Back in the USSA

But, as far as being back so far, my feelings are mixed. It's weird, getting off the plane and then making my way into the city yesterday, my own country really felt like a "foreign" country. I feel a little awkward going into places, speaking freely in English. On the bus yesterday a stranger told me a I had pretty eyes and at the bar a woman said she liked my beard when I was talking to my friend Peter. That felt strange, even if I spoke Japanese I don't think that would happen in Japan. I had a long conversation on the bus with a woman who may or may not be a little crazy yesterday as she helped find which stop I should get off at. The bartenders, even the guy at the shoe store, talked to me for a long time in a way that didn't seem artificial, just talkative and friendly. Those are things I miss about here that I don't think would happen even if I spoke Japanese.

But then there are other things, all the negative things. When I was waiting for my luggage it seemed like every person had a huge belly hanging over their pants, making me feel even more like I need to start exercising and being more careful when I get back. The moment I stepped on the train here all I could see was how dirty it seemed. Years ago when I had visited the city before I remember how I always was impressed at how clean and modern the transportation seemed, but not now, not after being in Japan on subway cars that are sometimes many years old but still clean and respected.

Here I do like how diverse the place is. I like how many different people are walking around and how expressive people are. I like walking by a Chinese restaurant and seeing and 70 year old black man having dinner with a white woman of the same age. I don't like how dirty the streets are and how sometimes they remind me more of Korea (or even Thailand) than Japan. Yesterday after I showered I felt like I could smell the pollution on the streets and in the air.

Tonight the bar Eric went to was in a "rougher" part of town. Lots of homeless people walking around and it seems like every fourth person on the street lived there, was crazy, or both. I mean, this is San Francisco and lots of people like this seem to flock here, but it's not so different from the rest of the country. The bar we went into was sort of nice and mostly white with a few Asians and others but just outside where everybody was stepping outside to have their cigarettes where all these (mostly black) people walking through asking for cigarettes and money. Patrons going to the bar from their cars or hopping from cabs seemed oblivious to it and to some to degree I acted in the same way if only to not hand out my entire pack of cigarettes to passers by. This is my country... It makes me sad how here, in the 'richest' country in the world that, so many people have to live this way, or more realistically, grow up in life that leaves them this way. At the same time, I appreciate the millions of people who are able come here from other poorer countries and make a better life. There are trade offs, there are the good with the bad. Maybe I'll feel different about it in a few weeks when I've had more time to adjust.

collage post

It was great to have Kollin here. In my time in Asia I've only had 2 people come visit and Kollin is the closest of those. I'm sure the initial experience of meeting was slightly less surreal for me than him. I'm more than accustomed to the flashing lights, ubiquitous video adverts hanging overhead and text that I can't read, aside from looking the slightest bit more weary (he did just get off a god knows how long flight) the absence of time seemed eliminated and I felt just like back in austin, albeit a slightly larger locale.

A week ago we were privileged to go see some local bands play. I met Bo a couple months ago and I finally got the chance to see his band play after a little mistake I made sent me to the right club on the wrong day, exactly one month on the wrong day. But we got to see his band, Worst Taste and were introduced to some others including Salad Bar a very fun, noisy band that sported hawaiian shirts, flip flops and dance routines between songs. Great fun. We went out to an izakaya (late night restaurant) with Kollin, Keiko and half the club before missing the last train home and debating whether to sleep in a park or fork over for a taxi. I'm really glad Kollin got to have that experience, I'm pretty damn happy about it for myself as well. I'm hoping to be able to spend more time with those kids we met that night. I feel much less intimidated trying out my modicum of Japanese when they are fumbling for the same in English.

Finally on Tuesday, the last day and night, we bounced around to different areas and I got to throw Kollin atop of a bike at dusk to go retrieve the camera he left behind the night of the bands. Everything happened so quickly that time blurred and after a nice dinner with Keiko we were parting at the train station and he was gone. It's been great though, it's a bit jarring when those reminders of home leave once again, I go back to the shoebox apartment and the days of talking to hardly anyone until Keiko comes home at night, but so it goes. With Kollin I actually got to check out some parts of my city that I hadn't experienced before. I guess having a friend visiting inspires me to get off the beaten track of my everyday life and invigorates me a bit.

It seems to always takes me a tad bit of time to open up when I talk to other foreigners and especially people I know. Living this life, where I often don't express myself like I used to, makes me live in my head perhaps even more, at least it impedes the brain to mouth flow of words with thoughts and ideas briefly getting tied up behind my nose before a couple of hours or meetings clear up the traffic jam of culture, absence and time.

Keiko and I are going strong, surprising even myself. We spend every night together and often don't go out but that seems to be fine. Occasionally I crave the energy of a busy room or bar but usually by the time I make it to the station that has been quenched. Yesterday was a perfect example, I was going to go into Shinjuku, one of the busiest sections of town that also has one of the best bookstores, but after I swerved my bike between the crowds of the street near my local station and hopped up to the tracks, I let the train doors close in front of me while I stood on the platform. Keiko was sick, I felt bad leaving her at home even if it was for a few hours, the bookstore and the area's swarms of people could wait. I loaded my bag up with junk food, udong and other things I thought she might like and biked back home after picking up a movie I thought would distract her from her cold. Maybe I'm becoming agoraphobic, maybe it's just the shear size of the city, I'm not sure. Later in the evening when Keiko found herself falling asleep, I sneaked out to a local cafe and did some writing for a couple hours, that was really what I needed, a few people around me providing a japanese hum behind my headphones and some time to just put some thoughts down on paper, or, actually postcards in this case.

Quote of the day

ME: I love this song title: Handjobs for the Holidays (Broken Social Scene)
K: You mean like a carpenter?

20 Km in the rain

newpix HERE



Sunday left us with no call from Kollin till late in the evening, we were already eating near our house so not too many tales to tell about day 2 of his visit. He wandered around with friends from the Hotel/Guesthouse and explored a bit on his own. I took to trying to explain the genius and beauty of "In the Mood For Love" to a sleepy girlfriend after a 2 hours dinner. Monday because of work left me with little free time, so onwards to Tuesday.

