transformation or just sheer dissatisfaction?

Well, the results are final except for Virginia which hopefully promises to be less controversial than the last couple of recount fiascos. Yes, a signal was made that many Americans are at the least upset with the war and dissatisfied with Bush and furious about his handling of Iraq. But, is this represent unequivocal support for democrats and their "vision", me thinks no, at least not yet.

It was a nasty election cycle even for US politics and I'm happy to see that it is over. Now the challenge comes for Democrats to push for enlightened action and policy. There is quite a lot of fractioning inside the party and it is imperative that the Dems develop a cohesive strategy in the next year if this is going to carry through to '08. I hope they will play the role of the big man and not enact revenge on the Republicans as both parties have been guilty of in the past after a change in power. This does not mean that the Dems pledge for accountability should be forgotten or that some subpeonas and possibly indictments might be called, but let's not screw this up folks. You hold the reigns but don't ram the damn carriage into a wall in all your excitement.

Lets lay out firm goals for Iraq within a reasonable time, call it a timetable or whatever other synonym you want but lets let the people know what to expect from this mess and how we're going to address it. Lets get back to that fragile economy and honestly deal with increasing the minimum wage and meaningful job growth. Lets face those twin elephants in the room that everyone is ignoring and find a way to address medical care and education. Lets push through legislation that requires a real reduction on fossil fuel dependence. Taxes? So be it if their targeted correctly, how about wastefulness gas tax on all purchased vehicles that are in the lower 40% of fuel consumption. How about we put a 30% premium on them?

Will Lieberman consider coming back to the Democratic fold? I have to admit, I was pushing for Lamont but I'm willing to welcome him back with hands outstretched not only for that critical edge as the majority but also for his experience. He'll probably continue as an independent and I don't begrudge him that (feeling betrayed by his party) but if he wants to come back by all means let him.

Too much to write about and I need to get to work. Let's give it a few days to let the rhetoric and excitement settle and make sure the Dems get Virginia.

Sunday in Odaiba

The weather was nice enough, Keiko was brave enough and so at about noonish with perhaps a little shortage of time enough, we mounted our steeds and headed to Odaiba, the man made islands in Tokyo Bay that seemed to be built to praise all that is kitsch and modern. Keiko got her bike a couple months ago and has been building her confidence slowly and this was our longest ride yet. In the beginning she was hesitant to ride on busy streets and insisted on obediently waiting at all red lights. She spent about a month commuting to work, took the bike out on her own to Kawasaki and other places and has since really become much more assertive on the bike. She's riding a little 650 Tokyobike city bike with 9 gears (?) and a frame small enough to meet her almost 5 foot stature. Me, I'm still on my 20+ year old Peugeot fixed-gear conversion until I find the money for a track frame. On the way back I rode mostly behind her just because it feels a little safer (somebody will hit me first) and she could set the pace. I was impressed at the speed she was making expecting it to be a bit more leisurely but instead I actually had to work.

Well, we made it Odaiba, or Daiba, a little before three in the afternoon and after passing "Tokyo Big Site", convention center and event space, we happened across "Tokyo Wedding Town" or something to that effect. From what was available to the general public this wedding theme park of sorts had all the shops you might need to plan your extravagant affair, dress shops, tuxedo rentals, cake shops, hair, nail, etc, all set among cobble stone streets meant to resemble the historic little European town of your choice. On the inside and away from pubic view, I gathered there to be western style (fake) chapels and little venues modeled after various countries for the after party. All this created to sweep you out of the neon and concrete of Tokyo into something that was decisively, not Japan. We felt like we had stumbled on a movie set but in reality it was probably more of a wedding-themed Disneyland.

From there we meandered around the island. There was an elevated monorail overhead taking people to the various attractions including a huge ferris wheel, an indoor amusement park and one of a couple huge shopping areas. The development evidently started in the mid-eighties with billions of dollars in investment as a coastal residential area. When the economy plunged in the early 90's the area was considered to be a failure but has since been going through a resurrection. In '96 it was rezoned to allow for commercial space and now is a mixture of modern high rise apartments, innovative office buildings and a shopping hub for those in search of glorified malls. The whole area seems a little unsure of itself. Between some of the impressive and massive architecture there are the remnants of Odaiba park that connect the various areas with grass uncharacteristically growing between the stones on the footpaths. A couple monuments seem thrown in with the idea that "we should have something that looks statuesque or monument-ish here". The bit of grass and trees the connects these huge areas struck me as out of place when the city that has eschewed green space sits in eye shot from any unobstructed view. The areas themselves don't compliment each other but feel as if they have been thrown together with pieces from various puzzles.

