especially resent seeing reached by an unorthodox opponent, a categorical "bastard" of some kind - a Formless Bastard, a Showy Bastard, or just a plain hundred-per-cent American Bastard..."

-J.D. Salinger
Seymour - An Introduction

picts

2005-08-02T13:44:00.000-04:00

I finally got some online, more soon:

picts from June and July

Resuscitation

2005-07-24T13:43:00.000-04:00

Sorry guys, I was going to post some new picts but there seems to be a problem, I'll try to get that worked out soon.

Well, the box is gone, as in the box that our stove came in a couple months ago that has been doubling as our table since we moved in. Today it was replaced by a real cafe table (the biggest thing we could realistically fit into our a little place. I'll post some new picts of our apartment soon to give everyone an idea of how we are constrictively living. But it is working out.

I've started working regularly, usually 6 days a week and after long avail, I am now legal. I jaunted over to Seoul last weekend and got my visa along with a little cold. Anyway, as to be expected it feels good to be working again. Even though I'm tallying up 7 day weeks, I"m usually not teaching more than 4 classes a day, I have 3 one day a week and 5 a couple, it varies a bit depending on who cancels out but lately it's been pretty steady. These aren't my permanent classes yet, I'm picking up for teachers on vacation and I'll have a review in a couple weeks and then will hopefully get my regular schedule. For all those I owe a bit of money to, not to worry, my first real paycheck comes in in a few weeks and I'll be starting that long period of paying back all those who have helped me out so much.

In other news, I've met one person and his girlfriend who is cool but because of the dynamic of the city haven't gotten the chance to hang out very much. He did let me know about a rock show last Saturday that was refreshing. The problem with the shows here is that, like this one, it started at 6 in the evening and cost 30 bucks for local bands. Even though only one of the bands was very good the experiences was worth it and I'll try to make it back to some similar events in the near future, money allowing. I've been spending a lot of time at the house, in general getting out even less than I did before. This is the first time I've visited the coffee shop with internet access in almost a month. School demands a bit of time and I've never been the best person to get much done before work even if that time is 6 hours. What I have been doing a lot lately is reading.

Books I need to suggest:
Yukio Mishima Spring Snow: Dickens done through a Japanese lens with a thick knowledge of Japanese history. But, more than that, beautiful writing that is preserved even though translation. I was talking about this book with one of my older students and he regretted that I couldn't read it in Japanese. I understand why, but I was still amazed at how fluid the images were and being far from an expert I think I got a bit of a sense of the how beauty is constructed in Japanese writing with some of the clearest pictures painted to illustrate the smallest details. Eyes are open at all times for this author and he sees so much. This is the first of four books chronicling Japan over the period of about 70 years (from @1900- 1970) before the author killed himself in public, hours after handing in the final copy of the last manuscript. I'm planning on finishing the series out soon but the books here are a bit pricey and trying to find used copies at the stores here is like trying to find Marquez at Half Price, every one in a while you get lucky but usually the staff just laughs. I might pick this up a second time before I even read the next in the series.

Jeffrey Eugenides Middlesex - I picked this up in Korea now knowing quite what to expect. Although I had seen The Virgin Suicides I had never read the book despite countless devotee friends. There was a a 20% discount on all paperbacks and it won the Pulitzer Prize, at almost 600 pages a good bang for the buck. I finished this in just over four days. I've been out of the loop understandably and I guess I missed the hype, my reading selection has bee random at best over the last couple years but I have to say that hands down this stands next to The Corrections as the best book dealing with the real America I have read published in the last decade. Never mind that the story centers around a hermaphrodite outing his/herself, in fact if it wasn't for just one more theme the author was trying to wedge in it isn't even necessary. The book could easily stand on it's own as a novel about confusion coming of age in modern America, negotiating the cultures from which we have come and the reality around us that never sits still. My only minor criticism may be center around the rather energetic ending which I'm not sure if needed although on a second read I might not mind so much. The first half of the book, dealing with Greek immigrants to Detroit after the Turkish/Greek incident over Cyprus could easily stand as its own novel and to me gives us the best characters. Regardless, this is a great book. Jeff, you need to read this, it deals with your city in its former beauty and it's current dilapidation. Teddy, Sam, do yourself a favor and pick this up.

Not sure what else to say as my battery is about to go again. The world seems to be falling to pieces and there doesn't seem that my country has been able to do much to stop it, actually is seems that we're more like confused cheerleaders unknowingly rooting for the wrong team, maybe that is the point. Any solutions anyone? My hope tank sprang a leak a while back and it seems to be growing, plugging it seems as likely as thinking it will all be fixed by the time Bush is out of office. London hit a second time, albeit with no causalities aside from the innocent man who was chased down and gunned down point blank (Sign of the times?) Things are rough in Egypt and Iraq news is rarely anything but expanding body counts. The can't even keep the leaders alive who are supposed to be able to help guide us out of this all. And what do the great leaders back home have to say against this all? As far as I have read, not much of consequence. We can't cut and run, we know that, the bomb we built has a higher chance of going out if we do that. But hope, guidance, leadership? I still haven't been impressed by much. If any of you know something I don't let me know. I don't want to become the typical American with my head in the sand, pretending it will all fix itself if we ignore it, but lately, out of ideas myself and not hearing much of consequence from back home (criticism yes, but I got myself for that. Leadership and original alternatives? Not much) I have a lot of books and a relationship to keep me company, if it sucks me in much more I might not be able to see what the hell is happening.

Tokyo Update and Picts

2005-06-11T05:35:00.000-04:00

Ok, there are some new picts.
MADRID
CORDOBA
1st Japan Picts

Sorry I've not posted anything in a while. Lack of steady internet access has me not too much in a typing mood, that an lethargy. It has been 4 months since I actually worked and man am I feeling it. Since I don't have a penny of my own to my name, I'm trying to lie low. This means reading and re-reading the few books that I have with me, cooking most or all of my meals, finding the cheapest place to buy ingredients, basically a ho-hum life at this point.

I am reading a bit. I sat at a bookstore last week and read "Snakes and Earrings" by Hitomi Kanehara and most of "Rashomon" and started "Haunted" by Chuck Palahniuk (if there was ever a writer in need of a pen name...). I've finally finished Marquez's "Autumn of the Patriarch" after devouring "Love in the Time of Cholera" for the second time. That being said, I'm in need of some recommendations although my selection here is somewhat limited. I have pinpointed most of the used book stores in a reasonable distance and figured out which stores have a good English selection (and chairs).

But, I do have a job, or I have a job but it doesn't start for a couple more weeks. It was supposed to start this past week but things didn't work out. The guy whose shift I would have been covering dropped his travel plans last minute. That definitely bummed me out but rather than re-enter the job search I just decided to hold out since this is a good job, convenient location, etc.

So really that is it. I start work on June 29th. The paperwork for the visa is going through processing but I will have to jump out of the country fast to do a visa run, probably Seoul. Domestic life in our small cube is going well even if I don't get to see Keiko but for a couple hours every night. Actually this and last weekend she has been out of town for work, limiting our time together even further. On top of her 9-10 hour days she also only has one day off a week, Wednesday. I need to get out and meet some people but it just isn't happening yet. I think part of that is they way traveling around here can ad up so quickly which discourages me quite a bit, that and the beginning of rainy season, not knowing really where to go, etc. `

Live from Tokyo

2005-05-15T14:20:00.000-04:00

Hello all,

Sorry for the recent disappearance, some computer problems combined with my time in Spain led me to take a bit of a break from the computer which was rather well needed. In fact, I'm going to keep this entry rather short until I get a bit more settled.

Let me just say, it was very hard to leave Spain for multiple reasons not the least of which was that my fear of re-falling in love with the country that was well founded. Out of all the places I have been and aside from my first trip to Austin when I was 15, I can't think of a place that I have felt more at home than that country. Madrid proved to have a lot more life to it that I initially supposed. I was half expecting a business oriented metropolis with the masses walking around in suits for fun. Don't ask me where I developed this idea because I don't really know, I guess I was just not expecting it to have the cultural richness of Barcelona. Even though I was there over two weeks, I can't say that it does, but it is damn close. I saw so much and yet I saw so little of everything there. I was swept away by numerous cheap cups of coffee (Cafe con leche and cortados) at the the ubiquitous street cafes, watching people, reading books and in general enjoying the feeling of being outdoors in the heat. This and wandering around the cavernous streets sucked up most of my time and even though I managed to not step food into a single museum, I regret nothing of how I used my time there. Khanh was an amazing host and besides taking me out to several excellent meals (often courtesy of her company's credit card, name withheld) even managed a trip to the south to Cordoba and a small city that I forget the name of in the Costa del Sol. That part of my trip will stay with me a long while and I know that it is a country I will return to time and time again if not permanently.

So now I find myself in Japan once again. Penniless and jobless everything else is amazing, well, actually it's raining but that is minor. Keiko picked me up at the airport, introduced me to our new home which she won't move into for another couple weeks, Jet-lagged and sleepy eyed we walked around Jiyugaoka beginning our hunt for apartment amenities. This shouldn't take to long. In fact, let me put it into context. Anyone who remembers my last place in Austin with Michelle, well, think of the living room where she fit in two couches and the tv stand and all that? Well, that is the size of our apartment. For anyone who saw my place in Korea, it's maybe a tiny bit bigger, actually probably the same. I'm not sure how we're going to decorate the place yet, minimalism is a must, more than a couple chairs and the place will become unbearably crowded, remember, we're going to have two living here. This will be an interesting experience in many ways, but one I think will be reason for much joy. Joy with a capital J.

Friday was such a blur, rushing to the airport, worried that my luggage would be rejected due to weight, saying goodbye to Khanh, a four and a half hour layover in Munich (by far the best airport I can think of to be stranded in), then a blistering neck cramping 12 hours on the plane to Tokyo where I wasn't able to really sleep at all. Now, on the heals of Spain I find myself sitting in Shubuya Tokyo in a world (city world at least) that quite possibly could not be any more different. The streets are teaming with millions of people, the crosswalk alone must have contained a thousand outside the station, everyone seems under 30 and I walk lost among the people, simply searching for a place to rest. It's not as shocking this time I admit, it surprises even me how many places I've been in the last 4 months and how jumping ship to the opposite of where I've been seems but only a slight bump on a rather natural progression.

Tomorrow will be Monday May 16th. I'll shave, put on my suit and set out to begin looking for jobs as soon as I find a place to print out some resumes. I have no idea where I'll go, where hardly even to start nor do I know if it's a good idea to go fishing for jobs absent a visa or if that could get me into trouble, I guess I'll just have to find out. As for now, I need to leave to go meet Keiko so we can go buy a stove, look at refrigerators and a washing machine. It seems nearly impossible to eat anything under 7 dollars here which means that I need to start cooking ASAP.

oblivious in the streets

2005-05-03T18:24:00.000-04:00

This is not like any of my recent posts, more for me. I promise to post new pictures and whereabouts info soon. Feel free to skip this entry.

Yesterday and today I've talked to almost no one. Khanh is in Paris until tomorrow night and I've sort of been in a solitary mood. I've been engrossed in a book and just a little while ago finished going through it. Part of me feels like I'm wasting some of my time here but another part of me feels that I needed to have some time to myself, just to reflect on my thoughts. The book I was reading was a bit strange. It's a Japanese/British author, Kazuo Ishiguro, but takes place between London and Shanghai before WW II. It tells the story of a boy who whose parents disappeared when they were living in Shanghai when he was 10 years old. He's sent back to London and becomes a detective, and then later in his life returns to Shanghai to try and solve the mystery of his parents vanishing. That is fine and all, but so few details are given about his being a "celebrated detective" and characters are thrown in that are sometimes distracting. Furthermore, he doesn't seem like a true detective. I was sitting in a cafe reading the climax, and he's leading around a Japanese soldier who he thinks is his boyhood friend as troops are advancing through Shanghai. It all seemed so far fetched and his "friend" seemed to show no concrete signs of actually being the person he thought he was making me question the author's validity as a detective. I felt like in the following pages that I would discover that the narrator is in fact delusional and in a mental hospital.

I took a break to walk around, I found myself drifting through the streets, I was listening to Radiohead's "Hail to the Thief" album, and all of a sudden I started to question my surroundings, who I was and what I was doing here, or if in fact I was here at all. It was weird, even dreamlike, possibly because I was blocking out the real sounds of the world with a rather erratic music selection. I felt like when I let my eyes drift up from my moving feet that I found people looking at me in a curious way. I thought that perhaps a bird had lighted on my head and I'd failed to notice causing me to become quite a curiosity as I walked around. As I said, I've really not talked to anyone in two days, haven't seen a soul that I recognize, and as I was meandering through the streets, eventually back to the empty apartment, I just had this strange feeling that either I was crazy and imagining life, or that I was asleep and dreaming and everything around me was just really my imagination and I would awake in the morning to find myself in a different world where none of this was real. Have you ever had those moments? I used to think about it when I was younger. I mean, dreams don't really have a sense of time. Have you ever had a dream that seemed like it went on for days, months, even years only to find yourself wake up and see you've only been asleep for an hour or less? Have you ever thought (I used to think this sometimes when I was younger) that most or all of your life is actually one really long dream and that you might wake up at any minute, find yourself like 12 years old and forced to relive the the next 17 years of your life all over again? I know I still have dreams, you might even call them nightmares, where I find myself forced to return to high school because I didn't complete a math class for some reason. I suppose that might be my own personal version of hell, forced to return to high school as a student at 28 for a math class that now I have no recollection of since I haven't used Algebra or most forms of higher math in the last 10 years. When I have those dreams I always have to wake and remind myself that it's not real, only a dream. I think I hate those even more than "real" nightmares, the normal scary ones which I usually don't have very often.

Anyway, that aside from a trip to the grocery store, this was more or less my day. I sit now on the terrace that has demanded so much of my time here in Madrid, contemplating what to read or write next. It feels good to really be reading again, I have more to think about, I feel more inspired, I feel more alive. The only thing is that when I get in these moods, I tend to turn myself off from the outside world as my hermit like quality of the last few days show, but sometimes I need it.

they're all on bikes

2005-04-20T05:00:00.000-04:00

Pictures of Amsterdam HERE
Pictures of Berlin HERE
Pictures of Copenhagen HERE

They're all on bikes. Some wearing skirts while others in suits, some having a baby in front or behind, they're not allowed to have their partner ride sidesaddle on the back or really have two people on the bike at all unless it's a tandem, but regardless, they're all on bikes. There is traffic too in the well maintained bike lanes raised up a couple inches above the car lanes that run beside. The stop lights sometimes have a secondary light with a bicycle above to make sure the people, bikes and cars all cooperate. While beautiful, it's also a bit surreal for a city that sees only a few hours of light per day during the winter months and sits next to the North Sea on the west and Sweden just a 20 kilometer train ride to the east. Even though the snow is only periodic, the wind can knock people over when it pours off those firgid bodies of water. As much as I love my bike, I couldn't imagine riding it during that time of year, but then again, it would be pretty brutal to walk as well.

So, welcome to Copenhagen Denmark. I've been here since last Friday and am staying till this Saturday with Celeste and until yesterday her husband as well. You know, I'm not entirely sure if it's the city itself or just being back with a couple close friends that makes me feel so comfortable here. I've lived with Celeste twice and Christopher once back in Austin and now here we all are under the same roof again and even though one of us is on the floor and the other the couch, it feels uncannily like we're back home (if Austin had 6th floor apartments with no elevators). Really, yes it is expensive here and I'm not really doing much that costs money because of it, but there is something here they seem to have figured out. I'd be very tempted to move here if given the opportunity although I do admit that the weather scares the hell out of me.

Today we rented bicycles and went through the town a little and then wandering through the national cemetery which is really more like a park. Knotted old trees hang over aged gravestones, some markers towering a couple meters in the air. Hans Christian Anderson is buried there which is one of the most famous people from this small country. But the cemetery/park was nice. Visiting a place for the dead, on this scale at least, as a tourist has always made me feel a little strange but here it is something entirely different. People running, walking and holding hands, there was even a small family having a picnic and a little girl about 3 or 4 had made one grave her personal play area with her dolls while her older sisters were learning to rollerblade on the path next to her. As I saw all this life around, I started to feel that we in fact had it a bit wrong. I'm unsure about the ideas of spirits and anything really once we die, but I like to think that burial places are not made as spaces for permanent mourning and death. If anything, I think they should be places where life is celebrated. Not by some gaudy shopping district running along it's perimeter or carnival style rides inside, but having it be a place that people actually use for "life" seems right. In this way, it's a celebration of life past and current. It is also the case that more people probably see these graves than in most places ensuring that the names of these people might last longer than they do in most countries. Death is not meant to always be a time/place of mourning, instead, let those places we bury people be a celebration of life and a place where we can help keep their memories with us as long as possible.