Kollin woke me at 9:30 in the morning, I eventually met him back in Shibuya at 11 only about 20 minutes late. We had no set plan for the day, it was still drizzling so we started by walking through the slightly less busy than usual streets of Shibuya. After lunching once again at the sushi spot from the previous Saturday night, we made our way towards the Beverly Hills (or one of them) of Tokyo in Omote Sando to see the Prada building and the area in general which seems to have one of the highest concentration of high end stores and nice architecture. Onwards from there to a mid day hello to Keiko and then towards the winding backstreets behind Harajuku. Honestly, we probably didn't cover that much territory but rambled to and fro so much that we found ourselves walking for at least 7 hours yesterday. I actually had not been over to some of the spots we found and was shocked when I encountered a See's Candy Store which I don't think even exist in the States anymore. I bought four pieces and then tried to hide my aghast expression when it totaled over 10 bucks. So it goes. We found a great cafe we could rest our feet and wait out the last remnants of the rain over a couple great coffees watching the wide assortment of Tokyo's best dressed and strangely dressed pass by. We caught up further on life back home and how is business is doing, which is really well I'm happy to hear.

Later in the evening we met up with Keiko to go find some food eventually landing in AC Cafe near Harajuku after passing by a Condomania store (is this a world chain or it is just the most obvious choice in names?). Needless to say, after eating the tasty yet fusion-esque food and downing a couple of drinks, the two of us were exhausted and ready to call it a night. Today, if everything went well Kollin should be on a train to Kyoto and be returning on Saturday. As for me, I'll try to slow down the monetary leakage of the last few days and focus on work. Sunday is another day off to look forward to.

Kollin-san meets Jazzy Jeff first night in Tokyo

Ahh, what a week, I'm hardly sure where to begin since it's been a bit since my last entry.

The weather of late has been nothing but grey skies and days of continuous light rain but luckily the skies parted in the form of a friend coming to visit and bearing gifts. Kollin arrived safely into Tokyo this past Saturday surprisingly well rested which is good since on his first night in town we kept him out the entire night. Thanks to Lito and Guido for providing me with coffee and music. As I write this I am taking full advantage of the both. Now, if we could just get their asses out here as well but alas, I know Senor L is busy with too many projects and Mr. G, well, he'd probably have to find a job first...

Met Kollin near the famous Hachiko statue outside of Shibuya station. He had a native KC-ite in tow who helped guide him a bit looking excited and surprisingly refreshed even though the rain was coming down in sheets. The streets were shining a welcoming leading a nice night. Even though it's been a year and half and the environment probably could not have changed more, life slipped right into place. We headed over a bar for a beer and some long needed catching up. Over a couple pints I got filled in on some of the details of his life and others close to me from that city that seems so far off, and in actuality, is. Since I had worked all day and the weather lately seems to be creating some allergies, I wasn't planning on a late night. We took off for a late dinner at a great rotating sushi bar in Shibuya a friend had turned me onto a few weeks back. Everything is one price pre plate, around a buck actually. You have to order a minimum of 7 plates per person and during peak hours have time limits on how long you can stay, needless to say no one had any problem meeting the quota and our bill for three was only around 30$. Can't beat that.

Our Kansas compadre had left a bit earlier to go see DJ Jazzy Jeff who was playing that night, we were feeling good and unsure about dropping the cash and the time for an all night venture. We walked over and decided against it and rushed back to the station to realize that Kollin had missed the last train to the area he was staying at. For some reason it ends a little earlier on Saturdays which makes absolutely no sense to me. Well, with this and the fact that a taxi ride is completely unrealistic, back to the club not knowing what to expect.

After a brief pit stop for a small bottle of whiskey to lighten the expenses for the long night, we inched into the line we had see a bit earlier to go into the nondescript and completely signless club "Nut". As the case is with a lot of clubs in Japan, this one sunk would would be 3 stories into the ground. I guess this helps with sound control but it doesn't do much for promotion of the place on the outside, there was nothing except for office buildings and a couple of convenience stores down the block. Now, I've brought my own drinks into many a bar and club and in Tokyo especially I had experienced no searching or any cause for concern but as we descended the stairs there were some Aussies stirring up trouble doing the same thing. All I can say, is thank goodness for briefs as opposed to boxers, mission accomplished. Down the rabbit hole we go, further.

There are really 2 floors to the place, upstairs a dimly lit bar and a DJ spinning more mellow dance and hip hop. The 3500 Yen ticket gets you a drink ticket which I use as much for the ice later on as I do for the gin and tonic it originally contained. We meet up with the guy from Kansas and decide to check out the main floor below. Jazzy Jeff isn't scheduled to come in until about 2:30 and there were a handful of other locals warming up the crowd. This is my first time to go to a dancing environment in Japan and I had been warned that unlike Korea, the Japanese were a little nervous about letting it all hang out. This proved partly true. This isn't a huge place, maybe around 500 people total but it was packed considering the size, about the size of the Emo's small stage back in Austin, maybe a tad larger. It was a mixture, unlike in Korea where there probably would have been break circles going on, here it was largely people dancing relatively in place facing the dj booth on the stage. A screen behind the dj projected the turntables that were being filmed from somewhere above. A nice setup overall and in typical Japanese efficiency (the Germans probably love Japan) in addition to a second bar down below there was a vending machine for beer in the rear next to the exceptionally clean bathrooms. For a club like this, there is something peculiarly incongruous about this, but then I'm used to slacker Austin I suppose.

Jazzy Jeff was actually great, I mean I have those juvenile memories of him and the now "Will Smith" doing summertime back when I was in high school and I knew he had gone on to be a well regarded dj and producer but I was impressed. The set went back to high school days but lacked entirely any Fresh Prince material, I can't say I missed that. In fact, although I'm not an expert, his mixing was great and with the video you could really see how much he was really working the process and giving the people their money's worth. There wasn't any of the talking over the tracks or much communication with the audience at all other than through the music. By three I was sweating and dancing with Keiko trying to maneuver our position so that she could see a little better while Kollin was getting free shots by these two insanely tall Japanese women. With the shortening days we left the club a little after 5, made our way back to the station and found ourselves walking down Kohumbutsu street around 5:30 with dawn only beginning to peak it's head up and slamming down the storm shutters so that we could sleep in peace which we did until about 3 that afternoon. Not something I want to do every weekend but it effectively wiped out my allergies and gave me a release that I have needed for a while. A good night, with good friends, old and new.