In typical Japanese style, we went down a bridge connecting the park to an adjacent mall and stumbled upon a small festival behind some foreign skateboarders practicing their skills. The dancers reminded me of what might happen if an American high school drill team with their pancake makeup got thrown into mixer with the day-glow infused traditional japanese wear and Slash from Guns'n'Roses. There were about 40 men and women doing their dances to an ear-splitting 80's style power ballad and taiko drums. We moved on quickly only to be greeted by a miniature Statue of Liberty at which point I conceded myself to having left reality as I know it. In the next hour we walked through a miniature, and surprisingly not cheesy, Hong Kong on three floors of a shopping area. We ate cantonese style chinese from conveyor belts and watched a trained monkey do his theater complete with roller skates, jumping five foot blocks (on roller skates no less), fainting in slow motion and blowing kisses to the audience.

Dusk approached, we had a long ride back and after a brief coffee stop in Ginza and with Keiko's suggestion we made record time home and watched the most recent episode of Battlestar Iraqtica, I mean Galactica. A nice day even if I didn't get any application work done. That is what today is for.





Bike clothes for the fashionably challenged.

Tottori Sand Dunes 10/08

I know I haven't blogged in a while, sorry about that. Test didn't go so well so I was back at the books again. The math sorta kinda kicked my butt. That and nerves. Anyway, scheduled to take the test again this week, hopefully do better. So there is that and Keiko and I want on a 6 day trip to more southern parts of Japan. I hope to get some more pictures up and talk about the trip when I have time but for now these are a few from our first day in Tottori which is most famous for its sand dunes, yes, Japan has sand dunes!!

deserving approbation

Every once in a while I hear about things that are truly innovative, bold and prodigious in their goals. These things get me all excited and reinvigorate my enthusiasm for human achievement waking the sometimes sleeping optimist inside me. This morning I found buried in a design article in the NYTimes, a reference to the OLPC, or One Laptap Per Child project initiated by Nicholas Negroponte and being led by MIT (with support from Google, Red Hat and others). The idea of OLPC is to produce a rugged, low-power, low-cost, rechargeable, wireless computer aimed as a teaching tool in poor or developing countries. The target price of the first model to be introduced next year is 100$. Yes, only 1/15th of the average priced laptop.

At first glimpse there are some curious omissions from the computer: no hard drive to accommodate bulky video and mp3 files, no glorious video chip to play all those impressive games. In exchange for these absences, the developer brings several enviable attributes that are far more useful for the intended market, students. The computer features integrated wireless networking, something that most of us now take for granted. Here the idea has been expanded and designed in a way to extend the range beyond most current computers. The focus of the networking has also changed. In remote areas, access to the internet for even one computer can be limited, irregular or simply not available at all. To counter this, the computers will be connected directly to one another instead of using the internet as its main thoroughfare. Its more similar to a game of "pass it on" but without the distortions and less time lag. Once one computer acquires information from the internet, CD/DVD, etc, it would then be passed onto other computers in range and connected to the network. What this could allow is one master computer to share necessary information with all the others in a classroom, outside under a tree or even from another students computer at home if a child couldn't go to school that day. And what would they be sharing? Well, that is almost limitless. Everything from arithmetic lessons and textbooks, ebooks for language class, news, just about everything you can imagine or create.

I know skeptics and classroom teachers will immediately think of the limitations of a computer screen, but with books being expensive (new books for every child for one year easily exceed 100$ and many places new books every 10 years is impossible to come by) imagine having thousands of texts suddenly available. Well, what about writing, specifically handwriting? Can your computer do handwriting recognition? While tablet style computer are on the market, most of us don't have them and we might argue that it isn't really important for most people. The OLPC computer has this necessary writing education feature which can be used with a stylus, a capped pen or possibly even a twig. The screen twists around, similar to some very expensive laptops on the market, so that you have access to the normal laptop form factor, keyboard below with the display up above, or as an ebook reader format. The screen twists around and falls back on the body allowing the user read it like a book.

The areas intended to use often have irregular electricity and sometimes none at all. How do you introduce one of the foremost symbols of the modern technological world? Incorporate human generated power. At this time they seem to still be in the finalization faze but it looks like the initial offering will have a hand crank on the side with a 1:10 charge to use ratio. Crank it for a minute, it will run for ten. Perhaps not perfect yet but if power is sometimes available it's probably enough to get the job done and a full charge is expected to last a full school day, better than most of our computers. But, that is not the finished concept. They are exploring more efficient ways to power the computer. One more thing about the crank, because it's aimed at children, the crank itself is durable and easy to turn, sort of a like a high tech jack in the box except the reward is a bit more fulfilling (if less surprising).