More soon.

Amsterdamming (a week late)

2005-04-16T08:11:00.000-04:00

There is so much to say and I've been really irregular about writing lately. This has been a really good past week in all ways except for money. Let me start off by getting into what I forgot to write about earlier.

Last Saturday myself, Christopher, Andre and Dirk (Germans) and Dirk's girlfriend Camilla (Polish) drove up to Amsterdam for 24 hours. Although the weather, never my friend it seems, wasn't as amazing as we had hoped, the town itself has a lot of beauty. And it is so amazing to be able to drive 3 hours and cross the border into another country and not even have to stop at a border. We just drove through and waved goodbye to Germany as we crossed over into the Netherlands. You hardly would even know there was a border aside from a couple small signs. We drove in and after parking (24 Hours = 43 Euros or @ 50+ USD) finally started to walk around 4. We ate and then ventured down to a Saturday flea market that seemed more like an entire square filled with resale shops. Had I more money and it had not been pissing rain in cold weather, I might have gotten more into it. Definitely something that I could enjoy more on a sunny day. Afterward we checked into a shady little hostel/hotel and tried to think about to do for the evening.

The Dutch are not really known for their food, in fact trying to find a description of typical Dutch food was sort of hard to come by. The cheeses, breads, apple pies and herring was about all I could find out. We had walked through a little Chinatown earlier in the evening and after reading about a restaurant in the travel guide and a local paper we decided on that. Good hole in the wall style place and good food.

Now, the big motivation for most people to go to Amsterdam is obviously the drugs and/or sex, or at least seeing the red-light district even if you don't participate. And I too admit that I was curious in seeing these things, but aside from just seeing another beautiful city, I really wanted to see my friend Troy who had just moved to the city a couple months ago. This was a shocking surprise that I learned about via mass email when I was in Thailand. It seems that my friends and acquaintances from back home are moving abroad, often for love, at a surprising rate. He (like Celeste who I'll get to later) met a Dutch girl while she was in town for SXSW last year. After a year of globe trotting and courting he packed all his stuff on a pallet and moved Amsterdam 2 months ago. Anyway, Troy and Merit met us outside the Chinese restaurant and took us to a nice little local pub around the corner.

Troy and I have never been super close, we worked together briefly every one day a week back home but we've always gotten along. Great guy regardless, always able to summarize life's little problems in a comedic and concise way. he seemed to have an enjoyment for life that I sometimes envied. I just can't say how lucky this guy is (actually several of my friends these days) because Merit, his girlfriend is awesome as well. We sat down and I immediately felt comfortable talking to her. She's really a musician but is doing a straight office job at the moment to appease the legal requirements for getting Troy into the country. I only had a few hours with the 2 of them but I look forward to going back and spending more time just hanging out, riding bikes, drinking and enjoying their little corner of paradise (but hopefully in the summer).

Well, when in Rome, right? Merit at our groups request brought us to one of the more local "coffee-houses". She, as from what I gathered applies to most Dutch, doesn't really smoke pot. It's considered more of a juvenile thing there and is a source of mild jocular frustration between her and Troy. Anyway this place sort of has a low lit bar feel to it. There is really nothing seedy about it. In fact, most of these places don't serve alcohol just coffee, juices and teas. There is a second bar at the back that has a pot menu like a wine list. Yes, it's all true, it's just like you've read in other places and I'm not going to spend too much time going over thins people have already heard about. I mean, it's not technically "legal", it's just not enforced and in general as long as you're over 18 it's not that big of deal. So, you buy your selection, pre-rolled or in bag and sit back and do your thing. And honestly, except for it being a bit crowded, it's a really laid back place to hang out if you don't find the small undesirable (I sort of like the smell, reminds me of music festivals and rock shows at Liberty Lunch). That was more or less our evening in Amsterdam as afterwards we all headed back to the hotel and crashed out, a bit wet and cold. Oh, one last thing. Turns out that for the coffee house we were at was actually used in in the movie Oceans 12. I haven't seen it, but Troy said there is some scene where Matt Damon is in a bar/cafe and that is the bar they used. What do ya know? I'm still irritated that I didn't run into LL Cool J who was in Prague filming, damn shame.

The following day we went to the sex museum which was not nearly as kitschy as I was expecting and is worth an hour browsing around the all the toys, art and videos and history of everyone's favorite pastime. At my request, we headed over to the Van Gough museum but we were not fully prepared for it's popularity. There was an hour long line outside the door which scared us off, that too will have to wait. Browsing around, coffee, venturing into random shops completed more or less our time in Amsterdam and we headed back to the car to admire the mixture of beautiful scenery including the most amazing car dealerships (VW, Mini, Mercedes, BMW, Audi dominate) interspersed with small farms, wind turbines and the occasional office building striking the landscapes and commanding them in their crazy modern way.

from Cologne to Amsterdam and back again

2005-04-10T18:15:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone, first pictures from Germany HERE

Well, I apologize about the extremely long period without writing. Been traveling with company and have not had enough time to sit down and think about the last week. I flew out of Prague a week ago Tuesday and arrived in Cologne to cloudy weather. I had about 6 hours to kill while I waited for Christopher to get in, what I didn't know is that wouldn't happen until the following afternoon. Turns out he missed the plane due to some miscommunication in France and ended up sleeping on an airport floor and then hopping a train from Paris to here. I called his friends whom we were staying with and they were kind enough to fill me in on the details and pick me up after I started to worry that I was going to have no place to stay in a foreign country. But that didn't happen.

I'm still feeling out this city. I think I like the Germans though, life seems a bit more worth celebrating here than it did in Prague even though the latter city wins in terms of sheer beauty. Everyone I've come into contact with has been precisely helpful. The precision and orderly thing seems to be pretty true here. I mean, there is not doubt they enjoy life, but it seems seldom like there is a moment without a plan. Christopher and I on the other hand have been traveling for a bit now and have honestly enjoyed just taking a break and relaxing to some degree. We did briefly go into the "Dome" or the main cathedral here in town that announces itself from every angle when coming into the city and is amazing. I stopped in briefly during my 6 hours of independent exploration on Tuesday but decided to leave the long part of the tour for when Christopher arrived and we could do it together. When I went, The Pope had just passed and there was a procession of people coming up and paying their respects which I observed from afar.

Speaking of the recent event, Germans I've met (and I think a large part of Europe) are mixed about the importance of the church. The Cathedral steps where in the middle of a large amount of repairs, and I think this included some taxpayer money as it is the top visited landmark in the country, all in preparation for a visit from the Pope. Many Catholics here, like Catholics in the rest of the world (at least Europe and middle-class Americans), are really Easter Catholics. Meaning that they usually show up at church only a couple times a year, namely Easter and Christmas. I can understand to a degree some of the skepticism to an institution that seems at times archaic and in recent years has scarred itself horribly. But then for me, who never was a Catholic but admired it from afar because it seemed like such an anachronism in this modern world, here they are, working on getting food to developing nations, sometimes the only peace brokers in corrupt countries, all these things that I admire along with providing hope to millions of people. In comparison, although admittedly Catholics often choose to not participate in difficult questions of faith (at least with me), I seldom ever feel judged the way I have from protestants or more precisely, American evangelicals. So yes, I disagree with Vatican laws that forbid marriage in the clergy, having female bishops and cardinals (are priests allowed?), and its refusal to reinterpret views towards homosexuality and worst of all, their continued obstinance toward condom use, but overall, I don't think this church is the religion of the Spanish Inquisition. Pope John Paul I think did lot to encourage positive and constructive uses of the church, and for this, I respect the man. May he rest in peace and his successor be someone who can further modernize the institution.

But, enough about that. Back to Cologne. We're staying with old friends of Christopher. A couple he met 7 years ago when Jasmine was doing a study abroad in Austin. I've actually met her and her (now) husband, Andre, during that time as well but only briefly. I do have memories of admiring her accent and her waking up on our living room couch/bed way back at that house in Austin near... What was the name of that pub on... near Upper Crust Bakery.... shit, I can't remember. It has been, well, 7 years, an age pounding fact that is not lost on me. Yes, it was a long time ago. Anyway, their back home now, starting their life and about to start their family in another 5 months and were kind enough to put us up and show us around. They both work so in some regards we're on our own, but their always ready with suggestions. And well, we haven't done much. We've looked in some of the shops, gone cafe exploring and have yet to make it to a museum or a second visit to the Dome, which both should be resolved by our departure on Tuesday.

Andre did manage to get us out on a whirlwind tour of the Cologne nightlife last Friday. We started by visiting a historic Kirsch bar that seemed to grow as you entered through the doors. Well lit, with lots of wood brass and glasses clinking, people of every drinking age imaginable sat in every available space, sipping down the local variety of beer that is usually brewed in house, served in small straight glasses, and chomped down on local fare. The Beer (kirsch) is good, I think, but I'm not much of a beer drinker and further from an expert. I was more intrigued by what appeared to be raw ground beef served on hearty bread with onions being eaten by the table immediately to my left. We had eaten a lot earlier and Christopher, a recovering vegetarian, wasn't much up for it. But, if I get the chance before I leave, I'll get back to everyone with that experience.

From the traditional bar we moved onto a low-key lounge where the energy and age levels settled into a vicinity that we had a bit more in common with. It was a small bar, warm low lights, low seats with a lounge feel encouraged by the music. We had another Kirsch, I was forced to order in memorized two words of German and moved on once more. For a city its size (1.8 Mil), this city really has a lot to offer. I guess that shouldn't be too much of a surprise as much as I rave about Austin with it's mere 650K habitants and it's offerings. Then again, we don't have this monumental feature that cuts through the skyline like a knife like the Dome here. Regardless, this city has a lot going on of which, well, of which I've seen about 1%.

After the lounge, we went to a rock club called "Underground". It was basically Emo's mixed with a bit of Elisium except people were drinking Kirsch and dancing to music that had no business being danced to. I mean, New Wave and all that has it's dancing place, but these guys in one room were dj'ing like Marilyn Manson style stuff to a dance floor. Even the locals seemed unsure of how to react to it and I'm sure a lot of them are there every weekend. Waiting out in the courtyard though, with the sound in the background like a loud show I'm taking a break from, I felt like I was back in Austin. I felt like I was definitely going to run into someone I knew. Had I not been so tired from getting up early, it very likely could have happened, who knows. But, as the case was, I was tired so we went home a bit early and crawled into bed around 2.

And we wanted to get home early, because the following day we were going to Amsterdam. And Amsterdam is where we went, but I'll have to write that tomorrow because I'm too tired at the moment.

last days in Prague

2005-04-10T17:56:00.000-04:00

I'm going to keep this short, first of all, pictures HERE

I'll miss Prague, I feel like my goodbyes to the city were not appropriate and that I was just beginning to get comfortable with a new friend when life pulled me away. I want to say thanks to Annie and Randy who took us out to a caravan they rent on the outskirts of the city and had a bonfire and BBQ for us all. It was a great night and I hope to stay in contact with all these kids who were so great.

The following day, I said my impromptu goodbyes to the city. Went to the post office, wandered around near the Castle/Cathedral again, finally went inside but again showed up too late for the long tour and missed a lot of it, a mistake that I will not make when I eventually return not alone and fully funded. Ahh, what you miss having such a short life to live.

The course is over, thank you Oxford Tefl, you guys did a great job even though I only got a B. Good luck David in Syria (yes Syria), Good luck Sean and Mali in your brief foray into Hong Kong, may the school be there waiting open arms with lots of students upon your return.

incident on the subway

2005-03-22T06:11:00.000-05:00

Anyway, I was on the subway tonight and had a moment that made me want to get back a different country soon. I was carrying around my backpack, a big 5L bottle of water and 2 bags of groceries on the subway when I looked over and saw this man bleeding from his the top of his shaved head, his nose and his knuckles. I felt a bit scared at first and then a bit of pity. I had no idea what had happened, there was no sign of a fight when I got on the subway and it looked like 2 women were trying to talk to him, likely trying help as he held a tissue to his head and the packet in with his other bleeding hand. He was wobbling a bit as he stood. I wasn't sure if he was drunk or just acting strangely because of being beaten. The whole situation made me feel sick. There are a lot of homeless people here, something I haven't really dealt with in a while. Perhaps a little in Thailand but they were a different type, there, the whole country is poor but I don't remember there being many beggars or drunks stumbling around at all hours of the day.

But, as I was looking down, attempting to distract myself with my Japanese flash-cards, trying not to look over to where the man was beginning to talk loudly as he bled, I just thought of how I didn't see so much of this in Japan or Korea. And I did feel sorry for him. He wasn't old, probably around 30 give or take a year. He wasn't dressed conspicuously or anything, just sort of normal with a flannel shirt and jacket, but his hair looked like it had been shaved a couple week ago, meaning it was just starting to grow out, which made me suspicious. I've seen a few skinheads here and heard of some attacks against people and some racism directed against some immigrants, evidently the Vietnamese are sometimes targets. Some are ok I know, but the full on racists, the kind that look to Hitler as a hero, well, I needless to say have no sympathy for. Well, this man stumbled off with the help of one of the women a couple stops before mine and I was selfishly thankful. But then, as he was walking past the subway car, he walks up to the window where this older man is sitting with a fedora hat, and yells something that I can only imagine as "something Jew". I don't know any Czech, but as in any language, some words always sound a bit alike. I looked at the man with the hat, an unusual hat for Prague but not uncommon for some Jewish people. He was sitting with his back to where the bleeding man was the entire time and probably never even saw him. Then he is yelled at, for no reason, than the fact that he may be Jewish.

This problem is not unique to Prague, it's a problem in many parts of Europe, the US, the world really. Poverty exists here because it used to be a Communist country and it's still going through the growing pains of capitalism (positive connotation not intended). There is a small class of very rich and lots of people who live normal simple lives. All the nice restaurants, cafes, stores and such that have popped up over the last 20 years are more for the tourists, not the local Czech people who really can't afford it. I mean, things have improved overall since the Communist period, but sometimes you can feel the resentment towards the foreigners who they view as having so much money. I don't know, it was a difficult situation that has been stuck in my head most of the evening. I know that there will be many things about Japan that will frustrate me, other things that I simply don't like, but at least when I was there I didn't see the poverty and I don't think it exists like it does in so many "modern" countries, like my own. That is one thing I have a lot of respect for.

in the mood for love

2005-03-19T13:11:00.000-05:00

Yes, I'm in school, the fact that I'm in Prague is extremely secondary. It's unfortunate but it's the truth. The course has been keeping me that busy and I have to watch the money on any extracurricular activities, I just don't have any. So if anyone wants to donate, or more precisely loan, any money to the international "buy Corbett a sandwich fund" please email directly.

Just to prove how small a world this is, I have to mention what happened last weekend. Not only did I approach a stranger on a hunch and end up setting up free informal Japanese lessons twice a week but the following day, at the same cafe I walk in and stare in shock at a lovely young girl I met back in Austin last year. Yes Nicole, you get your props. She, in the course of a few hours, took me to more places and told me more about this city than I had learned my entire week here. Although we've yet to be able to hang out again, I'm very much looking forward to it. Also, for any of my buddies back home in the education world, she's looking for a private/charter school type of gig for when she returns. Helluva intelligent girl, anyone should feel lucky to have the opportunity to work with her. So, if anyone is need of some English teachers, please let me know so I can put you in contact with her. I don't want to forget about Rachel either who is on holiday from Austin as well. Thanks for giving me probably my most enjoyable night out in the city.

Honestly guys, I'm not feeling terribly inspired at the moment. I've got a huge "Learner Analysis" that is haunting my bag that I've only just begun on. I mean, it's not due for another week, so it's not the end of the world but I've got to pile through the main part this weekend. Perhaps tonight it will give me an excuse to stay in and not spend any money.

The highlight of my week has to be my second watching of "In the Mood for Love". For all of you who have never seen it, do yourself a favor, curl up with no one and fall into this film. It's like peeking in to these beautiful people's lives. The shots of Maggie Cheung in these vibrant, perfectly fitted dresses with splashes of color matching the tea cup she's holding which in turn matches the plant set outside the window. I could watch the scenes of the two main characters walking up down the stairs to the noodle shop for hours, the music is so amazing, it's just like a small poem captured on the screen. I can only imagine though, that in some ways the visuals and the love of the time period in Hong Kong can only be a bit of fairy tale in the way Amelie was for Paris. And damn 2046 for not coming out at the right time or language during my travels!