Big Cities, Pastor, AMANSET and Her Space Holiday

Skip to more pictures HERE

Small bottle of whisky that conveniently fits in a bag that is never checked at the door: 500 yen.
Cost of the show (advance price) + required drink ticket = 4000 yen.

So, to translate that into US money, before I've gotten my first drink or heard the first note I've dropped a little over 40 bucks and it's only 7 o'clock at night, only 2 bands playing, but they be 2 bands from Austin and the entire night ended up well worth my while.


American Analog Set and Her Space Holiday played last night here in Tokyo, I found out it was the first time in Japan for AMANSET which I was surprised by and hence the show sold out. Luckily I didn't repeat the mistake of waiting to get my ticket and even though my other friends couldn't make it I had a lovely night of dancing and seeing familiar faces. Amanset had some technical difficulties with their rented Rhodes but ultimately the sound was rich, clean and LOUD. Kenny kicked a couple songs up a notch giving them a good punch with the distortion peddle. They mixed some old songs with newer ones and if memory serves correctly there was even a track from their first CD "From our Bedroom to Yours" (I think).

It became obvious that quite a few had come for Her Space Holiday who headlined and I don't think anyone left disappointed. After seeing them a couple times post-Kylie Mark and co. solidified my opinion that their live shows outshine their CD's. I haven't heard the new one but while the last one had some nice tracks the energy of the live shows never quite crosses over to the recordings. They opened with "My ex-girlfriend's boyfriend" but actually toned down the Weezer-esque chorus and instead revved up the rest of the song with strong drums and heavy bass. It's hard to get Japanese audiences but there were some bodies other than mine jumping around to the music. The rest of the show featured some new songs and past and everything was beefed up by the mixture of electronic and live drums. Good show, the people left hot, sweaty, tired and in great spirits, exactly how it should be.

After getting a chance to talk and finally meet Mark, the drummer from AMANSET I hung out for a while reminiscing about Austin and life there. For a moment I felt a million miles closer to my old home. Leaving the club I was faced once again with the anonymity monster that is Tokyo, to walk the street half drunken swerving between people worse off than myself, staring at my feet as I faced the crowded train ride home awash in my thoughts and feeling more alone than I have in ages. Maybe it just takes growing up in a city like this to be accustomed to it, but I don't really know if people were meant to live like this, and THIS is the future, at least for a lot of the world. I read about the megatropolises sprouting up throughout China, creating cozy communities of several million over a couple years and I wonder if we're all headed in the right direction if it means living amongst more and more strangers in apartments the size of suburban closets. I'm not at all ready to leave, but I am anxious to see the green spaces of Austin and ride my bike once again and wave at familiar faces which after 5 months are still all but absent here. I'm planning on staying here for at least another year, but I have been thinking that if I find Japan in my future again, or any of several other countries that I'm going to pick a smaller place. I've heard you can bike across Kyoto and meet people with ease because you'll see them several times a week. All a bit like back home and that is something I miss.

Pastor from ATX/NYC was here for a couple weeks and said that it's hard to even compare this place to NY, that it sucks in and consumes that entire city and multiplies, then lays it down in sheets of concrete (my words, not his). Tokyo is a beast unique to itself and perhaps I've simply not found the correct way of navigating through it, time will tell and language is a bit part of the key. In the meantime I'll be waiting for a familiar face to return a smile or wave of the hand as I bike the familiar path to work. Hajimemashite.

long lost update

Haven't been writing, yaada, yaada, yaada... I suck.

Ok, so anyway, let me preface this by thanking Bi and Jeff back in Austin who after much ado, successfully got my old BMX to me last week. This definitely made my day and really, the whole month. After scraping as much of the rust off the frame as I could with a dinner knife I got it together and purchased a cable lock that in the US would be an open invitation to steal the bike, but here is as strong as kryptonite. Theft is not the biggest concern, or, so it would seem.

Bike theft does happen I've been told, really but I don't think that often. Part of this might be there is little reason to knock off a 50 buck shopping bike but I haven't really heard of it happening too much at all. Anyway, that doesn't stop the eagle eyed police, better to be safe than sorry they think, or at least try to relieve some of their boredom.

So tonight, within the last hour, I go to see if Keiko is going to make the last train. She forgot her phone at home this morning and met some friends after work, warning via email before she left the office that she might be late. Well, after she hadn't showed up I thought I would go see if I could meet her for the last train. I waited, sitting on my bike, going around the station between trains, enjoying the wheels that had been absent the last 2 years. The taxis were clearing out as the last train pulled away leaving me with an entire circle to play around on my bike, absent of cars and with few people. Well, she didn't show, she must've missed the train, stay with her friend from work, it's happened before, life in a huge city where the trains go to bed earlier than the people.

I bike around a bit but start to get a little nervous because I've not registered my bike here and I've been told that you need a light, but I'm still unsure if the last part is really a law. But, I'm still enjoying being out on the bike. Fall surprised me last week and I awoke a bit cold and reaching for more covers in the morning. After a couple of days of cloudy weather the skies have been clear and the weather cool and absolutely wonderful. So tonight, I was enjoying just being on my bike and listening to the new Broken Social Scene album. But, being careful I decide to stay off the more pedestrian paths home thinking that there might be a few bike cops overseeing the stumbling latecomers make their way home. I didn't want to get reprimanded for no light.