To further ease the power consumption issue, they have dramatically modified or eliminated many power-hungry parts of a traditional computer. On our laptops, the LCD or display, has a fluorescent light-bulb usually at the base behind the screen. While that technology is far more efficient and brighter than previous versions, it is still the most power hungry part of your laptop (or iPod, cell phone, PDA, etc.). This computer takes the display consideration a step further without sacrificing brightness or quality. Light will be supplied by ultra-low power LED lights behind the screen. Versions of this are popping up everywhere in new gadgets, my bicycle lights have them and they're extremely bright and the battery life is amazing. This computer will adapt to available light and evidently the backlight will shut down completely in bright weather and still be readable. Additionally, the processor will shut down entirely while not in use. This is perfect during long readings much like the engine shuts down on hybrid cars while idling at a stoplight.

We think, but yeah, I can't even keep coffee from causing laptop life and death scares and these are kids! Right? Well, they thought of that as well as the conditions that many of these children will be living in. While not waterproof, it is for most intensive purposes. There is a big sturdy handle built into the body of the laptop similar to the old original colored iBooks. The computer is meant to be carried like a bag and when shut, all the ports are covered and the computer is sealed by rubber to guard against rainstorms (not a drizzle but heavy rain) and dust. The keyboard has a solid rubber overcoat to seal off the internals in case of accidents. There are all sorts of more precise design aspects to add to durability but you get the idea. But, one addition they have thought of is that because these are kids not only is the keyboard a bit smaller, the keys are easier to press, perfect for small, less nimble fingers.

Built in Mic? Check. Speakers and headphones? Check. Built in video camera? Check. Windows or Mac OS X? Nope. The licensing fee would probably outweigh the total cost of the computer from the get go. Now I don't put it past the Bill Gates Foundation or even Steve Jobs at Apple to offer an operating system for next to nothing or even free for a project like this but why bother? It would require a lot of time, research and money to do so when there are similar open-source (everyone can write programs for them) operating system already available. Many of the more geekier-than-thou people already run linux on their system and this computer will use the same backbone. The benefit of this is that it will be much easier for governments or whoever to write specific software aimed at localized languages for the students. Furthermore, there are already comparable applications available to almost everything you might use on the Mac or Windows computer.

The benefits of this project could be limitless. Besides providing the tools for the fundamentals, what happens when previously unseen talents in the maths and sciences are discovered? Some of the students may lack running water, sanitation and even electricity but with open doors to education these issues could be mitigated in the future. Gifted students would no longer be limited by the available resources or specialties of their teachers. The math student who excels could sit in on calculus classes hundreds or thousands of miles away, even in a second language which they have been able to study through this technology.

So, that is the basics. I didn't really mean to write so much but projects like this just excite the hell out of me and make me feel a little better about humanity. The last project that got me going was when I learned about Wikipedia which I hope most of you (any of the 4 or 5 who still read this) are aware of. I have always have had an overabundance of faith in what the internet and technology could mean for education and alleviating the economic and knowledge iniquity in the world. It is projects precisely like this that reaffirm my hopes.

thoughts about permissiveness

I'm giving myself 30 minutes on this, no more, needs to be concise. (Actually, I edited this 10/31)

Last year I was briefly in Bangkok Thailand before escaping to the beaches. Near my guesthouse was essentially a little Japan tourist town which seemed to be marketed predominately to men. Across from the hostel was a sketchy looking business where the door was sometimes left ajar. What had caught my attention was the occasional glimpses of numerous women in evening-gown style attire lined up on what looked like to be bleachers. Since I was pretty sure it wasn't some formal choir practice I asked the Australian owner of the hostel about it and he described it as sort of like an escort service. He said he thought it catered to Japanese businessmen as a a place where they choose there lady for the evening. Occasionally you would see women escorted into waiting cars or taxis outside. This was Thailand so what happened after you can only imagine.

It took a little while of living in Japan to see the correlation to those places in Thailand and how things work. One thing that caught me off guard here in Japan was what seemed to be very large pink-light districts. These usually consist of lots of love hotels which rent in three or six hours increments, your average adult novelty and video shops and large bland buildings housing various adult-oriented businesses including, but not limited to, massage parlors and hostess bars. These bars are advertised around most busy stations and at night there is usually a couple of men in suits who try to persuade businessmen into the establishment. I have talked to a lot of people about this and the general consensus is that there is no direct prostitution involved in these although some women may choose to develop relationships with the men. Instead it is a lot of over priced drinking and conversation with young ladies. But, this is also related to the business culture here in Japan. The socialization outside of work is a large part of building relationships with your colleagues and clients. So, this is all harmless on one level until one considers the exclusionary nature of meeting the place.

I know that women are free to patronize these bars as well, there is no sexism in that aspect. But, the larger question is how many women would want to? It has been emphasized by many people I have talked to (and exemplified by the tales of rarely present husbands and fathers) that these social meetings are critical in the business environment. When I discuss these places with working women, they often say they might go along to the dinner beforehand but understandably excuse themselves from the next locale. Although women have made some strides in the past couple decades, Japanese women continue to trail every other developed nation in terms of work place equality. I still hear stories of positions in the business culture reserved for men and office workers requesting tea and coffee from their female equals. But, I cannot hold all the blame on the men, although I do think their culture is sexist.