So yes, not that exciting of an entry. Last bit of news. I fly into Cologne Germany on April 5th. I leave from Berlin to Copenhagen on April 15th and return to Berlin on the 22nd. I'll be booking my ticket to Madrid from Berlin very soon. Anyone who knows people in those places who I should meet or hang out with let me know. I'm already planning on seeing Isaac in Berlin, Celeste in CHP and Christopher in Cologne (he might be coming along with me to Denmark as well). I'll post some more picts as soon as I have them, the camera has been taking a long rest in my bag of late.

much love,

-c.

alive from Prague

2005-03-12T13:22:00.000-05:00

First picts to prague and a link to my last Greece picts HERE

Well guys, I'm her step 29434 on my travels. I can't say I have much to report on Prague. Yes, there are cobblestone streets that must be hell on a bicycle, grey skies, gruff people, lots of work with the course, unmarked subway systems, streets that seem oddly desolate other than the surprising amount of cigarette bummers, an absence of children, snow, prices that aren't friendly against the US dollar, snow, lots of work, a radiator in my flat that doubles as a clothes drier, lots of balding people in my life, work, wine, etc, etc.

So really, I got into Prague after an absurd flight from Athens that took me first to London and dropped me in this winter hell at 9 pm that night and left to my own devices to find my way to the student house, which I did dragging my 30 Kilo bag along ice and snow covered sidewalks to get to leaving two nice parallel tracks behind my frigid footsteps. I was welcomed by Stefan, the house manager who showed me to my room, all the other kiddies were out to the welcoming dinner which I missed. After unpacking my clothes, (ohh my god! I have a closet!) I was about to go wander around when the others walked in. It's a nice but small mix. 3 Brits, 4 Americans (including Nandos the 1/2 Greek, 1/2 American, all New Yorker) and one Aussie named Jill who is the only other with some teaching experience. I have to say though I feel pretty lucky, the other three who I share the house with (it's hard to describe) are really cool and I have nothing but positive things to say about them. After a bit of chit-chat, Tom, one of the brits, agreed to accompany me to a pub where I could wind down for the first time all day at midnight. Not much of a place and the two drunk Czech men whose beard were tickling their lap as they were falling asleep with enormous glasses of half-filled beers were threatened to be tipped over by dormant hands, gave us a bit of the creeps. We stayed for one beer.

The next day, it was off to the races. School starts at 11 every day and we all had no idea really what to expect. As my battery is running extremely low, I'll keep it brief, but there is a lot of work and we started teaching our first classes to adult Czech students on Weds. I was little better prepared by simply having taught before as my nerves weren't wound up to explode like most others. It's slightly a throw you to the fire atmosphere, but nothing like it was in Korea. I've gotten more feedback on my teaching in this one week than I did my entire week back home. There is no doubt in my mind that I'm going to walk away from this experience in a much better teacher than I went in. The instructors, all from the UK, are great, dryly humorous honest yet supportive. There is al of work, a lot of analysis and a lot of writing of reports but I think I see the benefit of it all.

But to be real with everyone, my heart isn't in Europe at the moment, it's stuck in Japan. Keiko is there and I'm anxious to get back. The food I used to love, I still do, but I find myself craving lighter fare. The cafes are great but I'll willingly trade them off for a shoebox sized apartment with an address I can't read. I'm distracting myself with the course and working hard but honestly I'm just ticking off days until May when I hope I'll be able to get back to Japan. I've still got plans to make it to Germany, Denmark and Spain, but those will be brief at best and ways to say hellos and goodbyes. I feel like part of me is missing and when I'm walking to the streets alone it's not even with a feeling of solace, but one of absence. I'm repeating the conversations I spoke so highly of only recently. I want to be in one place again, to have a home, to have one place to look forward to, to have one person. All this awaits me as soon as the apartment is signed away and my ticket bought. I'll make it home to the US without a doubt, but for now my craving is for miso soup and that tiny person who fits so nicely named Keiko.

Ok, enough of my sentimental babbling, I'll write a real update about this town as soon as I figure out a damn thing beyond how to make it from Subway to school and back.

Greece Update

2005-03-03T21:08:00.000-05:00

First off, all praise to the new Trail of Dead album, which with a mix of The Kills, old The Refused, The Make-Up and Snow Patrol are getting me through this town where uber-hip electronic dominates. It's not that it's bad at all, it's just that as I have always found, throw me in a situation where one things takes precedent, I desire the opposite. Maybe that is part of my past romantic problems...

ANYWAY!!! Here I am. I've done a lot of the touristy things and pictures should be up as soon as I can get my computer connected. I've taken to drinking brandy when I can afford it and this town is ultimately treating me rather well. Everyone smokes everywhere and men only shave when they feel like it. On Monday I climbed up the Acropolis and was able to to see the pinnacle of traveling monuments, the Parthenon. Unfortunately, it is under heavy restoration right now and not only can you not walk inside it all, you are essentially kept several meters away and about a fifth of the structure has been disassembled. Evidently this has been going on for a quite a few years and I shouldn't feel bad thinking that this was a post-olympics phenomenon.

Acropolis essentially means, top, or most important place (not really top, the locations were selected largely for their proximity to water sources) and is not a term limited to Athens at all. All ancient Grecian cities had their acropolis, albeit this, during it's time, stood well above them all in magnificence. But, here the Acropolis consists of three main structures and then several other smaller ones mostly at the bottom of the mountain. On the top is the Temple of Athena and of course, the Parthenon. The third structure is a temple and doubles as a gate into the fortress itself, but I don't recall the name. Largely due to the state of disrepair of the Parthenon, the Temple to Athena proved more impressive. Actually, partly due to the nasty weather and it not being high tide for tourists, there were very few people. When I wandered around the temple there was only me and a couple of middle-aged American women whom I was careful not to speak around fearing inquiry. But, it is one of the more complete structures even though as I found out, all 6 of the Athena figures acting as columns are in fact replicas while 5 of the originals sit inside a British museum and the 6th in a Greek. So be it though, still very impressive just to witness a structure that is (mostly) over 2000 years old and still standing for the most part hinting at its past glory.

Below sits the Theater of Dionysis and the Theater of **** along with several other spots still under excavation and reconstruction. One of the interesting aspects to everything is the fact that you are essentially in the middle of an active archeological site which is one of the most important in Western history. The two theaters below were also magnificent. The ** has been almost completely restored but was blocked off from public access (big surprise). But, I was told that during the summer that it is actually and active venue for performances. The theater of Dionysis is still being excavated and reconstructed but you are free to wander around the seating area which is really powerful. I was fortunate enough to sit down when a group of British high school tourists were checking it out with a couple of their teachers. One of them gave a couple monologues behind the stage area (the stage itself is the only part that is off limits) bus surely enough, all that stuff they taught us in grade school was true. The acoustics are fabulous and even though you're sitting quite far off, and without that benefit of a backing wall, you can hear quite well when things are spoken in a theater volume. When you're traveling and sightseeing alone, occasionally it is beneficial to mooch off the explanation and excitement of others. I do have to mention that, with recent experience, I dodged the group of Korean tourists for fear of being run down or having an umbrella lodged in my skull at the first drop of imminent rain. Will Korean obliviousness be my most lasting memory of that country?

Tuesday was shit. Aside from the dreary weather, the museum I tried to go to was closed as most are in Athens on Tuesday (this happens to me a lot). I wandered around a district that was way too expensive for my taste (or my pocketbook) finally landing in a mediocre internet cafe and then venturing back home to read. Yesterday I rectified that, going to the National Cemetery with Katerina in the morning where she laid flowers down on her families tomb. That may sound like a bit of a strange destination for a tourist but it was really powerful. The monuments, and there is really no better way to describe the tombs for the more important people buried there, are extremely impressive. I'm not entirely sure of the Greek Orthodox burial practices and Katerina wasn't able to explain it to me as much as I would have liked, but these are graves for multiple people and there is no way they could fit coffins in there the way we do in America. Cremation is against the religion so that is out of the question but we did venture into a building holding the remains of many people who for some reason have not been laid to rest. The remains were in metal boxes about the size of three shoe boxes. So, to me, it seems that there might be partial cremation, I'm still unsure about it all.

After the rather morose introduction to the day, I ventured to my Tuesday destination and successfully made it into the most established private historical museum in Athens, The Bernaki. I was determined to get my 6 Euros out of the experience after having been delayed a day and the weather being such utter shit outside. In doing so, I spent about 1 and a half hours on the first floor alone. The whole museum is ordered chronologically which meant that I started off with the Neolithic period and by then end up of it ended up with the introduction of Christianity into Greece in the first few centuries of the first Millennium. Having forgot, I admit, so much of what I learned in grade school, it was quite an educational and impressive experience. This is part of the reason I moved at a snails pace trying to soak in so many of the things that have parted my mind from lack of use. A lot of the exhibition, understandably focused on ceramics, sculpture and jewelry, the most easily preserved of man's original creations. There were only two small problems that arose, one begetting the other. First, as is most of the historic venues here, the floors are of marble. Nice to look at, hell on the feet, even in tennis shoes. I found myself squatting (and thus straining my neck as the sign-age was usually at chest level) at every opportunity by the time I reached the end of the first floor. The museum was laid out quite well and extremely dense, it took me almost 2 hours to complete the first floor as at least two tour groups lapped me in my first hour. By the time I made it, back aching to the second floor, I knew I needed a break. I skimmed the second floor with the intention of returning after I had a coffee and cigarette at the cafe above. Unfortunately after that weather shattered moment (it is quite a worthwhile cafe on the third floor with an amazing terrace) I was just about to pick up where I left off when a security guard (what the hell is there formal name anyway?) pointed to his watch and said "closing". Sure enough, closed on Tuesdays, close early at 5 on Wednesdays.

This reminded me of the fiasco of the previous day. I forgot to mention that before admitting defeat and returning home, I ventured to the National Library, thinking it would be a really nice site and furthermore I could knock out the work I needed to do for my class in a rather classic setting. Well, I walked into the main reading room with no one really batting an eye. I saw no sign prohibiting bags or cameras. I took a couple shots (no flash, and I was discreet) before the Patron Saint of Libraries walked up to me and said something in Greek. Noticing my befuddlement, he immediately switched to English and said, "Can I help you." Getting in reply to this a further look of bewilderment as to how I should answer (I had been sitting all of 30 seconds) he says, "come with me" as to which I said, "hell no, back off old man. I didn't do anything". Actually, I didn't say that, I just bowed my head and followed like the dog that got caught peeing on mom's favorite couch. Then, in minimalist English they explained that I could "look into the room" from the hall, but I couldn't go in. This I did, to save face and play the game, but I had actually got one good shot of the reading room before I was apprehended. Unfortunately, it doesn't really do justice to the ancient text that you could see crumbling before your eyes behind immense ladders and faded wooden desks. A worthwhile momentary adventure. When in doubt play stupid and you'll get further than you might if you played it straight.

Ok, I'll stop here but I have more to tell. I have to meet Katerina in a bit and we're going to see (I think) the Vatican of the Greek Orthodox Church. Today marks the last night of eating meat before Easter (is that Lent? Things are different in this version...) and evidently this is the half-way point and big night for costuming for Carnival. Should be interesting if I can keep the kids out past bedtime.

it's all greek to me

2005-03-01T09:01:00.000-05:00

Well I'm here, tired from walking god knows how much under overcast skies that seem to be following me around of late. When I think back to my brief time in Paris, when I did the Eiffel tower I remember that not only was it overcast, but like the buildings of the Acropolis today, were also under construction.

Even though I was listening to Japanese music as I rode the train into town today, I was easily reminded of the qualities in Europe that I like. Everyone smoke, people are less inhibited about expressing themselves and argue with a gentle banter. After leaving Asia, the land of being reserved unless drunk, this place is like a blessing in many ways. But let me not get too far ahead of myself.

I arrived Saturday morning on a plane from Thailand, which must have contained like half of a junior class from some Greek university. Every time I woke from my disjointed sleep there were people walking up and down the isles, hovering over chairs in an unusually festive manner for a 10-hour flight. But it went off without any major problems; immigration asked no questions about my lack of a return flight and moments later Katerina was greeting me with a hug to drive me home.

Her parents live in a beautiful country house about 30 minutes outside the city but still accessible by bus and train (light rail really). Actually, it's probably less than a country house than it was 60 years ago when it was built due to some development but is still amazing. Mediterranean in style, it sits on a rather large piece of land by American standards and there were no less than three "village" gardeners pruning and cutting away at the varied growth in preparation for the spring. One very much caught my attention. A man probably in his 60's or at least that is how life had treated his face, with this large white, billowy even, mustache hiding the greater proportion of his mouth. If he is there tomorrow (it's Monday as I write this) I'll try to get a good picture. The lines of his face, deep-set eyes tell a story all their own and one that I at present don't have the words to describe. The house itself is two stories with wide marble steps that lead up to the second floor and main entrance. I have to admit my confusion at first coming into the house and trying to find my way around. Everything is of immaculate construction; it has the beauty that is mimicked in America but with a lasting quality rarely found anymore. She is not rich, but probably upper-middle class by Greek standards and the house has been owned by her mother's family for some time from what I've gathered. Anyway, it is an amazing place to come to and be able to call home for this week.

Her family is equally amazing. Katerina is working both a little in Greece and in Patras, the city she attended university, working in speech pathology working with both children and adults with various speech impediments. This keeps her rather busy and she had to work a bit the first day I arrived. It has been so long since I've been in a family environment having met none of my friends families in Korea that I was a little nervous at first. But, her mother quickly set me at ease having a similar nature as Katerina and made me feel comfortable quite quickly. She also happens to be an English teacher and I've obviously had no problems communicating. We all sat and talked while eating a homemade spinach pie and pieces of an enormous block of feta cheese that almost brought me to tears along with the glass of wine I got to drink in the afternoon. Katerina went off to work for a couple hours while I continued to talk with her mother, a great start to this new country. Her father seems like an equally amazing person but isn't very confident speaking in English so thus far I've not been able to talk with him as much as I would like. He looks and acts far younger than his 72 years and I was very surprised to learn that was his age. Katerina says that since his retirement as a mechanical engineer he's spent a lot of time in the kitchen and a bit meeting his friends for talk and Ouzo. I have to say I'm extremely thankful for all of them taking me into their home and treating me so well. It's helped make this a great couple of days.

Saturday and Sunday ultimately were rather lazy days. Saturday night I went out and met Katerina's friend Dimitris who was really a great guy and I hope to meet him again. We started out with coffee at one of the ubiquitous fashionable European coffee houses. We ventured through I don't know how many different subjects but spent a healthy amount of time on the EU, what it meant to Greece, Europe, the US and the implications of it's recent expansion, Turkey and god knows what else. I have to say that I was just happy to be talking about these kind of things again. I've said before that I thought a part of my head was slowly being turned being stranded in Korea and Saturday night acted as a much needed wake up call until exhaustion and time difference got the better of me and I fell asleep in the car ride home. Sunday ultimately was a slower version of Saturday with Katerina present the entire day. I overslept causing me to sleep to much and have a difficult time waking up the entire day. In the late afternoon, after a lunch of stuffed cabbage, stuffed zucchini, olives from the family estate and more wine, we went off to meet more friends at another coffee house. Actually, there is little alternative as most places shut down on Sunday entirely. I had another moment that reminded me I was in Europe, looking around at this New York-esque lounge/bar/coffee house and realizing that I was probably the worst dressed in the place (or perhaps the one in the least amount of black), welcome to Europe, I wish I had money to go shopping. Speaking of which, I want to say thanks one more time to a couple of friends who have helped me out on that issue, and no I'm not buying clothes and I didn't hit up the red-light districts in Bangkok. I've decided to use all the money on drugs instead. j/j unless you count nicotine and caffeine.

It's Monday and I've just finished my first day of sightseeing but before getting it all down I'm going to take a rest and let it all sink in. As soon as I can get my computer connected I'll try to post up some pictures. Unfortunately, this is one of the least connected countries in the Western world so it might prove to be a little while, most people here still have dial up at the house. For the moment, I'll watch the passersby of this little cafe and continue to listen to Bright Eyes singing "glory" with the sound of Backgammon dice penetrating my headphones in the background.

time to escape paradise

2005-02-23T08:25:00.000-05:00

I tried to make an escape today, but the lackadaisical atmosphere sucked me. I wanted to leave mid-afternoon but they were just going to make me pay for another night if I did that, so it goes.