I go down this little bike path that is usually pretty quiet at night and within a block have one of those 'ain't that a bitch' moments. I'm already going a little fast and as I do, I see 2 cops on the other side of the divided path. I thought one was on a bike but was afraid that the other had a scooter. I pick up speed and turn off, trying to be natural. I mean, it's a BMX and being quick is just how you ride the damn thing, but I guess I have only seen a few in this area. Anyway, I ditch down some different streets, zigzagging a bit between different alleys. I caught a glimpse of a cop on a scooter a couple times a couple blocks over but didn't think he was following me. Eventually I pull out on the main street near my house, the shopping street, just a block or so from my place, headphones still on. And this damn cop on a scooter catches up with me and gets me to pull over. I'm thinking, shit, I didn't do anything wrong (assuming that light thing is not a law), I don't speak enough Japanese to explain much of anything and my girlfriend's AND my phone are at home (I left it there since she's the only one who calls). He tries to ask a couple questions, being polite and not accusatory, manages to communicate that I was going fast through a mixture of hand gestures and a light bulb remembrance of the word fast in English. In between this, he's on the walkie-talkie, I assume wanting to check the serial number on my bike (I hope).

So he's checking out my bike, and then another bike cop shows up, then a another, then across the street a notice a white van with at least 3 or 4 cops inside it. What the f*ck? Even if this was stolen, what are they expecting? Cops do have guns here although I can't help but think in a very residential area like where I live that they would treat them like Deputy Phife and carry a bullet in their pockets. So the big cop comes over, turns my bike upside down to check the serial, radios it in. We wait for a couple minutes and the other friendly bike cop newcomer asks where I'm from. I'm trying to be cooperative even though they had pretty much ruined my evening ride. My earlier thought of having a drink at the bar near my house is dashed, I'm just want to go home... with my bike.

Eventually they get a signal back, apologize and that is it, they let me go. I'm surprised as I take off, quick again (they need to realize this is how I ride a lot of the time and I live here) and make my way home. I mean, I realize the pulled me over more because I was riding fast and probably because it was night but I guess I'm just so conditioned by how we perceive the police in America that even here I feel equal anxiety. It's not really fair for either, most cops in America are fine and just doing their job. I guess they are here, it's just that they have so little of a job to do so much of the time, it takes an entire police unit to back up a foreigner riding fast on a bike.

I'm registering that damn thing this week.

Pictures Update

I'm going to write a real updated soon, but in the mean time I've updated the pictures site with a new menu, check it out: newpix

earthquakes and city lights

Life in Japan, what a mess. No, really things have been going fine. Keiko and I are exploring the rather sensitive nature of developing a relationship between two people who are still learning about the other and all that it entails being from two wildly different cultures all in an apartment the size of a shoe box (and a Japanese one at that which means size 9, not 12). We've had more ups than downs and we're trying hard to make it all work. This is not meant to sound negative, I have to say that all things considered we're doing pretty well. We had a nasty little hump to get over last week spawned by some withheld concerns but spent a few hours and half a bottle of whisky talking it through and have made some progress that seems lasting. Myself, being an expert on the cut and run, find myself in quite a new situation here. In a few hours I'll pick up my first full paycheck, which means that I'll be financially independent for the first time in several months. But still I'm in no position to run if I wanted, this means that I have to actually stick it out and try to make a relationship work, this is very new for me. You would think at 28 I would have a few more long term relationships to look back on and learn from while the reality is that I was the master of short bursts of passion where myself and the other person, as a couple, extended a thin situation out until I eventually cut the ties that bind to move on. Wash, rinse, repeat... I've always been good at that, I guess it is time to grow up. All praise to Nick Hornby for the bitch slap set to the best pop music.

As far as Japan, or more precisely Tokyo, well it is what it is. Massive, suffocating at times, and full of urban beauty with glittering streets and magical lights. Most of you have probably seen Lost in Translation, there is a shot of the luminous dinosaur walking across the facade of a building in some ubiquitous electronic advertisement that is difficult to escape in the busy areas here, well, that image is so true to the essence of Tokyo. That spot is in Shibuya, home to one of the largest train station/subway stations in the world and possibly the busiest crosswalk where a thousand people cross the street at as many angles as people every 6 minutes. To see it from above is like watching the gentle trails of the largest meteor shower possible. The millions of lights fluttering down mixed with the waiting headlights of the cars in permanent traffic tucked temporarily over to the side, this image is most powerful at night especially after a rain where it seems the streets themselves are imbedded with their own light sources (and to that end, sometimes they are). I would be lying if I said I spent a lot of time in these areas, in fact, as I settle down into my more quiet life of books in my apartment, dinners with Keiko, I find these places at times anathema. There is still enough of Austin in me, my beloved city of a measly 600K, where I can bike the streets and be guaranteed a few casual waves of the hand or nods of the head from faces familiar and not, that here, in a land built for anonymity, there are times that the reality check of the world can be a bit too strong in its ability to make one feel entirely insignificant. But I know ultimately it's a different style of life that I'm slowly opening up to.

I have begun to search out the artistic heart here that makes this city pulsate with creativity. So much of it here is simple artifice and the issue is compounded by language difficulties, it takes a time to disentangle the genuine from the mere vanity. In that regard I did get to see a very cute pop weezer-esque pop band a few weeks ago which was followed by some other groups specializing in less noble derivatives. We drank the rest of the evening away allowing the music to recede further from our ears. I've also met a cool French-Irish guy here who I share a lot of the same interests with. If and when I ever get a guitar we've playfully floated around the idea of trying to play together. This could provide impossible since I can't really play, but since the sound we discussed would be more of an experiment in volume, it might not matter so much. More than likely, it was just casual talk. I'll go completely white the day my childhood rock star dreams move a step closer and I play in a band. But my friend did introduce me to couple more people, most hailing from France but also from England. The night I walked into the organ maker's apartment (yes, organs like in a church) I was all but hustled into a room and hounded for political opinions since I was the sole American. I have to say I didn't mind in the least and spent the great part of the next three hours in a trilateral bull session. Ah, it felt good to be alive and arguing, errr discussing.

This is getting rather long, so I'll gut things off here in a moment. I think I mentioned it before but I am now legal here as well. I have students ranging from 6 to 78, pretty wide range to plan for but they're not in the same class thank god. I'm not sure how I could get a granny to do the hokey pokey without stressing over a possible heart attack.