Historically, culture has dictated a rather passive role for women in Japan. Similar to America during WWII, women took over many industrial jobs for absent men but afterwards returned to the home in droves. During the economic recovery period women's roles were still far below men and there continues to be a sense of a women's place is largely in the home and if you haven't married by 30 you're a lost cause. I think the derogatory term is "Christmas Cake", meaning you can't sell christmas cake past christmas. I've heard that this is an older phrase and has gone out of use but while diminished, the comment is still a fairly common held belief. But, when I talk to wives I seldom here complaints about their husbands absence, women here often have vibrant social lives centered around their family and their own friends. When asked about what their husbands do, most say they choose not to think about it. Herein lies part of the problem.

I think women need to make the men uncomfortable. By not openly expressing disapproval they are, in essence, conceding permission silently. I say, go to the hostess bars with the men, be sure to ask about their families and next time there is a company affair be sure to complement the businessmen on how he dotes on his children when talking to the young hostess nearly the same age as his daughter. I say wives should ask about the details of their husband's outings, expressing enjoyment in knowing that they had a good time, wanting to know what they did. Ask for details and accountability, make them uncomfortable. When there are company business or recreation trips, women in the office should get together and stick together. Be sure to go along with the men in all their adventures, use your other female colleagues as support. Whatever you do, let them know that their actions will be seen and held accountable. Silently remind them that whether they like it or not, you are their equals and if they don't like your companionship they should rethink their venues and dated customs

To get back to Thailand, this is how I think it is all related. There is a permissiveness by the women and the culture in general to let "men be men, because that is their nature." Of course, anyone who has spend much time in Japan has probably noticed the absence of physical confrontation. Most Japanese men don't fight but many other cultures would argue physical violence to be in men's nature as well. Here violence goes against cemented modern day moresand is largely mitigated as a result. In contrast, what is seen is a selective permissiveness on some issues and strict rules binding other social mores. But here is what I think, by allowing men freedom to act like this, you do get more infidelity, you do get more adult oriented business, you do get more shallow relationships between husband and wives, you do get a big demand in SE Asia to cater to Japanese and other Asian men (the biggest market for the sex industry there) and you encourage the inequality of the sexes that exists here. Yes, the men need to change, but if there is no pressure put on them to do so and they see their fathers doing acting accordingly, they simply don't see anything to change. If no foul is called, players see no error in their actions.


Okay, I went over time about 4 minutes and didn't edit, at least it's written.

Recent absence and writing practice

Yo, I know I haven't been keeping this up to date but I think only a couple of you still check this anyway. I didn't even write about my trip to Kyoto and Osaka (be the way pictures, are available here) but now I'm reaching crunch time on the GRE. Taking it next week and furthermore I have to start preparation for grad school applications. That is right, I'm saying it out loud, or not really but publicly, I'm intending on going to grad school back in the States next year. Look for me on a campus in your country once again. And a bit thanks to Steven and Jessica who are already turning out to be a huge source of information and advice.

Now, to get myself prepared from some of the writing I'm going to be doing for these applications, I might be posting up some thoughts I have on different issues and things going on in the world. These are largely for my practice but any comments and criticisms would be highly appreciated so please feel free to comment away or email.

NamaRocku is live

The website isn't really done yet buy you can watch it here. It should show up in iTunes in the next couple days. Feedback is appreciated!!

www.namarocku.com

Well, maybe not that blue but I got my notification and I did not pass the test. They don't send you scores just a thumbs up, thumbs down. I think there is a way of seeing how close, or how far I was from it in the future which I'll do. But, so it goes, que sera sera (or however that is spelled). I'll plan on taking it again next week.

In the mean time I working on finishing up all this podcast stuff which is taking me a bit longer than I initially planned. I can get around the editing software pretty well now but it's still a tedious process. The good news is that I now have a bit of a format in mind and some bits and pieces I can recycle, the next one should be a helluvalot easier. I'm working on getting the website up and going but had a bit of a snag because I used my J phone number when I was paying and that screwed up the domain purchase, silly little wabbit, I should have known better. Anyway, when I'm not working during my temporary 6 day workweek for the next month, I'll be working on getting this going full force as well as trying to set up the next one. I have a couple bands in mind which I need to contact and see if they have any live performances coming up.

But, for any of you have checked out what I have published so far please be honest, be brutally honest, and send me some feedback so I can make this better. Looking forward to hearing from you all. And if you're not sure where to go, click here.

^c.

finally fixed

No, my computer is still not working but a few months ago with the help the help of a student friend here in Tokyo I got my bike working just about the way I wanted. I had originally wanted to build a fixed gear before I left Austin but with my looming departure and two bikes that at the time I didn't have a home for, I put the idea on hold. Fast forward two and a half years later and there you have it. Both bikes, the Haro 24 BMX and the old hand-me-down 20 year old Peugeot, are outside my door here in Tokyo. The latter is now a fixed gear conversion.