I've been on vacation now for 2 1/2 weeks and I think I've just about reached my threshold. Money issues aside, it's just difficult for me not to be working. I just seem to do better when my time is occupied and my free time subsequently more valuable leading to me using it better. I've always accredited my having better grades to when I'm working one or more jobs on top of school. Well, I've got about two weeks left roughly. I'll make it back to Bangkok and try not to spend very much money, the following day I'll catch up on laundry and then get a cap in the late evening to the airport. I'm not entirely sure how long my flight will be to Greece with the time zones and all that. I'm estimating about 11 hours so I'm hoping to stay awake the first few, drink the free drinks and then try to crash out. As it's a late night plane, and I've yet to meet a single Greek here, I might get lucky and there might not be too many people on the plane.

We've run into people who have been here for months. Sleeping through life in this tropical environment likely forgetting about the world and what goes on entirely. I hesitate to think that they may not have even heard about the Tsunami, Bush's re-election, Arafat's death or anything of semi-importance. They seem too wrapped up in mastering their fire-dancing and shagging (damn the Brits and their influence!) the newcomers, enjoying those temporary relationships that can only happen when on holiday no matter how long that holiday may be. I shouldn't fault them though. There are young Israeli men who have just finished their mandatory military service who are trying to escape the hell that they have had to endure for two years. Lots of kids enjoying a few weeks or months of abandonment before being pushed into the mediocrity of the modern working world who will revel in their memories of this place that are tattooed on their bodies for years to come. Then there are the surviving hippy minded people, clad in braids, dreads, and piercings with bronzed bodies who have given up entirely on the rest of the world and have etched out their own simple existence here which leaves little to be desired and caused harm to no one. I guess it's a mixture of admiration and resentment that I've been guilty of just about everywhere in my life every time I paused to look out a window or down the street. At one point I want to be the person who finds something simple in life and digs deep inside to find that soft place, usually in the company of someone else and returns to the world only on occasions to smile and express how they have this little piece of heaven just to themselves. I think those people are rather few, but most people passing through the streets like to think that is what they are after. I'd probably get lost trying to find that if I tried. In fact, what I just said is a little misleading, I guess what I was trying to get at was a "simple-life" and somehow it changed into some mixture that maybe I am really looking for. The other half of me though, thinks that I will be an utter failure unless I do at least one thing that at least resembles greatness. This is probably the biggest source of fear in my life. What could that be and is either attainable (for me) or really important? Or, am I capable of doing something great, whatever that might be, but the fear of failure simply prevents me from trying? I have to admit that this has been the case in the past, but at the same time I made it here and survived, no conquered, my first year of teaching abroad. Time will tell.

I just want to say, the Iron and Wine has been my savior this evening. For those of you who know, awesome, for those of you who don't, well, get with it.

Next time from Greece I hope.

Still on Ko Chang Island

2005-02-21T09:31:00.000-05:00

Ko Chang Picts here: Ko Change pictures

I guess I got sick of moving around. I'm still at the same place I've been since I got here. I'm still hanging out with the Brits that I met. We rented scooters today which was a blast. They really don't care much who takes them, give them 300 Baht and you have it for 24 hours. Can't beat the price, the thing is, they'll rent them to people who can't even ride a bike let alone a scooter or motor-bike (small manual but cluchless motorcycle). There is basically one road that wraps around the island yet doesn't quite connect for about 20 km. We only made it about half way, I have to admit being a little nervous. The road is only two lanes, we drive on the left, it's hilly and there are curves everywhere up to 300 degrees at some points. I was careful and never had a moment where I felt I was going to lose it, but I still never really got my confidence up like the young kids in front of me who sped off with nothing to fear.

We rode up to a waterfall together and hiked up a ways. I guess I had seen a smaller, more punctuated waterfall in Korea, but never one that reached such heights. Admittedly, tons of water was not rushing over saturating everything, it was a bit more gentle and all the rocks were worn soft from ages of gentle wear. The pool it fed was cool, much cooler than the ocean water here and I felt relaxed, laying between two rain forest mountains where among the 12 people present I heard no less than 5 languages: French, German, Russian, and of course Thai and English. I have no idea if I'm getting darker, but by the lobster sheen of my skin I'm definitely changing color in some way.

During the course of the nightly party last night someone ran off with my flip flops and left me with identical ones about 3 sizes too small. The only shoes I have here are flip flops and I have to say my feet are a bit worse for wear because of it, the size change didn't help very much. My bungalow is steadily turning into a shallow beach on the inside as it seems no matter how hard one tries it's impossible to remove all the sand from you feet and legs. The mosquito net over my bed seems to be working though, no major bites so that should help with the Malaria risk. Everyone else here has gotten a dozen shots for different things and several Swedes have me feeling paranoid but I feel there isn't much I can do about it at this point except not do anything stupid and stick with the insect repellent.

I might move on tomorrow, not sure, it really depends on how motivated I get, but this place is much like Austin, it sort of sucks you and dismisses the notion of time unlike I've ever known before. People here pretty much don't need clocks, the sun acts as alarm clock and you sleep when you get tired. Even the nights you stay up late you find yourself waking up more refreshed than you would in your home. There are several foreigners working at bars hotels around here, I can see how easily it can be to be sucked into this tropical lifestyle which really is unique unto itself. Even having not visited any other of the worlds tropical places, from what I've read and who I've talked to, the heat and ocean promote an atmosphere different from the rest of civilization. Worries are shed like unneeded sweaters and jackets to the nearest dustbin to hopefully be forgotten about entirely. I don't know how long I could stay here before I would start to feel incredibly guilty that the real world is passing my by outside of these floral gates. Then, I see the 10 year old bus boy, who even if the smile and carelessness in which he carries himself is genuine, makes me sad to think of what he is missing out from with limited education, options and dreams dictated (albeit, beautiful ones) by this fantastical world he lives in.

hope everyone is well.

Ko Chang Beach - Thailand

2005-02-18T22:43:00.000-05:00

Well guys, I made it I'm here. I'm doing what I set out to do I guess. As I glance around, I realize I haven't been around this many white people in over a year and I'm not sure how I feel about it, I don't feel like one of them but I'm also a big minority being American. Most people come from Europe or Australia and I've yet to reach that toasty flavor they all have in their skin.

Yesterday I met a couple young brits, 18 to be exact, who are on a round the world holiday before they start college. Really good kids, younger than my sister but they don't seem like it, or maybe she's the same and I don't realize it (very likely). We were on the same bus from Bangkok to That in order to catch a boat to an Island the following morning and started to talk. They had only been traveling for less than a week and were full of questions. We decided to go ahead and try to stick together since we were going to the same place. We found a little guest house that cost 60 Baht, which translates to about 2$. The guest houses here don't seem like hostels in the traditional sense, at least not this one. It was called "Friendly Guesthouse" and was hosted by a small and inviting old man sitting on his porch. Really, it's like they had tacked on a couple small rooms made of cardboard with a fan to invite travelers to. This is a small port town, mainly a layover to get onto the island and not a destination in and of itself. I wandered the streets a bit while Thom and Harriet (yes, Harriet) showered. The walk was a beautiful series of alleyways lit by an occasional palm branch of a fluorescent light. The perriodic rush of a small scooter lighting up the hidden passages and dancing by with kids or adults or combinations of them all on top and alert. To my right Bob Marley beckoned me into a bookstore where french voices overpowered the music. The owner had moved here a couple years ago and decided to open it up, I imagine the 2 year old 1/2 Thai and French little girl had something to do with it as well. I wandered on, discovering numerous other guesthouses with one night stays checking email and drinking beer and even a posh little cafe blaring from a corner with palm branches, full of light and wine glasses. The weather is what you would imagine, tropical, and everyone seems slowed by it in comparison to Bangkok, the streets are wider and less cluttered by cars and taxis. The homes resemble store fronts, and usually are. They welcome the street and the occasional passer by. Mattresses are laid simply on the ground, a tv on the floor provides a hum to what is otherwise are streets that seemed turned off. Wandering through the streets and later sharing a beer with my two companions on the street reminded me of part of why I came here.

So this morning, we awoke and began our journey to the Island Ko Chang. It's the northernmost island in the gulf between Thailand and Cambodia. After being crammed into the back of a modified pick up truck/taxi to the dock, a ferry took us on a slow trip to the island which never seemed very far and seemed not to grow as we approached. From there, another truck taxi for about 45 minutes until we reached the location we had semi-decided on, Lonely Beach. Now 4 of us hopped off having added a brutally serious Swede named Matias (not a typo) on the ferry over who had a couple days before been bitten by a street dog in Bangkok and had to stick around a couple extra days to get the necessary shots.

The housing here, for the backpackers, are small huts or beach bungalows. Some are made of bamboo or wood with thatched roofs. Nicer one on other parts of the island are more heavily constructed of wood and glass and air conditioned. At first I decided to crash with Matias in one of the huts at the end of the beach but found only one bed, no electricity nor fan. Wanting cheap, I needed those two things if only to charge my electronic addictions. I decided to defect to the place the other kids went to next door and pay out the 300 Baht (about 7$) for my own place that has an enclosed outdoor shower and toilet in addition to the fan and electrical outlet. Even though this is insanely cheap, it's actually out of my price range at the moment, In fact, I don't have much a price range, I'm sitting drinking instant coffee while everyone is out socializing and having real drinks because I don't think I can really afford it. I have a tad bit more in the bank, and a little in travelers checks but Japan killed me, largely the 500$ computer repair I had to shell out when my iBook logic board suddenly died. Anyway, I feel so lame talking about money so I'll stop it, it will work itself out.

The water is beautiful, you get waves of slightly cold tickling your feet and warm water massaging the rest of your body. I've never been in this environment, I've never been to Cancun or anywhere in the Caribbean or any of those places people go on spring break or summer holiday with these kinds of waters. It's all so incredibly new for me. I used to joke about not being much of a beach person because so much of my experiences were of tar covered Texas beaches littered with beer cans and jellyfish with showers holding industrial soaps in the showers to scrub off the remnants of oil tanker spills. Here, the sand is postcard powdery soft, coconuts do grow on trees and there are four small islands that seem close enough to swim, one of which might actually be. The water is still only chest deep a hundred yards out and the blue/turquoise color simply doesn't seem real. The meats have all just been grilled over a huge charcoal grill by two performance minded tattooed Thais and are served with pieces of pineapple and a Thai lime pepper sauce. My meal, which was actually more than I needed, cost about 3.50, less than a high school kid spends in the cafeteria. Beer is about a buck a bottle and juice drinks and "backpacker buckets" are popular here which contain a fifth of Thai whisky, a red bull and then topped off with coke, something I haven't indulged in. There must be at least 6 different languages I've heard spoken in addition to another half dozen English accents. So far, I'm the only American.

Each little settlement of cabins has it's own restaurant. The music of choice is chill down-tempo and the one I'm sitting at now has a little dance floor set up for later in the evening. Everyone is sitting on pillows or mats as their food is served. I've seemed to have nabbed the only chair and am sitting in a corner. Things will work out, I can hear the ocean behind me and I should go study some Japanese. Pictures as soon as I can hook up my laptop for a period of time.

__________________________________________________________________

"He had often felt anguish before, and it wold be no wonder if it came at such a moment, when he was preparing , the very next day, having suddenly broken with everything that had drawn him there, to make another sharp turn, entering upon a new, completely unknown path, again quite as lonely as before, having much hope, but not knowing for what, expecting much, too much, from life, but unable himself to define anything either in his expectations or even in his desires."

- Dostoevsky
The Brothers Karmazov

One Night in Bangkok

2005-02-16T11:28:00.000-05:00

First off, pictures here, descriptions will follow.

As I'm writing this I'm listening to some right-on Thai Hard-Core music. A comp CD I picked up for cheap near the fine arts university. I haven't really listened to stuff like this in a while but I have to say they nailed the sound and I feel like I'm being taken back a few years. I have mixed feelings about Bangkok. In many ways I feel like I'm back in Las Vegas multiplied by 100. There are lots of beautiful things about this place, but there is also a lot of desperation even if it doesn't show through so easily on all the sunned and smiling faces. God, I've only been here a little over a day and I feel like I need to get away. While I was picking up my baggage at the airport I noticed another foreigner looking desperately for his luggage which had not appeared. I asked him where he was staying thinking he might be going to the same place and we could share a cab. Turns out this Brit had just ran away from an unhappy job in Korea and had come over here to relax and look for some temporary work. Well, he hadn't decided where he was going to stay yet and decided to go with me after we located his bags. He had been here before so that made me feel a bit more comfortable going into this all alone. This would be the beginning of a long and unexpected day and night.

The hostel turned out to be fine. I have a small private room but I think I liked the one in Tokyo a bit more if only because the atmosphere was a bit better. I think this is as much a result of the type of people Thailand attracts as opposed to a place like Japan. I also can't bring in my own drinks here like the other place which sort of sucks but I guess I understand since he's trying to run a restaurant out of here as well. Anyway, onto the other stuff.

So we checked in and got cleaned up. The first priority was to find some Thai food which we did and shared a couple glasses of beer and talked about our similar situations and current events involving our two countries and Europe. This guy, Peter, is 30 but looks a bit younger minus his receding hairline. Well, after we ate he thought we should go down to Khaou San Road which is one of the main tourist streets, it also tuns out to be one of the big red light districts as well. I wanted to go down to check out the shops and pick up a pair of flip-flops since my cat had successfully destroyed my last pair. Anyway, I didn't have any objections and having not researched this part of my trip at all had nothing else to offer. It was great getting down there. We first flagged down one of the local buses (for this type there are not bus stops) and jumped on, it was moving before I had a even fully jumped up and there was a kid of about 15 who was half hanging out of the bus the entire time who was in charge of collecting the 4 Baht (@ 11 cents) to get us down to the boat taxis. For lack of a better name, the boat taxis were really interesting. We were both pretty much just playing it by ear and jumped down with all the other commuters. There are plastic sheets hooked up to pull ropes that the nearest passenger pulls on to raise up and block the thoroughly foul water from splashing aboard. The entire time there are 2 or 3 workers standing on the ledge of the boat to help people on and off and collect fare (9 Baht). This is entirely a no frills business and it would be very easy to miss the dock or the boat if you're not careful (I almost did). We transferred once but it was a fun experience, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. But, it works, there are several rivers in the city and the boats of whatever sort act as good methods of transportation.

We got off and had to ask around for directions but our path took us past the Democracy monument and some monolithic and busy streets teeming with several types of transportation and hundreds of people. We eventually made it to the street, which I felt sort of mixed about. This was the big street for foreigners, particularly the younger ones. There were bars set up on the street, tons of food stands and lots of flip-flops, just none in my size. Peter stopped for a drink, I wandered a bit. There were bars and restaurants everywhere, some of them looked quite nice. I was entirely confused by the prices coming from three different currencies in the last 72 hours. Before the night was over I'd be a bit more drunk than I was planning on and had spent more than I would have liked without realizing. We bounced around from place to place, trying to hit cheap drinks and eating in between. We finally happened across a small little local bar, meaning that we were the only foreigners there, that attracted me because I heard some rock music blaring inside. Turns out one of the guys hanging out there, a university student studying cinematography, spoke a bit of English. Peter is a very forward fellow and jumped at the opportunity and pretty much invited us to their table. very nice guys though and it definitely turned into the highlight of the evening. We shared some beer (which some Thais drink with ice) and talked about things, Top (his nickname) being pretty critical of his own country. My cowboy hat was a big hit and passed from head to head in out small group. Lots of pictures were taken, many cigarettes smoked and a few stories told. It was a good time and we left feeling a bit high from such a good random experience. Honestly, we should have called it a night there, but feeling freshly invigorated we stopped by a couple more places socializing this time with a couple brits, swedes and Aussies. It was also about this time that I realized Peter had the British affinity of being a bit of an ass when he was drunk, but many people here are so I didn't let it bother me and just gave him shit when I could.