The last Japan observation: Screw that damn earthquakes! I mean, I've been lucky so far, when there was a rather large one a few weeks ago that caused no damage, I was on a superbly built train line and I didn't feel a thing. I only knew what was going on when the train stopped, they sprayed out some Japanese over the intercom and my eyes left my book to see the power lines swaying in the windless sky outside. That one was fine, but the dozens of little tremors drive me crazy. My apartment is right next to a rather busy freeway and sometimes I'm unsure if it is the lorries or something more serious that vibrates the room for a moment. But there are times when they are most definitely that something else. Being from Texas I have never experienced this before. Last week I standing at my school talking to the owner and the secretary when they both looked at me and simultaneously said "earthquake". Their eyes looked like their souls had briefly left their bodies and a moment later the room began to shake ever so slightly for a couple seconds. I shit you not, these people have a sixth sense and as soon as it passed they laughed it off and gave me advice for serious ones. They keep coming at night when I'm sleeping. I haven't been drinking that much here, but the feeling when you are woken from sleep is somewhere between stumbling intoxication and those shots in Fight Club where the faces shake furiously as Brad Pitt tells you that everything in life you believe in is nothing. That is how you feel, momentarily empty, thinking this could be it, at least at night I can find Keiko sleeping next to me (she can sleep through the small ones) and her presence gives me some comfort. When I finally make it back to sleep I feel the images in my dreams are unstable and that even they may fall apart. The Japanese are well aware of the sensitivity of the land this great city is built on and I often wonder how the knowledge of the inevitable "big one" plays on their psyche. How would you make it through life with the knowledge that a small bomb promises at some point to go off without warning somewhere in your metropolis which happens to be one of the most densely populated cities in the world? Do you keep those closest to you closer, or keep your distance because you never know whose number will come up?

Ok, that is all for now. I apologize about being lax on responding to emails, I’m working on amending that.


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"...by that I mean there is a degree of excellence in games or sports that we especially resent seeing reached by an unorthodox opponent, a categorical "bastard" of some kind - a Formless Bastard, a Showy Bastard, or just a plain hundred-per-cent American Bastard..."


-J.D. Salinger
Seymour - An Introduction

picts

I finally got some online, more soon:

picts from June and July

Resuscitation

Sorry guys, I was going to post some new picts but there seems to be a problem, I'll try to get that worked out soon.

Well, the box is gone, as in the box that our stove came in a couple months ago that has been doubling as our table since we moved in. Today it was replaced by a real cafe table (the biggest thing we could realistically fit into our a little place. I'll post some new picts of our apartment soon to give everyone an idea of how we are constrictively living. But it is working out.

I've started working regularly, usually 6 days a week and after long avail, I am now legal. I jaunted over to Seoul last weekend and got my visa along with a little cold. Anyway, as to be expected it feels good to be working again. Even though I'm tallying up 7 day weeks, I"m usually not teaching more than 4 classes a day, I have 3 one day a week and 5 a couple, it varies a bit depending on who cancels out but lately it's been pretty steady. These aren't my permanent classes yet, I'm picking up for teachers on vacation and I'll have a review in a couple weeks and then will hopefully get my regular schedule. For all those I owe a bit of money to, not to worry, my first real paycheck comes in in a few weeks and I'll be starting that long period of paying back all those who have helped me out so much.

In other news, I've met one person and his girlfriend who is cool but because of the dynamic of the city haven't gotten the chance to hang out very much. He did let me know about a rock show last Saturday that was refreshing. The problem with the shows here is that, like this one, it started at 6 in the evening and cost 30 bucks for local bands. Even though only one of the bands was very good the experiences was worth it and I'll try to make it back to some similar events in the near future, money allowing. I've been spending a lot of time at the house, in general getting out even less than I did before. This is the first time I've visited the coffee shop with internet access in almost a month. School demands a bit of time and I've never been the best person to get much done before work even if that time is 6 hours. What I have been doing a lot lately is reading.

Books I need to suggest:
Yukio Mishima Spring Snow: Dickens done through a Japanese lens with a thick knowledge of Japanese history. But, more than that, beautiful writing that is preserved even though translation. I was talking about this book with one of my older students and he regretted that I couldn't read it in Japanese. I understand why, but I was still amazed at how fluid the images were and being far from an expert I think I got a bit of a sense of the how beauty is constructed in Japanese writing with some of the clearest pictures painted to illustrate the smallest details. Eyes are open at all times for this author and he sees so much. This is the first of four books chronicling Japan over the period of about 70 years (from @1900- 1970) before the author killed himself in public, hours after handing in the final copy of the last manuscript. I'm planning on finishing the series out soon but the books here are a bit pricey and trying to find used copies at the stores here is like trying to find Marquez at Half Price, every one in a while you get lucky but usually the staff just laughs. I might pick this up a second time before I even read the next in the series.

Jeffrey Eugenides Middlesex - I picked this up in Korea now knowing quite what to expect. Although I had seen The Virgin Suicides I had never read the book despite countless devotee friends. There was a a 20% discount on all paperbacks and it won the Pulitzer Prize, at almost 600 pages a good bang for the buck. I finished this in just over four days. I've been out of the loop understandably and I guess I missed the hype, my reading selection has bee random at best over the last couple years but I have to say that hands down this stands next to The Corrections as the best book dealing with the real America I have read published in the last decade. Never mind that the story centers around a hermaphrodite outing his/herself, in fact if it wasn't for just one more theme the author was trying to wedge in it isn't even necessary. The book could easily stand on it's own as a novel about confusion coming of age in modern America, negotiating the cultures from which we have come and the reality around us that never sits still. My only minor criticism may be center around the rather energetic ending which I'm not sure if needed although on a second read I might not mind so much. The first half of the book, dealing with Greek immigrants to Detroit after the Turkish/Greek incident over Cyprus could easily stand as its own novel and to me gives us the best characters. Regardless, this is a great book. Jeff, you need to read this, it deals with your city in its former beauty and it's current dilapidation. Teddy, Sam, do yourself a favor and pick this up.