I've been riding it around here in Tokyo for a while now but this past Sunday was definitely a highlight. There had been a couple of Alleycat (bike messenger oriented city races, half scavenger hunt, half race) but I usually had to work. Well, me and the group of people I met there, three foreigners and two Japanese, didn't even finish half the race but had a great time meeting people and riding nonetheless. The even was called Mixpressions and consisted of a skidding, trackstand and backwards circle competitions in addition to the race itself. I'm still learning to trackstand, can't go backwards except by accident and can't really skid at all but it was a blast to watch. Furthermore the even ended in a Barbecue and more than anything gave me the opportunity to meet some people in the bike community here.

It's holiday season (for other teachers) which means I'm picking up extra shifts for a few weeks and right not need to split to get to work. I've been bad about pictures as of late but I've been busy with a bike business idea and beginning the NamaRocku podcast but I will get some new pictures up very soon. In the mean time one of the hosts of the event, Booooooo , posted up much nicer pictures that I'll have here which are worth a look.

Lastly, about the podcast, it's almost ready. I have to finish the translation, audio levels, subtitling, credits,get permission for the credits song, etc. but I hope to have it submitted to iTunes in the next week or so. Also, there should be a new website coming to host it so it downloads faster. In the mean time there is a preview up here and any feedback is much appreciated.

Things that make me happy recently

Things that make me happy recently:

PSAPP
Kazumasa Hashimoto
Super Duluxe
The Ninja
This American Life

what is keeping me occupied at the moment

So thanks Sam for the email and the nudge nudge, I need to start doing this regularly and I'm actually a bit excited about a couple things so in reality I have a bit more to blabber about these days.

First the bad news, recently I've fallen off the wagon about smoking and I also took a plunge a couple weeks ago on my bike when my front tire got caught in some train tracks but these events are unrelated. My shoulder should be back up to speed in a few more days. As far as the smoking, well, let me just say I'm a bit more pleasant person to be around these days and I'm willing to bet that Keiko would agree. Anyway, she fought the good fight as I cheated here and there because the stress was getting to me. She didn't want me to start again, we both knew it was a slippery slope but the failure is entirely mine. The time will come, in the mean time, on with life.

So anyone who has talked to me that much recently (this includes very few to nil largely because of my own errors) may have heard about a couple ideas. One involves this bicycle obsession and a possible business model that I've yet to get off my lazy butt and really begin to research. The other is a very recent idea and I don't think I've told anyone stateside about it. Anyway, it's already on the move.

Keiko got me a new iPod as a belated birthday gift after mine went kaplui on the flight back from the states (I have no idea). I now have a still-shiny black 30 GB iPod to tote around and back up all my stuff. Because it has video I've also started to become very interested in podcasting and video podcasts. One thing led to another recently and I knew a friend here with a video cam so I thought why not run the idea by him and give it a shot. It's not a ground breaking idea but so far I don't see anyone else who's jumped on this particular podcast idea. So, I mentioned it over lunch on Friday by the end of the day we had potentially scheduled a second episode and the following night we were off to begin filming the first.

So it's real simple. I go see bands, get some video of them playing live. Do a short interview and pass on the contact info. Eventually there will be a website that gives additional info, possibly a free MP3 or so and anything else of interest about the band, or I might just help the band set up a myspace page and let them run with it. Simple, right?

This is my first foray into anything video and I'm already realizing just how much is involved. Don't get me wrong, I expected a lot of it but it's just going to take me a while until I get the tools under control. In the past couple days I've spliced together a few clips as sort of a preview here for anyone who wants to check it out. It has no titles, talking, info or me. It's just some clips with some music as of right now. I'm hoping to get the whole 6-8 minutes finished in the next couple weeks but I have to film the show intro and the interview which is not easy to schedule in the city of two week advance appointments for pizza delivery.

In the mean time here is the link and please, anyone with any feed back or suggestions please send them on.

this is only a test

A something or other post

Three high school boys in a small park fixed themselves statue-like along the edge of a decaying old fountain. Panting after I finished my jog, I watched them from the edges wondering what they were doing. At first thought they were posing as pop stars for an invisible camera. Owing to the likelihood of my footsteps on the crumbling dirt waking the boys from their meditation, it took me a while to make out what they were fixed upon. I turned off my headphones and was surprised that I could hear nothing except the tired feet of a few late commuters stumbling home from the station. I chanced the situation and walked a bit closer still covered stretching occasionally and surveying the still hidden object of their attention. There were no sounds, not even whispers or the scrape of their shoes on the concrete ledge making an noise.