When we left the final bar, I began to see the dirty truth of this place beginning to rear it's head. I mean, the whole night, everyplace on the street, is all about vice, mainly drinking. But it is later in the evening that the sex and desperation starts to wander through the streets from the eyes of the locals and foreigners. Men, many younger than me, walking through the streets shirtless, tanned, overly drunk, looking for their next drink and a girl, usually both. Then, all these beautiful young women who are waiting for them. I still not sure how I feel about it all. On the one hand, prostitution has always existed and probably always will, but the sex industry is probably about as important as all the other tourist industries here and it's not very pretty. While sitting down for a beer on a bench I ended up talking to one who approached me. She was very cute and said she was 21. I told her I wasn't interested but if she had time we could talk. I felt weird interviewing her in a way, but I just wanted to know a bit. Before she left I got a little information, that she was in fact 21, came from a small town a couple hours south of here and was a finance student in university. Her English was not bad but very limited. I gathered that she had initially come up here for school but was trying to make money to help her mother who she seemed to worship. She had older syblings but they had their own families and didn't seem to be able to help. She clammed up when I inquired about her father so I didn't press her on it. I really wanted to know how she ended up doing what she was doing but I felt awkward going into that and how she felt about it. She ended up having to leave but I couldn't stop thinking about her situation and feeling for her. All the restaurants here have many people working, often too many and all the food and drink is cheap so I can't imagine that these people see very much of the money, in fact I know they don't. I know cost of living here is very low, but it's obvious that these people can't make very much money to lift them out of their situations. With that consideration, it is easy to see how women fall into that life where they can likely make several hundred percent more than with other type of employment. But god it's sad. Like I said, it's not that I think prostitution in itself is evil, it's not good but it will always exist and it might even serve a purpose in that it allows some men to have a release sexually. But, it shouldn't be the only option. It's depressing to see all these kids on holiday here in this adult amusement park choosing to ignore its realities in place of their desires. I just couldn't separate the two as I walked through the streets thinking of how I was going to get back to my hostel. It seemed to me like a very simple and beginning solution could be for all the restaurants and bars to band together and raise their prices a slight bit. It would still be incredibly cheap comparably, but possibly make those kind of jobs more desirable. At the same time, they might not be able to afford to take on any more workers as most already created additional jobs, like the guy at one place whose entire duty was to track the sign up sheet for the pool table and let people know when it was their turn.

I don't know, I have to think about it more. I'm hoping to get out of here tomorrow at some point and make it down to an island for some long wanted privacy and swimming. I'll be digesting this place for quite a while to come, and I'm sure that I'll write more about it.

Punk Rock Night Out in Tokyo

2005-02-12T13:27:00.000-05:00

This will be short too because it's late. I just haven't had the free time to sit down and write So I wanted to check out some music and that is what I got. There is a Canadian and an Aussie staying here at the hostel who found out about a show and wrote me out a map. We got there about 1/2 way through and walked down into the basement bar/club into a scene that was completely familiar, if not a bit cleaner. This crowd was decked out straight out of '79. Everyone was friendly if not a bit curious about how the foreigners who happened into the place. Just to give you an idea about cost, this show cost 20 bucks to get into even if it did give you a free beer. The music was straight punk, not scream-core or anything new, but everything was played well and the energy was amazing. The whole thing reminded me of a day back at the Blue Flamingo but everyone was dressed like Punk Rock Jason but with even more difficult and creative haircuts. My favorite was the girl with the fushia mane of a mohawk falling the leapord print, shaved sides of her head. Very nice and spoke good english, unfortunately the picts didn't turn out as well as I would have liked.

After the show ended we hiked back up the stairs lined with no less than 12 guys handing out flyers to various shows. Great experience which I hope to have more of in the future. Anyway, for those of you interested, pictures can be found HERE.

More soon, more picts too.

PICTURES!!!

Northen Japan picts

2005-02-10T12:12:00.000-05:00

Hey, I'm too tired to write but here are some picts from Northern Japan. I'll write details soon.

Northern Japan

-c.

it's almost over

2005-02-03T11:01:00.000-05:00

Oh my god. I have only 1 teaching day left and I forgot to mark a huge X through the last couple of days on my calendar. This is a mixture of both how busy I've been and how the unexpected anxiety of leaving. Today I've received cards written from 10 year olds in extremely broken but guided English, a possible taker for my lovely cat Zoe, and a great dinner with my favorite student Belle, courtesy of her family, which gave me the rare opportunity to share a bottle of wine and European travel experiences with a 15 year old.

The last aspect was the best. Not only for what a beautiful young women this person is, but also for the realization of how old I've become (no negative connotations here). I think of my beloved Trishelle and Sherita who discovered me lingering, where was it? Somewhere, maybe at Brazils or at a bar in downtown Houston that I would slink into to enjoy the music of DJ Sun and the occasional jazz line up. I was 16, wait, I remember everything now. It was at a Tears for Fears concert (no jokes please, Songs From the Big Chair still rocks), I was 16 and my best friend Joel drove us down to the show. Hell, it was probably even a school night, what rebels! Not hardly, at least me anyway. We waited after the show to try and meet Roland, who was the only original member in the band at the time, and these two girls were there doing the same thing. Roland gave a quick wave and jumped into the tour bus, Olivia Adams, the backup singer was kind enough to talk to us for a minute and give us an autograph. Regardless, waiting in line at that time gave us an introduction to a couple of older kids who I still keep in contact with (at least one now, the other is married). They both were like older sisters to me. We became friends, turned each other onto different music (more them to me than the other way around). And for a brief moment tonight I felt myself like I might be able to be that for someone else. I remember the first (and only time during those years) that I tried a real drink. I was recently in love with the image of a Martini. The atmosphere of a couple jazz musicians and Solstice added to the moment and allowed me to hide my loathing of alcohol in this place where no one new me from my home. Trish felt the same so we ordered a drink to share. You can imagine the shock of a non-drinkers first sip of a Gin Martini, immediate disgust and the image of a barely touched drink left to die on a bar counter as she felt the same way. Who would have guessed that it would have turned into one of my favorite drinks that I crave here but can't find. Alas, time flies.

The point is, that although there are many students who deem me the "mean" teacher (or more commonly the monkey/gorilla) because I give a lot of work and demand a lot, that somewhere, somehow, I managed to touch a couple of them and that they will continue to remember me. God knows that I've not always been the best teacher in this first year, but I've learned a lot and with every passing week have tried to be more affective and funny in my approach. I'm going to miss a lot of them. I feel like I'm running out on them right when I might be able to help them the most. I mean, this is not regular school and sure as hell not university where teachers can change your life forever, but I think there are times when I've helped some kids over the one of the largest hurdles in language, the inhibition of speaking. I've definitely not been 100% successful, but enough to feel like I've accomplished something. Tonight, having one of my favorite students, the one I used to refer to as my 15 year-old friday night date (when we used to have a "free-talking" class with only 2 students for 3 hours), take me out to dinner and talking to her like a friend, or at least an older brother, made me realize that leaving is going to have more of an effect on me than I realized.

I'll part now, I feel like I'm being sentimental. The world awaits.

And I'm going to miss Minnie much more than I expected....

Music: Bright Eyes, Digital Ash in a Digital Urn

7 Days... Weighty Eyelids

2005-01-26T09:23:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure how long or enlightening this will be. I've worked an average of 12 hours the last two days. We're doing finals next week and I had to write 8 different tests. Actually, I have to do one more tomorrow, for our youngest level. That's right, final tests for 7 and 8 year olds, no kidding. One of the cutest students I have is this fragile little thing in that class who I always look out for. She's a bit younger and a lot smaller than all the other students. She looks like she might have been premature and hasn't quite caught up. Even though she's as shy as can be she's a complete angel and I try to keep an eye on her. She doesn't speak any English at this point but is just mimicking the other students. Honestly, I don't even know how much Korean she can write. She has an older sister who's about 11 or 12 in one of my other classes who is also a really sweet kid. This is only the second time I've had the beginners and I'm realizing how drastically my approach has to change with kids at this level. I also realize the need for much smaller classes when you're dealing with kids of this age. We have nine in the class, 5 would be closer to ideal. Besides the tiny angel, Mary, I have another student, a boy, who is also beginning English for the very fist time. I really would like the opportunity to spend more one on one time with each of them, but I've got books that I'm supposed to get through (their not bad, just too much for this amount of time) and 9 kids total. At this age you've got to keep them interested and occupied at all times or you have a major distraction waiting to cause the whole class to erupt. It's fun. I wish I didn't have quite so much material though. One of the books has songs and even though I had to drop all remaining cool I had out the window to do it, I've not become quite the chant and song leader. I wouldn't have gone into it so much if it weren't for how well the children, especially at this age, respond to it. I have to say, I as petrified of singing for as long as I remember, but kids here really go for it. More importantly it is one of the best listening tools for children who have not developed (my seemed to be ingrained, mortal fear of singing) inhibitions to belting out tunes. The thing is, between the tapes and listening to me, the kids can't always grasp the sounds, but the music provides an alternative way of hearing the sounds and words, it takes them time but they have fun and now I have them singing things like (from the book of "M") "My master likes to make a mess with mud" in relatively good pitch, harmonies come later...

Currently I'm listening to the new Trail of Dead album that I just purchased on iTunes and just finished a personal vendetta influenced review of the band on Pitchfork.com . I have to say, I like the guys and I'm impressed by the album. I'm a bit biased because I know one of the guys in the band, but I love music and even with all the still-persistent comparisons to Sonic Youth I still find their music much more engaging and screaming of life than much of what SY has put out in the last few years. Long live the drums the never end, Conrad's (where the hell is Jason's vocals this album?) and the sustained guitar until my ears fall off!!

Travel plans are still coming together. Unfortunately I'm holding off on a camera until I get to Japan where I will in fact buy one, even if it's a cheap little shitty one. I've got Tokyo worked out aside from some of the exact details, but I have my accommodations taken care of and all of that. I'm still working on Thailand. I have to find out where I'm going after I fly into Bangkok. I looked at one nice hostel in Bangkok, 8$ a night. Wow. I feel like such a selfish human being taking advantage of that after what the country just went though. My only consolation is that my money is helping to fund the largest part of their economy. I still feel a bit like a bastard though.

One last thing, my good friend Christopher has decided to take the plunge into this strange world I've found myself in. He's ditching his life back in Austin and heading to Europe for a similar life as I hope to find. Chasing that ex-pat American dream of being permanently lost while simultaneously trying to find yourself. After doing a month-long meditation retreat in France, he's going to spend some time touring around before he begins his TESOL right after I finish. We've made plans to spend a week in Cologne Germany before I head down to Spain where he's got a free place to stay. Right on. I know nothing about germany in all truth, but what the hell, sounds great. We talked about the possibility of not finding permanent work in Europe, if it happens, we think we might try to head off to Japan together which would be awesome. The idea of doing this with someone would be great. In another great bit of news, my friend Star is also going to to try and make things happen in France for a while. She's going back and forth at the moment out of concern but it is a possibility.

That's all for the moment, it's late, I'm tired and am completely spent from 10 classes today. Hope everyone is well.

-c.

Countdown

2005-01-19T09:55:00.000-05:00

I've got 12, count 'em, 12 working days left before my ass gets a real break! And I'm the first to say, I am working for it. Today I went in at 8 in the morning, stayed till 6:40 and then worked another 3 hours when I got home. I'm trying to get a little ahead on the crunch time when I'll have to write a whole bunch of final tests next week which always suck a huge amount of time. Lately, the thoughts of getting off the plane in Tokyo and heading off to a real sushi dinner with lots of warm sake and warm bubbly feelings welling up inside me is all that is keeping me going. The days are flying and I'm doing alright, but damn, I'm ready for a real break.

This may not be too long, it's late, but I've been trying to write all week and simply have not had the time. It snowed here last Sunday, a lot (for here). Beautiful. It was the most amazing thing to wake up and have this unusual white glare pouring through the windows. By the time I finally made it out of my house, several hours later, there were a few small snowmen build up outside of various stores and kids throwing mis-constructed snowballs at each other that had a tendency to self-destruct before they reached their desired target. I went out to get my haircut with Minnie in the university area near my house. She wanted to stop into this little store. She said "just a second" but I forgot about the Korean time difference. I finished my cigarette and thinking that she would only be a couple more minutes decided to construct some ammo to great her with when she emerged. 10,11,12.... no Minnie. I go to another spot, 16,17,18 snowballs neatly arranged in a haphazard pyramid, still no Minnie. So eventually I dust the snow off my jacket and gloves and go inside frustrated. By the time I was able to pull her outside I'd entirely lost my motivation and the snowballs were left resting in their offensive position for some lucky and energetic Korean to take advantage of. So it goes. I went on to get my haircut too short and then went home to make pasta. That was my Sunday in its entirety.

The rest of the weekend wasn't really that exciting but still pleasant. I haven't talked about SU:M since I started the blog again. I've mentioned (or is bitch the word?) about having not found a real artistic community here and the difficulty of my living location. Well, a few months ago I happened upon this little coffee shop/art cooperative. Since, we've been going regularly and have become friends with the guys who run it. They have coffee and all that, but they also have a little gallery showing university students work that rotates about every month and are entirely open to us letting us use their place as an impromptu living room. I actually had a semi-successful birthday party there in December. I actually wasn't really that lucky getting new faces out, but I did get most of my friends there for some drinking and dancing which was nice. Saturday we showed up late with a bottle of Vodka and wine in tow and met a few of our friends up there (Chloe and Yamur). Fun was had by all, really a nice gently evening. We headed out about 2 and that was the bulk of our Saturday night. Sort of like a dinner party minus the food and the house, but really a nice familiar environment.

This is actually a rather uninspired writing so I'll curtail it now until another time. Hope life finds all well. Oh, and, I finally got to see Garden State... I had such huge hopes that they were really unrealistic, but I still really enjoyed it. Ahh, the romance movies of the generation of skeptics and cynics, gotta love them (and their soundtracks). Go see it if you can. Don't expect to fall out of your seat laughing, just expect an evening of drinking and laughing with close friends and the tears that follow in the privacy of your 8th glass of wine crowded with your head against the corner wall with someone you care too much about.

-c.

Music: Mates of State

welcome to Blogger!! new post!

2005-01-15T08:06:00.000-05:00

Well, with just a few weeks left, literally, I'm going to to try and revive the whole blog thing. I started that other one but the format and the look of it all just didn't inspire me. Not to say that I haven't been going through a bit of writers block and that in truth I simply haven't felt that much like writing of late, but that is beginning to change. I started to read through the blog of another teacher up in Seoul and it made me realize that I'm wasting this all if I don't get some of it down. Memories can fade, need to get them on paper (so to speak) while I can.

I'll try not to rehash too much what most people already know. My last day of school is February 4th and I leave for Japan on February 7th. I'll be there for about a week and hopefully be spending a lot of time with a Japanese friend I met here who should show me the ropes. I'm hoping to catch at least one good rock show, go to a hot-spring submersed in snow covered mountains and eat a hell of a lot of good food all the while trying to maintain a reasonable budget. We'll see how it goes. By they way, if anyone knows anyone living in Tokyo I would really love a place to crash at so I can save some dough. I'll probably be in Tokyo that Monday, possibly Tuesday and then the following weekend. The Faint played there last night, what I would have done to be able to go...

After Japan I have to have an overnight stay back here in Busan, then I catch a plane to Bangkok. Thailand as of right now is still a little up in the air. My Korean friend Cindy has been working with her sister for the last 4 months in Phuket, but with the recent disasters I'm not sure what to expect. I'm planning on spending a healthy amount of time on the east coast which wasn't affected. I'm not sure if it will drive rates up or what, I'll just have to play things it by ear when I get there. I'm not planning on spending too much time in Bangkok, that's all I know.

Ok, so from Feb 14-25 I'm in Thailand, after that I fly to Athens to spend time with Katarina and see some history. On the 26th I get somehow to Prague to do the TEFL course. That is four weeks and then I make it to Spain, broke to stay with a Frenchie I met back in Spanish class and try to find work. I'll be in Madrid but would really like to try to find a place in Barcelona. Ultimately, by that point I'm just going to broke and tired so I'll probably take any steady work I can find anywhere, as long as I can stay in Spain I'll be happy (relatively at least) cleaning toilets.

So about life here. Things have changed a bit. I'm quite the homebody lately. We're on the winter schedule which means days that begin at 8:30 and end somewhere between 4:30 and 6:30. I'm teaching between 8-10 classes per day leaving me a bit exhausted. The good news is that I like all my classes this semester, even the problem kids from semesters past are being less of a hassle.
Part of the change is that the kids mature and grow so quickly and I'm just getting better at what I'm doing and working with kids. For the first time since I've been here some of the classes that I look forward the most are my younger kids with students ranging from 10-13. The largest reason has to be my confidence level with what I'm doing now. I was reading the other blog and his relating his first experience and they turned out to be exactly like mine. The books that we get are not always perfect and when I first got here I found myself flying through pages really quickly and the kids probably didn't get that much out of it. Now I can stretch one or two pages for an entire class and sometimes longer, reinforcing several skills in ways that don't make them bored. People who know me back home as the serious and sometimes pensive figure would hardly recognize me in my classrooms. I've taken my long suppressed ability to simply goof and turned it into my advantage in the classroom. I've even surprised myself with how much cool I've been able to shed with the children and I actually think that a lot of the time I'm doing a good job.