Not sure what else to say as my battery is about to go again. The world seems to be falling to pieces and there doesn't seem that my country has been able to do much to stop it, actually is seems that we're more like confused cheerleaders unknowingly rooting for the wrong team, maybe that is the point. Any solutions anyone? My hope tank sprang a leak a while back and it seems to be growing, plugging it seems as likely as thinking it will all be fixed by the time Bush is out of office. London hit a second time, albeit with no causalities aside from the innocent man who was chased down and gunned down point blank (Sign of the times?) Things are rough in Egypt and Iraq news is rarely anything but expanding body counts. The can't even keep the leaders alive who are supposed to be able to help guide us out of this all. And what do the great leaders back home have to say against this all? As far as I have read, not much of consequence. We can't cut and run, we know that, the bomb we built has a higher chance of going out if we do that. But hope, guidance, leadership? I still haven't been impressed by much. If any of you know something I don't let me know. I don't want to become the typical American with my head in the sand, pretending it will all fix itself if we ignore it, but lately, out of ideas myself and not hearing much of consequence from back home (criticism yes, but I got myself for that. Leadership and original alternatives? Not much) I have a lot of books and a relationship to keep me company, if it sucks me in much more I might not be able to see what the hell is happening.

Tokyo Update and Picts

Ok, there are some new picts.
MADRID
CORDOBA
1st Japan Picts

Sorry I've not posted anything in a while. Lack of steady internet access has me not too much in a typing mood, that an lethargy. It has been 4 months since I actually worked and man am I feeling it. Since I don't have a penny of my own to my name, I'm trying to lie low. This means reading and re-reading the few books that I have with me, cooking most or all of my meals, finding the cheapest place to buy ingredients, basically a ho-hum life at this point.

I am reading a bit. I sat at a bookstore last week and read "Snakes and Earrings" by Hitomi Kanehara and most of "Rashomon" and started "Haunted" by Chuck Palahniuk (if there was ever a writer in need of a pen name...). I've finally finished Marquez's "Autumn of the Patriarch" after devouring "Love in the Time of Cholera" for the second time. That being said, I'm in need of some recommendations although my selection here is somewhat limited. I have pinpointed most of the used book stores in a reasonable distance and figured out which stores have a good English selection (and chairs).

But, I do have a job, or I have a job but it doesn't start for a couple more weeks. It was supposed to start this past week but things didn't work out. The guy whose shift I would have been covering dropped his travel plans last minute. That definitely bummed me out but rather than re-enter the job search I just decided to hold out since this is a good job, convenient location, etc.

So really that is it. I start work on June 29th. The paperwork for the visa is going through processing but I will have to jump out of the country fast to do a visa run, probably Seoul. Domestic life in our small cube is going well even if I don't get to see Keiko but for a couple hours every night. Actually this and last weekend she has been out of town for work, limiting our time together even further. On top of her 9-10 hour days she also only has one day off a week, Wednesday. I need to get out and meet some people but it just isn't happening yet. I think part of that is they way traveling around here can ad up so quickly which discourages me quite a bit, that and the beginning of rainy season, not knowing really where to go, etc. `

Live from Tokyo

Hello all,

Sorry for the recent disappearance, some computer problems combined with my time in Spain led me to take a bit of a break from the computer which was rather well needed. In fact, I'm going to keep this entry rather short until I get a bit more settled.

Let me just say, it was very hard to leave Spain for multiple reasons not the least of which was that my fear of re-falling in love with the country that was well founded. Out of all the places I have been and aside from my first trip to Austin when I was 15, I can't think of a place that I have felt more at home than that country. Madrid proved to have a lot more life to it that I initially supposed. I was half expecting a business oriented metropolis with the masses walking around in suits for fun. Don't ask me where I developed this idea because I don't really know, I guess I was just not expecting it to have the cultural richness of Barcelona. Even though I was there over two weeks, I can't say that it does, but it is damn close. I saw so much and yet I saw so little of everything there. I was swept away by numerous cheap cups of coffee (Cafe con leche and cortados) at the the ubiquitous street cafes, watching people, reading books and in general enjoying the feeling of being outdoors in the heat. This and wandering around the cavernous streets sucked up most of my time and even though I managed to not step food into a single museum, I regret nothing of how I used my time there. Khanh was an amazing host and besides taking me out to several excellent meals (often courtesy of her company's credit card, name withheld) even managed a trip to the south to Cordoba and a small city that I forget the name of in the Costa del Sol. That part of my trip will stay with me a long while and I know that it is a country I will return to time and time again if not permanently.

So now I find myself in Japan once again. Penniless and jobless everything else is amazing, well, actually it's raining but that is minor. Keiko picked me up at the airport, introduced me to our new home which she won't move into for another couple weeks, Jet-lagged and sleepy eyed we walked around Jiyugaoka beginning our hunt for apartment amenities. This shouldn't take to long. In fact, let me put it into context. Anyone who remembers my last place in Austin with Michelle, well, think of the living room where she fit in two couches and the tv stand and all that? Well, that is the size of our apartment. For anyone who saw my place in Korea, it's maybe a tiny bit bigger, actually probably the same. I'm not sure how we're going to decorate the place yet, minimalism is a must, more than a couple chairs and the place will become unbearably crowded, remember, we're going to have two living here. This will be an interesting experience in many ways, but one I think will be reason for much joy. Joy with a capital J.

Friday was such a blur, rushing to the airport, worried that my luggage would be rejected due to weight, saying goodbye to Khanh, a four and a half hour layover in Munich (by far the best airport I can think of to be stranded in), then a blistering neck cramping 12 hours on the plane to Tokyo where I wasn't able to really sleep at all. Now, on the heals of Spain I find myself sitting in Shubuya Tokyo in a world (city world at least) that quite possibly could not be any more different. The streets are teaming with millions of people, the crosswalk alone must have contained a thousand outside the station, everyone seems under 30 and I walk lost among the people, simply searching for a place to rest. It's not as shocking this time I admit, it surprises even me how many places I've been in the last 4 months and how jumping ship to the opposite of where I've been seems but only a slight bump on a rather natural progression.