I often come to this tiny neighborhood park that by daylight hosts the screams and energy of the local kids finding creative ways to unleash themselves in such a small place. The dirt park offers no swings, slides or toys of any kind less the old-fountain, a couple of immovable benches and surprisingly an ungrafittied public toilet. I've watched hide and seek games begin with all the contestants visible from the count of zero; adventurous elementary school kids shooting homemade arrows and climbing the lone, surprisingly rugged tree to get to the roof of the public toilet fort. By night the park quiets and acts as a reprieve to single locals, small groups of high school kids, returning husbands and occasionally myself, the reluctant jogger. The exclamations and flying children of the day contrast with the somber and hushed mood of the nights. It seems that everyone, the occasional couples, groups of friends and likely even myself, are avoiding going home. In this small park people can anonymously sit and briefly find a quiet open space to escape the confined lives of work and home that in this city more than all others, seldom allow for privacy. Even if we all spoke the same language, even if we were all bleeding extroverts, we would not talk to other solitary strangers. It is not the place for that.

I remember many faces glowing by the light of their phones as they frantically text.

I finally noticed a pair of deeper shadows along the concrete barrier holding back the soil and bushes. My first thought was perhaps is was a friend of the boys squatting in the ground, looking down in to an old style camera. But, then I remembered the year and thought if it were a camera it would have the tell-tale glow of all modern day digital cameras which have come to mean for all intensive purposes now simply mean, camera. No, instead it moved slightly and the two shadows crossed each other thinly. It seemed to be a cat, possibly calico but I could not tell without risking disturbing the boys who still were squatting around the fountain and its iron statue of the girl. They had changed their pose only twice for the few minutes I was observing. At first squatting and later standing but both times very still. I waited for the flash of a self-timed camera but it never came. It is possible they were in fact taking pictures without a flash and this necessitated their frozen posturing but I like to think they were instead in communion with the cat.

I look around here and after a year I am still in fact very much an outsider. I think I have very little figured out in general and with many of the young high-school boys who artlessly un-tuck their shirts and pull up the collars of their uniforms, who sit with their short socks, penny loafers legs crossed exposing the occasionally haired leg... they all look slightly rebellious, a bit stylish, a tad 70s glam prep school Bowie and almost all of the ones who carry themselves with any physical confidence, a speck gay. It's doubtful their fashion or actions have any effect on my situation, but, all that aside I still like to think that those few moments I stumble onto in this crazy city are precisely the things that inspire the modern myths about this city. I for one prefer the imaginary possibilities of the evening to the realities of the Tokyo daylight.

Tama-Gawa (river)

Today was a day entirely to myself. My bosses mistake left me with no classes to teach and I decided today would be a day to begin my Japanese studying which I have been putting off lately partly from my semi-preparation for the Foreign Service exam and more because of my horrible laziness over the past month. In lieu of studying much of anything I've been spending time numbing my brain with movies and some tv shows that I've come across. Earlier this week, out of frustration with what I was becoming, I deleted them all in order to give myself over to a more disciplined life. Unfortunately over the last few years I've developed an internet addiction that is on par with with it's uselessness with most people addiction to crap tv and others with things much worse. Even though I like to think I spend my time reading things more of note far too much crap has slipped into my lengthening morning online news rituals. Clean slate shall we say.

Spring is slowly creeping in here, taking a fair amount longer than I would prefer. It was t-shirt weather in the sun today but the moment the clouds covered it you needed a jacket. I'm sitting on a bench now at 11 at night just to get out of my house and it must be somewhere in the 50's but tolerable. The cherry blossoms which have been the focus of so many people's attention over the last two weeks are shaking off the last of the fragile white blossoms and the last of the Hanamis are taking place around me. Soon, I'll be able to sweat again.

I've been trying to get back into my running as well. A small belly has seemed to have emerged over that lsat few months as a replacement for my smoking. I blame it more on slowed metabolism than eating more although I know I have been snacking more than I should. Well, usually I'm content to run in my neighborhood on the hard but smooth concrete streets observing the really interesting residential architecture in my area but recently my shins have begun to complain. Also, because the weather is so nice I decided to go ahead and make my way down to the Tama river which cuts the southern part of Tokyo into the next prefecture. The city, or prefectures, have made the banks along the river pretty much continuous park areas for a good amount of the river, I'm really not sure how much. On my jog today I admired several generations of Japanese worshiping their recently renewed faith of baseball. Although I didn't find any tee-ball, I did find everything else from dad's pitch all the way up to middle aged recreational teams in full matching uniforms. I jogged by each of them one by one, one field after the other as well as a golfing range on the other side and a mini (not miniature) golf course in between the baseball diamonds and soccer fields. Others had set up picnic areas on the concrete banks along both sides while mothers pushed their children in strollers and enjoyed the weather. The parks really seems to come to life, more so on the weekends as I imagine is the case everywhere but even more here.