I'm still doing mostly speaking and listening classes and I've felt I've come a long way on this. In all levels, even up to the upper levels I have focus largely on phonics and pronunciation. It's so essential at all levels for these kids at least with certain sounds that simply don't exist here. Me, the chronic mumbler, I hardly mumble in the class now unless I'm proving a point. I've think I've finally gotten them listening to each other and themselves which is essential. There is constant negative reinforcement on speaking from their classmates and even the Korean teachers who often suffer from the same obstacles to correct pronunciation. An let me just say, there is nothing wrong with accents by all means. Yes, as westerners we find some more desirable, attractive and sexy than others, but ultimately it only matters if the accent is distracting or makes the language difficult to understand. What I try to do is just mellow it so that it can be understood. Luckily Korean is also a phonetic language so outside of a few essential sounds (particularly the f, v, ch, th), they're able to mimic a lot of things. Vowels are sometimes difficult because only about the half have direct correlates in English and the nonsensical nature of English writing makes it difficult sometimes for them to pronounce new words because so much of our language is filled with exceptions to already loose rules.

I think I've talked about it a bit before, but the written system here is extraordinary. It's I think one of the few, if only, written systems that was researched studied and created to be accessible to many people. And it really is, reading it that is. The grammar and sounds are extremely difficult as a westerner as most (I think) non-romance languages can be, but you can learn to read in a few days and it hold relatively few exceptions between reading and speaking. It also could be an easily adaptable language. With a few extra consonants and vowels added in it could easily be used for Japanese and other languages. Yes, the chinese characters, used here for special occasions and ceremoniously, are elegant, but it is based almost entirely on memorization. Furthermore, the meaning of some characters (used here, China for numerous languages and dialects, and for part of the Japanese writing system) change from region to region and language.

I'm going to abruptly cut this off, it's long enough, but more soon I promise.

November Update

2004-10-31T23:15:00.000-05:00

Hey Everyone,

I apologize about the mass email but my blog is shot to shit and I'm behind on a lot of emails.

So I'm nearing the 9 month mark here in Korea and as of right now I'm still unsure of what is going on next. I'm planning on going to Thailand and Vietnam for most of February and March if money allows. After that it's pretty much up in the air. I've considered doing a second year in Korea but I'm also thinking of other locales. In the running are Japan or Europe (Spain, Greece, Italy, Czech Republic) and Taiwan pretty much in that order. Europe is probably my top preference but it's difficult to find work there mainly for visa reasons. As for when I'll be back in the States, I really can't say right now. The soonest would possibly be the end of March or April but I've also thought about forgoing a trip back home entirely if it were to mean I could get the right job in the right place and my family would not disown me.

As far as life here. The job has mellowed and I feel much better there most of the time. In some regards I feel like I've become a good teacher, in others I feel merely adequate. I struggle with discipline in larger classes but what teacher doesn't? In general there is less stress at work even though I'm working a little more than I was earlier on.

I feel like most of the time I'm getting out of the house less and less. It's still difficult at times to find things to do. Although I'm sitting in a coffee shop with atrocious music and worse coffee, here there are not the hang outs or options like back home. I had a dream I was at Emo's sweating obnoxiously watching a band play its heart out in that beautiful sweaty steam-pit of a venue. Alas, no options for that here. It's been so long since I've written about what has happened here I'm not sure where to start, then I think maybe there is not that much to talk about.

I still like I haven't put my finger on the culture here. Lately what has been annoying me here, and I don't know if it is the entire culture or just the few people I know, how little curiosity there is. That doesn't sound right. I mean, we can talk about world issues and such, but I find little intrigue about my life, or about the things I feel are important about me that help build relationships. In the same vein, I find a lot of questions I might ask are averted with curt answers or that the question is simply treated as unimportant. It's hard for me even to think of specific examples of the latter but sometimes I feel like I reach a wall with some Koreans very early on that reduces how well I could know them. It feels as if I don't know much more about people I met 6 months ago than I do now. And we Americans, or westerners tend to be open, often too open, I realize that, so who knows. I just sometimes wonder if it's the same between Koreans. Friendships here are largely a result of situation (age, school, workplace) and I wonder if how it is the same between them. I see them laughing, arguing, crying, just like we do. And I have those moments as well, but often personal questions are inconsequential facts about life, "how old were you when.." "what did you do after college..." but seldom more emotive or analytical questions. I mean really, who gives a shit about when something happens half the time if you don't flesh out the fact with the details and feelings about it that make it important (or not)?

On a different note, my boss took us all on a little trip this weekend and that was nice. I've really not gotten out and seen a lot of this country which is largely my fault but also a result of not having that much time off. I simply don't like to travel that much if I have only two days and have to travel both. We went to Gyeongju , the historical capital of Korea. It was really beautiful even if at times it felt a little rushed. This country has true seasons and right now all the areas outside of the cities are picture postcards. The mountains, of which this country is covered by, are all gently finding their place in fall and the colors or so rich that you would find yourself unable to turn away of something equally amazing wasn't sitting next to whatever you happen to be gazing at. I spent a lot of the time in the back of the car digesting the scenery of which there is nothing in Texas to compare. Every other mile there is land that has been cultivated, largely for rice, of which we're in the latter stages of harvest. They draw these gorgeous organic but linear, patterns in the carved out valleys and mountains sides. The trees don't have the height of a place like the NW US, but the variation of the foliage and the colors leaves you enamored. Then, when you slow down enough, you can often make out the top of one of the temples hiding in a mountain or less obviously, the mounds and tomb markers nestled beneath the trees. Those with money and property, are still buried in the traditional method which is similar to us but instead of digging a hole, the body is (I think in a coffin type box) laid on the ground and then piled upwards with stones and then dirt where grass is allowed to grow. They really are quite beautiful in how the mounds don't disrupt the nature at all but instead blend in and the trees act like a protector over the tomb. Ancient kings and figures of power were buried in the same way but on a much grander scale. We got to tour the area where dozens of these tombs were but here they reached up to 12 meters or more. This is area is a much different experience in how you have many of these tombs in varying height in the same area, probably a square mile or so (I'm really bad at gauging size on that scale). This burial area lies in a valley so the mountains are on the perimeter and there are pathways that wind around the separate tombs. This was probably site that has most affected me and I hope to return when the area is under a blanket of snow.

We went to other areas. Amongst many temples, we also saw the oldest observatory in Asia (and I was told also the world) which I think goes back to 647. The Buddhist temples are among the most popular and famous tourist spots. The thing is for me, once you've been to a few they get slightly redundant. Secondly, many were destroyed during the Japanese occupation along with other historical sites and have since been rebuilt. It's understandable that they rebuilt these structures as there would simply be very few left if they did not, but it takes away a tiny bit. The Japanese were ruthless during their reins of Korea and still are the reasons for a lot of resentment and sometimes conflictive relationship. Were a lot of these structures do excel is once again in their integration with their environment. Buddhism, the little I know about it, holds nature equal with man and the architecture usually illustrates amazingly. Unlike some of our structures (which are modern in comparison and don't make for a good comparison in truth) the roofs blend in with the mountain they rest on. They don't stand and dominate a landscape like Grecian and western historical sites tend to do (and consequently ours). The decorative painting, while sometimes loud, uses colors produced from all the seasons and is usually muted by its placement beneath the roof and obvious once you are closer to the building. But enough about that. The temples really are beautiful and usually still in use which adds to the experience.

I'm looking over what I read, and even though I have more to say, I feel I've probably lost the majority of my audience so I'll stop now. I'll try to send these semi-regularly now since my Blog seems as it will not be resurrected. I do want to talk about the little old women, with the 80 year old smokers voice, out-drinking everyone else who ran the pension or Min-Bak we stayed at, but I'll save it for another email.

About the pictures. There is one old one from the spring of a temple here in my city and the rest are from the past week. We had a Halloween party at the school. I was in charge of the Haunted House and they didn't get any pictures of that on this camera (nor me). The rest are from this past weekend but unfortunately my friend's camera didn't really get the best shots. I'm hoping to buy a camera in the next month so hopefully I'll have some more picts soon.

Please, people write me!! Even though I'm not coming back for a while, and I'm often bad about quick responses, I still want to hear what is going on in everyones life.

One day to the election, let's all pray to our selected gods, oh, and vote.

-c.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And this kid's playing guns in the street
And one's pointing his tree branch at me
So I put my hands up, I say "Enough is enough.
If you walk away, I'll walk away."
And he shot me dead
-Bright Eyes
"One Foot in Front of the Other"

journal 15?

2004-04-15T21:50:00.000-04:00

I know there are so many things I keep talking about writing about, things I need to finish, bridges I need to jump off... whatever. This entry is personal and largely due to the the blessing that spring weather is dropping on us. Those annual feelings that your turn your gut in excited ways leaving you senseless and unsure of which direction to look and even less of which direction to walk.

The Spring session at my school is divided into two parts. We're winding down the end of the first of these sections. Although I was expecting things to go by fast I'm taken aback by the fact that I've already been here over two months and the speed of which that time has passed. If I can keep jumping to new parts of the world like this I should have life taken care of in a cinch. Ready to turn to mud and start it all over again. I hope that does not sound morbid, it's actually supposed to be a hopeful thought.

To all those with un-responded emails, I apologize. Got knocked out by a cold last week and just started to feel myself the last week. Ok, anyways back to the school. I'm actually taking a request on this one.

Let me first give props to all my friends back home who teach and let them know that I don't have it as hard at them. I need to talk about the difference in my situation and what it means to be a teacher in a school in the States. I do not work for a public school. What I do should be viewed as glorified tutoring. All the kids I work with have English in their regular schools and go to my academy afterwards. Often this is but one of the academies that they go to. Usually the others include, Math, Korean, Science, Chinese Writing, Music and sometimes a general tutoring Academy that reinforces most subjects they are taking in their regular school. These kids also go to school six days a week. Most of the time their day starts around 7 when they get up and doesn't really stop till around midnight (there is a semi-explanation to this, see below). Between School and the academies there is studying and the understandable mountains of homework they have to try and deal with when they get home between 9 and 10:30. Most of us can't even think of comparing our school experiences with what they go through here. Sports are indulgences for the few. There is no drill team or cheerleading that I know of. Most schools require uniforms and the majority of students (I think all) have to pay for education after middle school. This is not as horrendous as it sounds (although not a system I favor either), but the way I interpret it is that in lieu of the various tax systems we have in place parents pay directly to the school for their child's education. On the outskirt this seems fine but then reality sinks in and you quickly realize that there are class divisions and income divisions like there are in any country that work against a system of social equity. The kids whose parents can afford to send them to the better schools, the better hogwans (after school academies) and/or expensive private tutors, DO. I'm unsure whether there are any scholarship-like opportunities for kids who excel but lack the financial means. But if there is I imagine that its depth is a bit shallow and that many kids with the capabilities are left out. Then again at the same time, signs of abject poverty are very difficult to find here. I'm still looking for stats on this but in general the have-nots don't seem to be as desperate as those from my home country meaning that they have something working here pretty well. Not to mention violent crime is all but non existent, but that's another story.

The school/hogwan/academy whatever, is not ideal. I do not pour my entire self into it. I realized that it would be a bad route to try early on. I feel that I would handle this differently in different circumstances, particularly if I were teaching in a public school in the States but it is unrealistic for a number of reasons here. First off, this is not a "real school" as I explained earlier. I can only teach and help the kids who have a desire within themselves to learn. Many are here only because their parents make them come. If this were just one after school activity for them I might try to find ways to make it meaningful for each and every one. But I've already explained the reality of their lives. And to put it quite simply, they are overwhelmed. I do what is asked, but the Hogwan system, at least in my school is systemically flawed. Largely in my part I think to my director who lacks most sense of leadership and whose grasp on English is not strong enough to allow for any cohesiveness between the teachers and the school. We don't have all the resources available to do what we could, and instead we do what is adequate. This is a system of mediocrity and I don't think if varies drastically from academy to academy (at least the English one, I can't comment on the others). They all do gain from the experience, some even greatly, but to say that they all are excelling leaps and bounds from the experience would be a blatant lie. At times our school is a release for the kids as I've talked about at different times. We don't hit the kids (evidently this is still acceptable in public schools), they don't have to wear uniforms, they have the freedom to act with more of their personality here and in general I think this aspect is rather enjoyable for many of the students. So, due to the fact that the foreign teachers don't speak Korean, they probably do get something from the necessity to express themselves in English in this "relaxed" atmosphere. They probably take some liberties, try to see how far they can push things with us at times, but this can likely be interpreted by what they are so much denied in the rest of their lives. It's late, there is so much to say. But I have to say I like most of my students and the majority are responsible for making me smile more in the last couple months than I did the bulk of last year. So on to a brief larger, social criticism.

If one knows anything about this country, or even thinks of the last 100 years you can realize that the country has been faced with some very trying times. If you go back further in their history (read: millennia) you see that oppression and aggression by surrounding countries, particularly Japan has been a constant obstacle. Then, add in the physical issue of the country. They are on a rather small peninsula about the size of Virginia. Herein lies the most densely populated country in the world. They have few if little marketable natural resources. There is a little coastal oil but nothing to make an industry out of. The former agricultural fuel of the economy is all but useless in a globalized age of modern, industrial farming. The rice can keep the people eating but that's about it. From what I have learned from my kids, and this is instilled in them, is that the people, the Human Capital, is Korea's most valuable natural resource. I was impressed at how well some of my students were able to articulate this and more impressed by their understanding what it meant and its implications. Basically, the government has emphasized that the heavy education is in order to make Korea competitive economically. By having an educated, modern population the country becomes both a better source of internal production but an attractive client for foreign investment. To say they are not in many ways modeling themselves after Japan would be a lie but something many Koreans would be likely to admit. They want to desperately put themselves on the map and provide security for their future. Education is the way to do this. Therefore, they push upon the young people an excess of education in an attempt to create very attractive job candidates. Part of this process, in the globalized economy, is obviously the English language which allows many leveraging opportunities in economic world. The way I see it is that the present generations are by others choice sacrificing their childhood (or much of it) so that future generations can prosper. I'm not going to go into it too much but this model has been tried for a while in Japan, and it has brought them a great deal of prosperity, the Asian financial crisis aside. But, recently I've read that there has been some subversion going on with the younger generations in regards to these ideas and norms. From my perspective (and it is as right now an admittedly ignorant one on Japanese affairs) this is partly a reaction of growing up as one of the "haves". The influence of western thought and culture combined with the strict norms of their country and the confining emphasis of large amounts of education has left a younger generation of Japanese thinking that they may just want to live life for themselves. The point is that I'm sensing that in some of my more mature students and I think that depending on how things unfold we might see a similar predicament in the following generation.

How's that for a10 minute cultural-anthropology lesson?

This was supposed to be about how the weather and my comfort level has got my eyes wandering on the streets and my body looking forward to sweating on the dance floor of a new Hip Hop club opening up tomorrow.... Blame it on Shannon. By the way, I'm half way through re-reading Le Grand Meaulnes.

about a boy at the beach baying

2004-03-28T20:48:00.000-05:00

Okay, this started off about the beach but I broke off into a huge tangent. So that will come tomorrow, this is for now:

(Imagine some discourse about a beach in Korea here. Use your imagination, it will make it more fun)

Something else that stuck out at me was the preference vertical architecture at the beach and the city in general. In most of the cities I've been to if there is a rather tall building it is either an office building or a high-rise condo. Often the building has the ground level reserved for retail space. Even with smaller buildings (and I'm thinking NYC, SF, Barcelona, Paris here) might have a small business or two on the ground and then above that just offices or residential spaces. Here, it's different. This is the norm here and I guess in regards to the beach I'm criticizing that they let this practice encroach quite as close to the beach area as they did. But, you want to go to a bar? Fine there might be one on the ground floor, but more than likely if it's in one of the more happening parts of town, it could be on the 3rd (not too bad), 5th (slightly unusual), or 9th (wait a sec, there is only one elevator here) floor of a building. They look like the should be office buildings but they're all service spaces of some sort all the way up. And it doesn't stop with bars and restaurants. I've been to two shopping centers like this.