Tomorrow will be Monday May 16th. I'll shave, put on my suit and set out to begin looking for jobs as soon as I find a place to print out some resumes. I have no idea where I'll go, where hardly even to start nor do I know if it's a good idea to go fishing for jobs absent a visa or if that could get me into trouble, I guess I'll just have to find out. As for now, I need to leave to go meet Keiko so we can go buy a stove, look at refrigerators and a washing machine. It seems nearly impossible to eat anything under 7 dollars here which means that I need to start cooking ASAP.

oblivious in the streets

This is not like any of my recent posts, more for me. I promise to post new pictures and whereabouts info soon. Feel free to skip this entry.

Yesterday and today I've talked to almost no one. Khanh is in Paris until tomorrow night and I've sort of been in a solitary mood. I've been engrossed in a book and just a little while ago finished going through it. Part of me feels like I'm wasting some of my time here but another part of me feels that I needed to have some time to myself, just to reflect on my thoughts. The book I was reading was a bit strange. It's a Japanese/British author, Kazuo Ishiguro, but takes place between London and Shanghai before WW II. It tells the story of a boy who whose parents disappeared when they were living in Shanghai when he was 10 years old. He's sent back to London and becomes a detective, and then later in his life returns to Shanghai to try and solve the mystery of his parents vanishing. That is fine and all, but so few details are given about his being a "celebrated detective" and characters are thrown in that are sometimes distracting. Furthermore, he doesn't seem like a true detective. I was sitting in a cafe reading the climax, and he's leading around a Japanese soldier who he thinks is his boyhood friend as troops are advancing through Shanghai. It all seemed so far fetched and his "friend" seemed to show no concrete signs of actually being the person he thought he was making me question the author's validity as a detective. I felt like in the following pages that I would discover that the narrator is in fact delusional and in a mental hospital.

I took a break to walk around, I found myself drifting through the streets, I was listening to Radiohead's "Hail to the Thief" album, and all of a sudden I started to question my surroundings, who I was and what I was doing here, or if in fact I was here at all. It was weird, even dreamlike, possibly because I was blocking out the real sounds of the world with a rather erratic music selection. I felt like when I let my eyes drift up from my moving feet that I found people looking at me in a curious way. I thought that perhaps a bird had lighted on my head and I'd failed to notice causing me to become quite a curiosity as I walked around. As I said, I've really not talked to anyone in two days, haven't seen a soul that I recognize, and as I was meandering through the streets, eventually back to the empty apartment, I just had this strange feeling that either I was crazy and imagining life, or that I was asleep and dreaming and everything around me was just really my imagination and I would awake in the morning to find myself in a different world where none of this was real. Have you ever had those moments? I used to think about it when I was younger. I mean, dreams don't really have a sense of time. Have you ever had a dream that seemed like it went on for days, months, even years only to find yourself wake up and see you've only been asleep for an hour or less? Have you ever thought (I used to think this sometimes when I was younger) that most or all of your life is actually one really long dream and that you might wake up at any minute, find yourself like 12 years old and forced to relive the the next 17 years of your life all over again? I know I still have dreams, you might even call them nightmares, where I find myself forced to return to high school because I didn't complete a math class for some reason. I suppose that might be my own personal version of hell, forced to return to high school as a student at 28 for a math class that now I have no recollection of since I haven't used Algebra or most forms of higher math in the last 10 years. When I have those dreams I always have to wake and remind myself that it's not real, only a dream. I think I hate those even more than "real" nightmares, the normal scary ones which I usually don't have very often.

Anyway, that aside from a trip to the grocery store, this was more or less my day. I sit now on the terrace that has demanded so much of my time here in Madrid, contemplating what to read or write next. It feels good to really be reading again, I have more to think about, I feel more inspired, I feel more alive. The only thing is that when I get in these moods, I tend to turn myself off from the outside world as my hermit like quality of the last few days show, but sometimes I need it.

they're all on bikes

Pictures of Amsterdam HERE
Pictures of Berlin HERE
Pictures of Copenhagen HERE


They're all on bikes. Some wearing skirts while others in suits, some having a baby in front or behind, they're not allowed to have their partner ride sidesaddle on the back or really have two people on the bike at all unless it's a tandem, but regardless, they're all on bikes. There is traffic too in the well maintained bike lanes raised up a couple inches above the car lanes that run beside. The stop lights sometimes have a secondary light with a bicycle above to make sure the people, bikes and cars all cooperate. While beautiful, it's also a bit surreal for a city that sees only a few hours of light per day during the winter months and sits next to the North Sea on the west and Sweden just a 20 kilometer train ride to the east. Even though the snow is only periodic, the wind can knock people over when it pours off those firgid bodies of water. As much as I love my bike, I couldn't imagine riding it during that time of year, but then again, it would be pretty brutal to walk as well.

So, welcome to Copenhagen Denmark. I've been here since last Friday and am staying till this Saturday with Celeste and until yesterday her husband as well. You know, I'm not entirely sure if it's the city itself or just being back with a couple close friends that makes me feel so comfortable here. I've lived with Celeste twice and Christopher once back in Austin and now here we all are under the same roof again and even though one of us is on the floor and the other the couch, it feels uncannily like we're back home (if Austin had 6th floor apartments with no elevators). Really, yes it is expensive here and I'm not really doing much that costs money because of it, but there is something here they seem to have figured out. I'd be very tempted to move here if given the opportunity although I do admit that the weather scares the hell out of me.