But that's all for now. Promise to get pictures up soon of the Cherry Blossoms of the last couple weeks. Check back in the next couple days.

skype anyone?

some of you know about this, some of you don't. If you want to talk this is the best way. I usually don't plug anything but this really is FM stereo quality if it's computer to computer. Check it out.



Get Skype and call me for free.

April 8th is now in the past tense

Ahh, helluva weekend but it's finally over. So, yesterday was the magic day of the Foreign Service Written Exam. I was surprised to see as man people taking it here in Tokyo. There must have been between 60-80 people by my estimate. Anyway, I was not allowed to leave for six hours and spent a good hunk of that testing. I'm not positive how I did, it could really go either way. I knew about the format and I've even prepared a bit. I timed myself on a couple sample essays earlier in the week and realized just how out of practice my writing is but how it's even worse writing longhand. My already poor handwriting has deteriorated even further and I think I've forgotten almost entirely how to write script/cursive. Well, this time I at least completed the essay in the proper time but it definitely was not the same caliber I wrote (on the computer) for the GRE a couple years back. Anyway, the other sections I really don't know, just have to be patient and wait.

I'm a historically slow test taker and yesterday proved no exception. I was among the last to finish for each section. Most likely it is the kind of people this tests attracts, especially when you're taking it abroad, but there seemed to be lots of interesting people yesterday. Unfortunately, sinceI was among the last to lay my pencil down during the final section, I didn't get the chance to grab the information of the people I had med during the break. For those few hours we were all back at university going through a semester final.

It has been a while where I've been in an environment where I could talk freely and openly with strangers. I haven't gone to the foreign oriented bars and I've avoided Ropongi entirely by its reputation. Anyway, the situation contrasted drastically to the pack of Japanese university students I saw waiting in single file at the Asahi TV building recently. Lined up in their identical suits, identical ties, identical black briefcases, waiting there turn to try and be the one of 50 that impresses the interviewer. They stood lined up not unlike the Agent Smith character in the Matrix once he has cloned himself many times over, minus the sunglasses and caucasian-ness. Not saying a word but silently looking ahead like bears hibernating with their eyes open. None of that was to be had yesterday. In the first place most people came in jeans or other comfortable clothing with the exception of a few others in suits who probably had to go to work afterwards. The attitudes were such a welcome warm change as well. It was easy to tell that a conversation could be started by simply saying the words "so what did you think?" or some equivalent to just about anyone. This seems so trite but after you've been here for a while you start to wonder if language aside, the Japanese would act in any similar way.

The weather report said rain and in proper fashion (the forecasts here don't lie) it did in fact rain. At least twice during the morning, I walked out to wet concrete and skies opening a bit to show off some grayish blue, very Houston. Katherine (a fellow UT Texan who also took the test) and I had some lunch and wandered around enjoying the day and the weather. While stopping for another cup of coffee in Azubu-juban we noticed one of our fellow test takers who joined us and we talked about our situations. Another very American moment that reminded me of some of the things I really miss. The casual encounters, the ever so slight motivation needed to talk to a new person, even the smaller scale of most cities back home (LA and outer-loop Houston excluded) that encourage these things to happen, these are some of the small things I treasure in life.

Anyway, that is that. I don't get my results back until sometime in July. If I pass there is the oral assessment which is even then only the second step. All said it can take a bare minimum of a year but usually much longer to find out if you are going to get a placement. So, fingers crossed.

Smokeless show-going

I think my dopamine levels are finally beginning to even out to the point where I can sit down and focus on writing. I tore the last nicotine patch (and a bit of peach-fuzz hair) from my shoulder last Sunday night. Monday went by without major issues except for a slight inability to focus on anything ('I'm looking at you but I don't even know what language we should be speaking') that evening. I stepped out earlier on break trying to find someone outside for a smoke break. I didn't want to bum a smoke (that never happens here anyway and I don't know how to ask) but I wanted to stand around it and just smell. Surprisingly, I could find no one. This is probably for the best since I was outside and would have had to stand suspiciously close to have any effect and doing that here might have caused a significant amount of uncomfortableness.

The following day was a holiday and I went out to a pop-punk show alone. By the time I made it to the place I knew I was paying as much to stand in the middle of a smoke-filled room as I was to listen to any music. It was a cute show, I looked out of place being possibly the oldest in attendance and the only foreigner I could tell of. All the bands, every one of the 4 that I caught were ripped from the GetUpKids/Weezer mold that I didn't know was still exerting so much influence, let alone over here. But there it was with several of the bands employing keyboards for these pop hook choruses and jumping around on stage with their trucker hats and sweat flying.