The first place I went to is typical Korea. It's like all the outdoor flea-markets that we're familiar with and you'd expect in a developing nation like this selling knock offs of everything you could imagine and a little of everything else too, but in the age of modernization this new 'mall' has been built UP. Not just two or three stories mind you, but six or seven stories and more. And these aren't real stores in this particular place, but booths where I think you can haggle the price and sometimes have to swat off the competitor across the aisle if you're looking at something. That is this one place (I don't remember the name), now the other is the Lotte department store.

Now this is not a department store in an American sense I just can't think of another word for it. I guess you could call it a shopping/movie/theater fire hazard. That is probably the best way to describe it. We were there two weeks ago to go see Big Fish. You have to jump on the foreign films while they're here quick because unless there the Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter they're gone within a week or two. Anyway, you walk in and it looks like this sort of chic Neiman Marcus type of place if you stuffed it about 5 times the capacity limit and increased the sales staff to something like one person for every five products. That is the first floor. The movie theater was on the 10th floor. There are two elevators to the place and one escalator. J- and I often try to take the stairs when there is a long line for an elevator and this one looked like it took some experience as a linebacker to get into so we said screw it and told our friends we'd meet them on the top, betting on who would get there first. The firs three floors went fine. We're both in decent shape, no concerns. Then the ceilings started to get lower, then about the 5th floor an assortment of costumes started to appear on the staircase. ok. So we figure out there is a theater in the place, fine good information to know. Luckily there were no wandering cast members coming through the stairwell and we figure we're half way there so we'll just walk past the guy with his door open who is watching tv. He might be security and we definitely passed a sign that said "somekindofperson ONLY" but it was in Korean and we figured we could play stupid if anyone asked. On we went. The costumes disappeared and while we did find it a little disconcerting that there were no doors that we could spot that led back into the department store part of the building we were the slightest bit shocked when we finally got to a door that was about 4ft by 4ft and locked. That was the end. We had discovered the rabbit hole but he'd gone home for the night and wasn't allowing any more guests. 30 minutes later when went back down the stairs and then had to fight our way onto the elevators we finally met our friends. The showtime we wanted had sold out and we had to wait till one almost two hours away.

We decided to browse a bit at some of the lower floors and play it by ear. Wait, did I mention that we never did successfully locate an actual staircase that went down? Remember that the frigging movie theater is on the 10th floor. Each floor below us had something between 500-1000 people on it. I swear. I cannot estimate crowds for shit but it was a big weekend shopping day and we were getting claustrophobic after about 15 minutes. We paused to eat on the eleventh floor where I noticed that there were signs for an emergency exit. Evidently if things get crazy you're supposed to open the window and shimmy down the wall by a cable. That is nice. I'm glad I've taken all those classes on mountain climbing and I'm sure the other six thousand people in the building were equally trained. We snacked and went downstairs to "browse".

Me and the other foreigners couldn't even really think of browsing through the stuff, beside the fact that I didn't have any money to be spending on clothes there was no way I could casually browse. This was full contact shopping. If you were brave enough to fight your way to an item you would then be jumped upon by a sales person, or two or three. This wasn't even foreigner special treatment, this was just reality. The line to the elevator moved fast but still wrapped around the center of the building like a them park ride. By the time we descended the three of us foreigners must have traded a dozen looks of astonishment and they still carried the same weight on the 9th floor as the did when we finally made it out of the building to breather the not so fresh air. We hadn't even seen the movie but were seriously re-considering even though we had our tickets in our pockets. All we could think of were images of some fire breaking out and the disaster being immense with us in the middle of it. We went and got coffee. I had my laptop on it and it has Tony Hawk's Pro Skater version who knows what on it. I don't play video games. But I had opened out of curiosity on the subway down there and was having fun "designing a skater". You can pick the shape, ethnicity, build, clothes even how big their hands are and what tattoos you would like them to have. So, we chatted and designed our Korean friends virtual boyfriends. We never could figure out how to make them skate. That's romance in the digital age for you. We made it to the movie and by the time it let out the most of the place had cleared out and the intimidation factor dropped to null. Nor a perfect movie but the last 30 minutes make it worth it. That's all for now.

bang, bang assorted bangs

2004-03-22T20:48:00.000-05:00

Well, this entry is a bit overdue but I've got to get it out. So last week I had my first "bang" experience. Now, before you start getting any strange thoughts, let me just clarify that this word translates to "room". We were looking to see what English language films were playing in the theatre and found that there weren't any we wanted to see or hadn't seen, so we looked into what is called a DVD Bang (It's more of an sound too). These places are fairly popular and you can find them in most of the happening areas of town. The concept is real simple. You go to one of these places where they have all these movies to rent, really, and rather than taking it home you watch it in one of the rooms they have set up for the purpose. I was with three friends so we got one of the larger rooms. It's actually a nice setup, I think it costs us about 4 bucks a piece but we were in one of the nicer parts of town so it might be cheaper elsewhere. The room is not too big but large enough. Instead of a couch or chairs there is sort of a floor bed with pillows where you can relax. The TV was one of those large wall mounted flay panel things which is much better than watching things on my dinky 12 inch laptop at home which we've done a couple times. The main drawback is that they sort of control the movie, so if you need to run to the bathroom, there is not a way to pause the film as far as I know. These are very popular with young people, and let's think a moment as to the reason why shall we... So get a movie, go into a small dark room with a friend or lover and "watch" a movie for a couple hours on essentially a bed. I'm pretty sure you can bring in drinks of your own if you wish and most you can smoke in if you so choose. Needless to say, I've heard that quite a few Koreans have some of their first non-movie watching experiences in these places. So, in some regards I'm happy that we got a larger room which I feel was a little less likely target for extracurricular activities. Evidently, they've been required by law to but windows on the door to discourage imaginable actions. Ours did have one, but one of our Korean friends said that this has not been implemented everywhere.

Ok, Bang # 2. The name eludes me on this but these are essentially Karaoke Bangs. Same idea but instead of a movie you go into a room and there are couches, a small stereo setup and a TV where you the lyrics of the song are up on the screen for you. Any of my Austin friends reading this will probably recognize the format, that one was Korean owned, you can tell by the signs which are in Korean. I've actually not been into one of these things yet, don't ask me why. I have such an outstanding singing voice and all. But I've talked to people who have gone and this is what has been described. I don't think that these things are limited to Korea but are extremely popular all throughout Asia. If you remember the scene in Lost In Translation where Bill Murray and Scarlet Johanson's character are doing the Karaoke thing in a small room, it's sort of like that minus the windows and the 20th story view. Here's the one thing, these things are everywhere. Seriously, they're as common as convenient stores. You can't walk down a block that has any commercial business and not see one. It's insane, they take this stuff very seriously over here. This also ties into what will be a future posts about all those "incredible dancing girls". That is not meant to be as suggestive as it sounds but I really want to devote a whole entry on them once I get a camera so I can offer some visual aids to go along.

Bang #3. I also can't remember the name of these. I've yet to go to one of these too and I'll limit my commentary on something I've yet to have first hand experience with. These are basically small spa's or saunas. The chinese/turkish/asian baths and saunas are very popular here as well. The thing is once you go in, you go to a locker room and strip down naked. The sexes are separated in these and the larger type "Baths" both of which usually offer different mineral baths and such. I know that I basically need a Korean chaperone to go into one of these and since I have ZERO male Korean friends at this point I'll have to wait a bit. I promise a full account of the experience if/when it finally happens. I'm actually very interested in this because I think it ties largely into issues of being overly self-conscious about our bodies. This I think is largely a western problem, but I might be speaking too soon. Realize that these things are not some crazy sexual escapade type of place (although I'm sure there are places that cater to that type of thing) but instead are sort of like public pools minus the clothing and the fact that the sexes are seggregated. My hypothesis is that being surrounded by normal non-perfect naked people, faults and all, will help decrease the level of criticism an individual places on their own bodies. I explored this in the States and found it to help me, honestly. Now, I would like to think that is the case but then you see an add on the TV for a skin whitener and you're forced to question your thoughts. Yes, they really have skin whiteners over here, and I think I understand how that came to be but another time... What really drives me nutty is the ads (I think I've mentioned this already) for plastic surgery with the image of Audrey Hepburn on them. It drive me insane to see my goddess used in such a way. So anyway, I will write more about this once I have some first hand experience and am able to talk to people about the topic in depth.

In other news. I spent Saturday night playing Gin Rummy at one of the bars with the usual suspects. Now, I don't know how to play any card games other that Blackjack and even that I have a hard time with. It's not that I have anything insanely against cards I've just never learned. I guess I was annoyed in high school when anytime the teacher paused for more than five seconds that 8 games of VC (a Vietnamese card game that caught on like wildfire with the entire school) would appear out of the blue in any given classroom. I never watched Beverly Hills 90210 either (which I always thought all the men watched just so they would have something to talk to the girls about, Sex in The City anyone??....) I've always been skeptical of anything that appealed to the masses, this is not necessarily a good quality and I'm still confused why Bush is doing so well in the polls. Anyway, once my Korean partner finally started to teach me a bit of how to play Gin are winning streak ceased and that's all I have to say about that.

I'm reading two books currently. I'm still getting through my "at home" book, The Brothers K. and for my subway reading I'm polishing off Salinger's 9 Stories which I've been trying to take in small doses becuase the pages are finite and he published so little. This has gotten me in a Salinger kick again and I'm going to re-read Catcher in the Rye once I finish Teddy. Now, does anyone have any insight on why, when you go to a bookstore here, the English language section will contain the book adaption of every major English language film but inevitably a copy of Catcher in the Rye? This is a country that is still has a rather tenuous relationship with western cultural imports and a pretty strict class system. On top of that there is still an adequate amount of censorship as far as what western things are allowed into the country. You can find all your Eminem CD's at the records store (and blaring from various speakers) but vibrators are illegal. And back to the book, here we have a book that openly and at times rather crassly, criticizes the (admittedly another country's and another time's) status quo. Strangely enough though, Catcher in the Rye might have as much significance in the here and now Korea as it did (and does) in America. I don't know, that's worth a whole entry in itself in the future. But, if anyone happens to run into a cheap copy of "Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters" (also by Salinger) would you think about sending it to me? I seem to have given out my only copy back in the States and I can't find it anywhere here.

Lastly, I just found out about this band called "TV on the Radio". I honestly am entirely unsure how to interpret this album. It's Prince, U2, Peter Gabriel and honestly I think a little bit of Morphine mixed with Gospel. I'm so entirely confused but I can't stop listening to "Staring at the Sun" (they're own original). Anyone have other opinions on the band?

"The most singular difference between happiness and joy is that happiness is a solid and joy a liquid. Mine started to seep through its container as early as the next morning."
J.D. Salinger
9 Stories

flying boxes and grown men crying

2004-03-15T21:47:00.000-05:00

About the current events and the throwing, crying and general baby-acting of the S. Korean government at present. Did I mention the 100 or so police officers in full riot gear outside yesterday? Did I mention that half of them looked much younger than me? Now this is explained by the mandatory military service this country still requires. It wasn't even unnerving as one would think. It looked like a whole lot of kids playing dress-up as riot police. My last close encounter with riot cops were at the big anti-war protest in NYC over a year ago. Now, some of those were intimidating. You could feel the tension as they were pushing the swarms of people onto the sidewalks that were impossibly small. The mayor had denied a permit to march and the police were required to block off the center of all the streets. I left when tensions were running high, virtually immobilized against hundreds of other protesters of all shades and ages and my friend who I had drug out started to get a little scared.

Admittedly on saturday I was passively observing but there was never the same sense of impending violence as the people peaceably marched down the streets chanting slogans against the congress. Yes, the fiasco an Thursday, for all of you who caught it on CNN was embarrassing to say the least, but so were the actions the opposition used to impeach the president. On an extremely selfish note, I really don't want this country to destabilize because I'm being paid in Korean Won and owe USD to various institutions. We can all wait patiently to see how this unfolds. Personally I'm still weighing out sentiment. The current president is unique in that he was an outsider from politics and although a lawyer previously, did not have a college education. He appealed to a lot of the youth and ran a hugely successful internet campaign (last part sound familiar?). From what I can gather from the few people I've talked to is that many people have been dissatisfied with his policies and general performance (especially with his loose lips around other country's leaders) but in general most people respect the democratic process that put him in power. So, more than anything, I'm seeing resentment over the actions of the opposition controlled congress where the two opposition parties united to dethrone the current president. I'm not going to go too much more into this because I simply don't yet have the knowledge to comment intelligently, as soon as I talk to some more people I'll open this up a bit more. There is still a two month period where the Supreme Court has to decide the legality and guilt of the current situation. He has been removed from power, and the opposition Prime Minister has power so in some regards "mission temporarily accomplished".

I think a lot of people are sitting back in the States thinking this could never happen there and perhaps they're right. I don't really see Nancy Pelosi having the strength to hurl a ballot box at Tom Delay or Dennis Hastert (it would probably just bounce right off the latter's protruding gut anyway) but remember, I'm in a country that holds physical violence at an extreme low. It ruins one's honor and respectability to a degree that we could only wish for in America. Physical conflict is avoided at almost all costs. Two weeks ago we were watching the demise of a non-fight of some young kids who drank too much. But, instead of fists flying, there was a push followed with the assaulted dropping to his knees, turning the other cheek in a manner. For all our christian-value rhetoric I could never imagine seeing this in the States. And don't think the possibility of alcohol infused conflicts is rare, these people drink to get drunk. Most wouldn't even understand the concept of sipping a coctail. Inhaling is the norm and I've seen more than my fair share of people tossing their last drinks in dark corners or helping their desperately balanced challenged friend on the walk home. The shame of being involved in a fight simply outweighs any western conceptions of pride. Here, honor, especially among friends (and these two were likely friends based on the observations of the others trying to dissuade the conflict), is valued above all. The point is, if this type of choas can break out in this peaceful country's most venerated institutions, what makes us think that we are immune with a congress that is still debating the rights of owning automatic weapons and trying to repeal the Brady Bill? Who knows, maybe a bench will be hurled from the rail thin arms of Pelossi over a pro homosexual discrimination bill.

Music: The Reindeer Section

life warming

2004-03-15T20:45:00.000-05:00

First off, a little complaint about the smoking situation here. They put wet napkins in the ashtrays I guelkijkooiuyuiokiolkiujikokkijkji (pardon that, I got some foam on the keyboard and had to clean it off), where was I? Oh, I guess it makes it easier to extinguish and clean but if you're like me when you're sitting here trying to get some writing done you tend to put your cigarette to the side as you type, occasionally lifting it up to take a drag. The alternative is to leave the cigarette in your mouth but in a room without much moving air smoke inevitably gets in your eyes and make you squint like Popeye. Something has to be done about this. But, then again, I'm always the only person with a laptop at a coffee shop writing.,.

Today is White Day (March 14). This is sort of a reactionary holiday to attempt to balance out Valentine's Day which here mainly is the woman treating the man. So, White day is the opposite, the man treats the woman. They thought this was such a great idea that now there is a holiday the 14 of every month. Next month is black day, it's for all those unlucky bastards that didn't get laid the two previous months. You get together with all your other single friends and eat black noodles, cry in your Soju and talk about how desperately you want to be with someone and console each other in your collective loneliness. Ok, maybe I added some flourishes there but that is the basic idea and you do eat black noodles. After that I think it's tapioca day or something, I'll let you know when the time rolls around. But, there are hellava lot of couple around today, more than usual. Sometimes dressing in unison, usually not without at least one camera between them if not up to three when you count the camera phones that everyone seems to have. Ok, there goes a couple walking by in matching blue "Italia" sports jackets. Sometimes this can be too much. Funny what can be a catastrophic fashion mistake in one country can be an endearing show of affection in another.

Okay, a moment about the flesh colored tights. The gist of it is that almost all the women were them. I feel like this is what would happen if all the Asian Hooter's women escaped, multiplied and swarmed the streets in civilian clothes. Haven't gotten a good answer on this but it's up for speculation. More than likely a simple transition from a more sexually closed society to a more open one. I'll talk more about the perceptions of sex at some point if I can actually get any Koreans to open up the subject honestly.