The two bands I really went to see I found out about when I was spending a few hours wandering through the listening stations of either Tower or HMV. This is one of the cheapest pass times here in Tokyo and popular with locals as well as foreigners. Eenie Meenie and Afterpilot are cut from the same mold, so much that when they played they even traded a couple members to play in both bands. Furthermore, they both sing mostly in English. I'm hoping there is a reason for this more than blatant idol worship but I'm not sure. Regardless, playing live they did work their butts off. They brought out a fair amount of fans but it was not from their lack of jumping around on stage or constant confronting the microphone with that one fierce step for a yelled out chorus that the show could have been a bit better. The audience, mostly college age girls, hardly moved. Unfortunately, and this may be because drinking is less of a big thing at shows, this is about par for the course. I do have to admit, there was one girl in a baseball cap and one guy in the front (who had earlier in the evening downed an entire flask-size bottle of whiskey.... I saw him!) who did go all out. Most others stood there looking mildly impressed, I really couldn't tell.

There were nice moments in between and I spent the rest of them wondering what the odds were that someone would offer me a cigarette. I figured this to be something extraordinary high, on par with a small lottery winning. This being the case I allowed that if this highly unlikely event did in fact occur, fate might take it as a slight if I refused and I reconciled myself to accepting this imagined gift. No one offered.

Three days later and I'm feeling better, a little more at peace. I went running, did some of my pushups and sit-ups to try and begin relieving myself of the beer(-less)-gut that has recently appeared. I didn't go through major cravings although I'd still pick up a pack and smoke till my last breath if I didn't really think it was horrible for me. One day at a time.

The next few weeks I'm going to be spending working, not smoking and of course studying for the US Foreign Service written exam. This test is almost exactly two week away and I have been rather successfully procrastinating from it for most of the last month. I seem to have channeled my inner-college first semester freshman and now having done this I need to find a fire to put under his ass.

Anyway, that is all for me at the moment. I do want to comment about this one blog a friend introduced me to today that inspired my lazy ass to get out and write a bit. This guy is really getting out there and seeing what all music this city has to offer although I'm not entirely sure how he affords it. Anyone curious about some of the music going on here check out JapanLive .

Pictures

Heya, got links to pictures.
Our day in the mountains




Our ski trip

on returning from home, Part I

Argh, caught a cold this week. Preparing for Kollin-San to come next week. We're going skiing! I've never gone before and I'm planning on breaking my leg before I go to get a head start on the whole event since we're only going for a day.

The weather here is turning nice and I promise to put up some pictures of the snow a few weeks ago one of these days. Really, I do. I've run into a little rut the past week trying to get myself studying for this damn test. Moved onto Macro-economics and it must be the lighting in the apartment mixed with the particular shade of pistachio green and pepto-bismol pink that soothes my eyes in a way that I keep dropping off every half a page.

Some people have inquired as to how I felt coming back to Japan after the trip home and I felt I should address that, eventually. I have to admit that it was a feeling that I didn't quite expect. I had a great time while I was home. It was so refreshing to be around good friends again and to be entirely free to say what I want in whatever way I want. It was amazing to be able to say whatever was on my mind and to know that if anyone ever disagreed with me, I would hear about it, immediately. I also need to say that I appreciate how supportive and encouraging some of you were. I went home rather unsure about what it would be like and uncertain about what path I might take on in the future. Steven, Peter and Michelle, I have to give a big thank you, largely for your faith in me, it really means a lot to me. Having said I feel a bit more certain that graduate school is very likely in my future. I am looking into it and plan on taking the GRE some time soon after April. No decisions will be made until Keiko and I agree together on the best path but I think it will happen eventually.

About coming back, well to put it straight, coming back to Japan really felt like I was coming home, in some ways more than going back to Texas. I know I've been here less than a year and I realized that it's largely related to having Keiko here but I don't think I would have felt like this if I had come home during my time in Korea. I still miss aspects of Austin. I miss the people, the culture, the music, the BBQ, my friends and of course the weather, but I feel like I have finally severed myself from that city. I think I filtered out the remaining nostalgia for the city and the memories I left with this time will be more concrete and tangible than some of the mush that was previously clogging my mind. It's good to see people doing things with their lives back there, but at the same time it was also a little disheartening to see how little things had changed for some. After the first couple days, there were a few situations that made me feel like I had never left and in reality that is the impression I got from some of the others too, my two years were in reality just a couple weeks.

So on the shuttle bus from Narita airport back to my part of this monstrously-sized city, the pulsating signs, sparkling taxis driving on the left and itsy-bitsy box of an apartment I call home, really felt just like that. I feel renewed coming back. My language ability is still a tad above nil but I'm attacking it with a renewed energy and I'm feeling less intimidated to try it out.

But, in the mean time let me just post this damn thing up along with some new pictures. It snowed here a few days after I returned, really unexpected yet beautiful. The trees were full of grace. Alas, it is gone now.

new stuff

this could be the beginning of a move to my .Mac site, not sure how I feel about the software yet and the page seems to be running slow. Anyway, check it out:

Corbett's New Site