The weeks are proving rather uneventful for aforesaid reasons but the weather is picking up and actually inspired me to go out for my first Korean run last night. I felt good but didn't go too hard and look forward to getting back into making that a habit. Even though I ran on a rather large public street it was comforting that I was not stared at like I expected with my glowing white, skinny legs and all. Last night I made it out to the PNU area again (Pusan National University) which is thriving with life. P- & A-, the couple who helped get me out here live in the area. P- actually teaches at the University and they took me out for a bit. I was a loser and missed dinner but finally made it out for drinks afterwards. I was mainly looking for some good conversation and they took me over to one of the western bars called "Crossroads" that was rather cozy if not a little bright. A lot of the bars and places tend to go a bit overboard with the light. A- says this is because for so many years electricity was a luxury and as the country has developed over the last 20 or so years, and everything is affordable, that they tend to make it feel like you're under one of the dental lamps every time you walk into a place. Good if you want to check out a person across the bar, not so good if you're hoping for some flattering soft light to cover up a pimple that decided to plague your weekend. It also makes dancing a bit intimidating.

I'm chopping this entry in two, another soon as half of it is already written.

Music: The Remote Viewer - Endorphined

hebetude
______________________________________________________
"The worst that being an artist could do to you would be that it would make you slightly unhappy constantly."
J.D. Salinger
9 Stories (160)

overdue fiascos and the most honorablest mention

2004-03-09T20:45:00.000-05:00

Long absence. Internet finally and I have the key to my apartment tonight.

First off a solemn note. I know it's on the news but Spalding Gray was found dead this morning after an apparent suicide. For any of you who have heard my discourse about why I carry a flask to a bar and how one goes about successfully refilling your drink without anyone noticing, well this is the guy I stole that pitch from. Most of you know I'm not one to watch all that many comedies on TV or in the movies, but this actor/writer/performer/emotional exhibitionist who wrote in such a naked and humorous way about life is someone I greatly admired. Here is a man who, whether it be on stage or on film, could sit down for two hours and hold your attention with no accessories other than a glass of water, a prop book, a desk, a couple lighting changes and whatever clothes he happened to be wearing that day. He told you stories with only small flourishes from his own life and razor-sharp observation that left you questioning if you should be crying in the middle of your pained laughter. A person who could talk about being in Russia begging for a drink and then have you rolling with a simple one line deliver of "One day, no Vodka". I think I must have been in high school when one night I was channel surfing and saw this middle-aged, greying man sitting on a stage. I'm not sure what caught my attention at the time other than it looking like he was doing a theater piece and wondering how it got on HBO or whatever move cable channel. Then I got sucked in. Here was the George Carlin of the stage without the bitterness. Here was a 40 year old child who at once saw innocence while dealing with his own depression. Sorrow brought on precisely because of the struggle that innocence leaves on an aging person who is great enough to maintain it. I regret not backtracking when you brushed past me outside the Paramount in Austin a couple years ago. It hit me moments too late once you'd dipped back into the theater. There was a presence that was at once as light as the clouds and at the same moment carried a weight heavier than most people dare face. I could barely make out the feeling as I stood between the two outside the door, my bafflement in hand. Mr. Gray, wherever you ended up when you jumped two months ago and washed onto the dirty shore that our cultivated and mature world has built in the name of progress, I hope you have found your peace. It's a desperate truth that so bare and warm a light is so frequently extinguished before its time.

So, did you ever hear the one about the stupid foreigner who paid about 300% too much for a 3 dollar cab ride because the incorrect denomination looked strangely familiar to his home currency (or maybe he was just stupid and not paying attention)? Then, as he stood knowing something was wrong in front of the two audience-less and unenthusiastic dancing advertising girls (there will be a whole entry at some point on this phenomenon), took off into a sprint down the street weighted by a needlessly heavy backpack to recover his lost funds? Did you hear that the taxi turned before right before he caught up with it, the driver thinking 'damn those foreigner tip well..."

Well, what about the one about the same sometimes absent minded guy readying his pockets after a day at work only to leave his keys sitting dead-center of his desk? Well, he got home unable to enter it. Slept on his coworker's floor.

Then there was this guy, who after a night of sleeping on someone's floor came home to an apartment flooded by his mysteriously pissed off washing machine. Then he went down to get the superintendent on this one, further reinforcing his expectation that foreign residents are nothing but pain in the ass monkey's with big eyes. Well, that's how things go.

Now, I would like to say that these things happened to different people, but in fact they've all been the situations of yours truly here in S. Korea. I'd like to think that I'm in the clear now but bad things do seem to happen in threes, and the first of these tales happened a couple weeks ago and I believe this disqualifies it from the trio. So, what blunder, accident, act of god will await me tomorrow? Tune in tomorrow, same bat time, same absurd channel.

Ok, this entire entry has nothing to do with Korea per se. And I'm just going to leave it at that. I have another entry in my head, and it will have to wait for tomorrow. Sorry folks. Next one actually will deal with life here.

"I remember standing in that second-story window and looking down, wondering if I really had the courage to jump and if I did would it kill me from such a small height. I think I figured I'd just break a leg or something and end up in a cast for the rest of the summer, and that would be much better than dying because of all the attention I'd get. But then I also realized that Mom wouldn't be able to give me any attention, because she was cracking up and needed all of it for herself."

-- Spalding Gray
from Impossible Vacation

Music: Broken Social Scene
Mood: Shit, figure out from the entry.

It's really late, this is really long and I've not said half of what I need to so I'm going on to one more topic somewhere in between the tone of the preceding topics of this entry. Let's start, shall we?

Saturday night and life in a nutshell.

"There's no doubt in my mind that once you begin to have a clear sense that you are going to die, you really begin to live — and that's all there really is, because the meaning of life is in the living of it."

– Spalding Gray

"I remember standing in that second-story window and looking down, wondering if I really had the courage to jump and if I did would it kill me from such a small height. I think I figured I'd just break a leg or something and end up in a cast for the rest of the summer, and that would be much better than dying because of all the attention I'd get. But then I also realized that Mom wouldn't be able to give me any attention, because she was cracking up and needed all of it for herself."

-- Spalding Gray
from Impossible Vacation

Something White, Lots of White

2004-03-04T20:44:00.000-05:00

Sorry, for the absence. The weekend found me slightly ill and this will be a short entry but more soon. Internet access soon, tomorrow or Friday I promise!!

It snowed today. Caught us all by surprise, I walked out of one of the windowless classes, kids were twisting and flying every which direction at twice the normal speed. I was only slightly confused when my director informed me of the surprise in the weather. Snow here is about as common as it is in the southern part of Texas, every few years at best. Since the oldest we have is 14 and the average is about 11, this is the first snow that many of them have ever really seen. Many probably harbored the same fantasies we did coming from warmer climates. Images of snowmen, snowball fights and school cancellations. The reality in the south is that the snow is usually melted by noon and if you get out early enough you can scrape enough of the thin layer of snow from the roof of five cars to make one snowball. You exchange this with the one friend who lives on your street and desperately try to salvage a second round but rarely make it to a third before your supply is exhausted. A snowman for the Houston-born (and Busan-born) child will likely remain a fantasy of christmas specials and Dr. Seuess books.

Our northern-born parents will tell tales of being snowed in and how the frigid, bone-wearing weather is one of the reasons they flocked to the south to enjoy six month summers filled with as many mosquitoes, hurricanes and humid, sweat & fever inducing nights that a rational person could ever dream of. But then again, I was wearing shorts in January before I left. As for me, it's cold out, I'm warming up with my wine since I'm out of whiskey. Back to class, it was exciting. Dreamy eyes were always drifting to whitewashed windows longing for an escape from the school sentence. One of the millions of advantages of good public transportation is not its ability to withstand inclimate weather, school will go on tomorrow. The subways will run and even if there is a bad freeze, things will be slowed but never come to a stop and these kids will only have to face their normal 12 hour school days under the burden of heavier coats, gloves and a hat. Their eyes long for the window not only in hopes of play but also for a break. We offer none.

It's late at night as I write this. I look out my window onto a busy thoroughfare usually populated with the green topped lights of hundreds of taxis. Only four are within eyeshot. The mountains surrounding Busan I like to imagine are briefly white beneath a dark sky and fuzzy pollution. The streets gently carry a semi-gloss. I wonder how I'll wake up other than being terribly cold.

Music: ...Trail of Dead (Mark David Chapman)

Familiar Weather

2004-03-03T20:42:00.000-05:00

I've got my writing hat on, let's see where this goes.

So when we last parted, I was strapped for time and had to jet because the fuzz had caught onto my trail, wait, wrong book...

No, so I had to get all the way back to my place, make a call and then come back to where I had started in Seomeon. Well that started ok. Aside from the lack of familiar faces I was walking around with the tunes in my head making my footsteps light. I was buzzing through the little underground shopping mall on my way to the subway stop and thought I was going to make good time. Well, wouldn't you know it if someone didn't move the damn subway! I mean really, I walked exactly the way I came, made it to a dead end and scratched my head with that dumbfounded look that our (Republican readers please skip the next five words) President has made so popular. And you know what? No subway. So I backtracked my path like they taught us to do in the Boy Scouts. I peered through the windows, finding the same 80 stores peddling their suits, nike shoes and sportswear, and ladies lingerie. I pulled out the compass and it confirmed that I was in the middle of the underground shopping wilderness. I climbed the stairs back to the street level hoping to find a landmark to put me in my place. It's funny how one's sense of direction can get so jacked when you're 60 feet underground. The street was of little help, all the signs were still in Korean and the magic marker I had hoped for was nowhere in sight. I descended again, beads of sweat around my ticking watch betraying my good mood. I walked back the same way, and wouldn't you know it, the subway had moved back to where it had been absent only a few minutes before. So, somewhat relieved I happily jumped on the subway going the wrong direction.

One, two, skip a few... So I eventually made it back miraculously only about 20 minutes late. We all met up. It was me, A, the lovely young woman who was my recruiter and got me here along with her boyfriend P, the two other foreign teachers from my school (J & S) and our Korean friends who all had somehow managed to find sake which they had been sipping on since I had left them several hours earlier. We hit a western bar and had a Korean Manhattan. This was a typical Korean moment. When you do find a place that serves cocktails, don't be surprised that the drink that is supposed to be mildly sweet and have a cherry anchored to the bottom is replaced with an olive. Furthermore, don't bother to question where they got the olive when you've been to a dozen markets and have not seen a single olive for sale. Some things are best left as life's little mysteries. But if you do, don't look at the movie posters that act as some sort of status symbols for bars and coffee houses here and wonder why they seem to be sole purveyors of American flop films starring Winona Ryder and Richard Gere as star crossed lovers. Don't look around at the cafe and wonder what exactly they were going for when they drape fake vines through the bars that separate the tables and then match this with cow-print sofas. Don't be taken aback when you nickname said coffee shop The Romantic Cow and whatever happens, never question this country's fascination with Kenny Rogers which you WILL find on a signboard at least once every two subway stops. It's a Korean thing you wouldn't understand I don't imagine I'm going to either. Now, back to my dirty Manhattan.

So, now it's near 1 in the morning and since I decided to hold off on a second drink I'm game for another stop. We hop in a taxi and meet the party up at the Vinyl Underground which thanks to no copyright enforcement can happily use the famous banana as their logo. (What is worse is seeing the plastic surgery advertisements on the side of the bus featuring a rather famous picture of my beloved Audrey Hepburn, but I won't go into that tirade currently). The music, well, the best of Hip-Hop circa 1992. I head House of Pain and even a little MC Hammer. I have a suspicious feeling that they're buying their vinyl from the same place that supplies the movie posters to their cafes. But I don't want to sound overly critical. We actually had a really good time even if the lights on the dance floor were a bit better for sunbathing than dancing. At least you knew what everyone looked like, warts and all. I think my fair complexion blinded a couple people unexpectedly but no one said anything so we continued to dance. Oh, I should mention that the DJ's, well they were foreign. I never heard them speak so we're going to pretend they were Australian just to save American face.

Drizzling night but not too terribly cold. We went to the third place that was pretty much across the street. This is about 3 a.m. or so. I get one more beer and scratch in my little black book Hey Ya! (Outkast) on a couple pages holding it up to the DJ. The atmosphere at this place was a bit more to my liking. You walked down the stairs to a basement environment. The ground was wet from sweat, beer or a mixture there of. People were bringing the rain and humidity in from the streets by the bucket load. And for a brief moment, when we were all out there dancing I felt I might had been back at Nasty's, except there were no black people. That is one constant reminder of where I am. And it's not the absence of blacks, or any particular ethnicity. But you look at this huge city of 4 million, you crawl through the streets, lean to the left as a scooter brushes past you on a sidewalk or U-turns in the crosswalk, you go the market searching for peanut butter when an old woman bumps you in passing without any acknowledgment, or perhaps you look at the university area, look into an elementary playground, into an office, a kitchen, construction sight or corporate meeting, they're all asian. True, every once in a while, you'll catch a sidelong glance at someone like you, probably with the same job, but these are such an ultra minority. This is a city the size of Houston, and I think it's a realistic guess that the non-asian community sits around 1% or below. Not that this should come as much of a surprise, but from western sensibilities you walk the streets of Paris, Rio, London, NYC, San Fran, hell even Tallahassee or Istanbul and you expect some sort of a mixed pallet exiting the subway during rush hour. I'll talk more about this at a later period because I think it deserves much more exploration and this entry was supposed to be about the weather. So I'll just mention in conclusion, that back at that last bar, I went to get a coke because I wasn't really drinking that much, and I let my American sensibilities get the better of me. You usually expect a coke in a bar to cost you no more than a buck or two, always cheaper than a beer or alcohol. Well, I paid 2.50 for my beer earlier and 4.00 for my coke. Maybe this is why most of the Korean men are stumbling most nights.

Well, the weather, it's a bit like Houston. You can wake up, stumble to the bathroom and notice that it's entirely grey and drizzling, fall back to sleep for another hour and wake to clear skies and no trace of precipitation. You can go out in heavy coat on Friday night and the following afternoon find a light sweater making you sweat even though you can't see the sun through the clouds. That it for the evening.

I'm running desperately low on tobacco over here and am not feeling terribly anxious to start smoking the pixie sticks people find so popular over here, so if anyone wants to help out....

And to all those who've been so good to email, thank you. It helps immensely but I apologize for being a bit behind on responding to everyone. But please, keep them coming. I'm going to go climb in bed with Los Hermanos Karamazov.

xoxo,

-c.

Music: Elvis & Mr. Otis Redding

initial response

2004-01-10T20:41:00.000-05:00

So, I’m sitting in Houston and trying to figure out what to do next. I have roughly around a week till I leave and to say that I’m feeling fine and perfectly at ease with everything would be to lie out my ass. I’m looking over my funds, seeing what else I need to buy, who I need to talk to before I leave, etc.

So far on the list:
• a year’s worth of deodorant
• a cheap watch to cover up the tattoos on my wrist
• a pair of comfortable black shoes for the classroom
• underwear! You always have to be prepared in case I can’t find the right color abroad.

As far as Houston… anyone who’s been here knows what to expect. Aside from the unusual nice weather they’re having I still have to drive 20 minutes to escape the suburbs and find anyplace halfway interesting. For the time being I’ll be living at this little café, Agora, on Westheimer that has added free WiFi access to its menu. Houston being the capitalist center that it is, has obviously been very reluctant to adopt the free model of Internet access. In general, if you find it here you have to pay for it. One of the 1,234,348 reasons why I will never call this town my home again.

New Hampshire primary results start coming in around an hour from now, let’s all hope and pray to whichever gods we prefer that my man Dean makes a comeback. Kerry will get my vote if he gets the nod, but I doubt that I can passionately campaign for him on many issues other than being anti-Bush. I simply see him as your typical politician, spoon-fed instructions on giving sound bites for the last fifteen years. I respect his Vietnam experience and his resulting anti-Vietnam stance when he returned, but it’s not enough for me to make him my candidate for president. Additionally, if he’s unlikable to a southern liberal like me, imagine how he’s going to appear to all the other southern moderates. Dean might be from a “blue state” and come from a wealthy background, but he by no means comes off as a Yankee aristocrat. I still believe Dean has the presence to be a true leader. I’ve said that for the last few elections I, and I believe many other people, have been voting against people more so than for a candidate. That has to change, it’s symbolic of the larger problem our deteriorating democracy and the general public apathy in this country towards everything. All the pundits are sitting around criticizing Dean for his Iowa speech when, if I listen to old speeches of FDR and Truman I heard much the same passion as I hear in Dean, and we called them leaders.

I’m just getting this thing going. I might very well divide up some of the subject matter into different journals.

I’ll go ahead and label the stats of the city I’m moving to:
Pusan –
Population: @ 4 Million
Location: Southeastern tip of Korea. A big port city. Beaches, Yippee!!
Distance to:
Seoul: 141 Miles
Osaka Japan: 428 Miles

And more to come…