Today we rented bicycles and went through the town a little and then wandering through the national cemetery which is really more like a park. Knotted old trees hang over aged gravestones, some markers towering a couple meters in the air. Hans Christian Anderson is buried there which is one of the most famous people from this small country. But the cemetery/park was nice. Visiting a place for the dead, on this scale at least, as a tourist has always made me feel a little strange but here it is something entirely different. People running, walking and holding hands, there was even a small family having a picnic and a little girl about 3 or 4 had made one grave her personal play area with her dolls while her older sisters were learning to rollerblade on the path next to her. As I saw all this life around, I started to feel that we in fact had it a bit wrong. I'm unsure about the ideas of spirits and anything really once we die, but I like to think that burial places are not made as spaces for permanent mourning and death. If anything, I think they should be places where life is celebrated. Not by some gaudy shopping district running along it's perimeter or carnival style rides inside, but having it be a place that people actually use for "life" seems right. In this way, it's a celebration of life past and current. It is also the case that more people probably see these graves than in most places ensuring that the names of these people might last longer than they do in most countries. Death is not meant to always be a time/place of mourning, instead, let those places we bury people be a celebration of life and a place where we can help keep their memories with us as long as possible.

More soon.

Amsterdamming (a week late)

There is so much to say and I've been really irregular about writing lately. This has been a really good past week in all ways except for money. Let me start off by getting into what I forgot to write about earlier.

Last Saturday myself, Christopher, Andre and Dirk (Germans) and Dirk's girlfriend Camilla (Polish) drove up to Amsterdam for 24 hours. Although the weather, never my friend it seems, wasn't as amazing as we had hoped, the town itself has a lot of beauty. And it is so amazing to be able to drive 3 hours and cross the border into another country and not even have to stop at a border. We just drove through and waved goodbye to Germany as we crossed over into the Netherlands. You hardly would even know there was a border aside from a couple small signs. We drove in and after parking (24 Hours = 43 Euros or @ 50+ USD) finally started to walk around 4. We ate and then ventured down to a Saturday flea market that seemed more like an entire square filled with resale shops. Had I more money and it had not been pissing rain in cold weather, I might have gotten more into it. Definitely something that I could enjoy more on a sunny day. Afterward we checked into a shady little hostel/hotel and tried to think about to do for the evening.

The Dutch are not really known for their food, in fact trying to find a description of typical Dutch food was sort of hard to come by. The cheeses, breads, apple pies and herring was about all I could find out. We had walked through a little Chinatown earlier in the evening and after reading about a restaurant in the travel guide and a local paper we decided on that. Good hole in the wall style place and good food.

Now, the big motivation for most people to go to Amsterdam is obviously the drugs and/or sex, or at least seeing the red-light district even if you don't participate. And I too admit that I was curious in seeing these things, but aside from just seeing another beautiful city, I really wanted to see my friend Troy who had just moved to the city a couple months ago. This was a shocking surprise that I learned about via mass email when I was in Thailand. It seems that my friends and acquaintances from back home are moving abroad, often for love, at a surprising rate. He (like Celeste who I'll get to later) met a Dutch girl while she was in town for SXSW last year. After a year of globe trotting and courting he packed all his stuff on a pallet and moved Amsterdam 2 months ago. Anyway, Troy and Merit met us outside the Chinese restaurant and took us to a nice little local pub around the corner.

Troy and I have never been super close, we worked together briefly every one day a week back home but we've always gotten along. Great guy regardless, always able to summarize life's little problems in a comedic and concise way. he seemed to have an enjoyment for life that I sometimes envied. I just can't say how lucky this guy is (actually several of my friends these days) because Merit, his girlfriend is awesome as well. We sat down and I immediately felt comfortable talking to her. She's really a musician but is doing a straight office job at the moment to appease the legal requirements for getting Troy into the country. I only had a few hours with the 2 of them but I look forward to going back and spending more time just hanging out, riding bikes, drinking and enjoying their little corner of paradise (but hopefully in the summer).

Well, when in Rome, right? Merit at our groups request brought us to one of the more local "coffee-houses". She, as from what I gathered applies to most Dutch, doesn't really smoke pot. It's considered more of a juvenile thing there and is a source of mild jocular frustration between her and Troy. Anyway this place sort of has a low lit bar feel to it. There is really nothing seedy about it. In fact, most of these places don't serve alcohol just coffee, juices and teas. There is a second bar at the back that has a pot menu like a wine list. Yes, it's all true, it's just like you've read in other places and I'm not going to spend too much time going over thins people have already heard about. I mean, it's not technically "legal", it's just not enforced and in general as long as you're over 18 it's not that big of deal. So, you buy your selection, pre-rolled or in bag and sit back and do your thing. And honestly, except for it being a bit crowded, it's a really laid back place to hang out if you don't find the small undesirable (I sort of like the smell, reminds me of music festivals and rock shows at Liberty Lunch). That was more or less our evening in Amsterdam as afterwards we all headed back to the hotel and crashed out, a bit wet and cold. Oh, one last thing. Turns out that for the coffee house we were at was actually used in in the movie Oceans 12. I haven't seen it, but Troy said there is some scene where Matt Damon is in a bar/cafe and that is the bar they used. What do ya know? I'm still irritated that I didn't run into LL Cool J who was in Prague filming, damn shame.

The following day we went to the sex museum which was not nearly as kitschy as I was expecting and is worth an hour browsing around the all the toys, art and videos and history of everyone's favorite pastime. At my request, we headed over to the Van Gough museum but we were not fully prepared for it's popularity. There was an hour long line outside the door which scared us off, that too will have to wait. Browsing around, coffee, venturing into random shops completed more or less our time in Amsterdam and we headed back to the car to admire the mixture of beautiful scenery including the most amazing car dealerships (VW, Mini, Mercedes, BMW, Audi dominate) interspersed with small farms, wind turbines and the occasional office building striking the landscapes and commanding them in their crazy modern way.

from Cologne to Amsterdam and back again

Hey Everyone, first pictures from Germany HERE

Well, I apologize about the extremely long period without writing. Been traveling with company and have not had enough time to sit down and think about the last week. I flew out of Prague a week ago Tuesday and arrived in Cologne to cloudy weather. I had about 6 hours to kill while I waited for Christopher to get in, what I didn't know is that wouldn't happen until the following afternoon. Turns out he missed the plane due to some miscommunication in France and ended up sleeping on an airport floor and then hopping a train from Paris to here. I called his friends whom we were staying with and they were kind enough to fill me in on the details and pick me up after I started to worry that I was going to have no place to stay in a foreign country. But that didn't happen.

I'm still feeling out this city. I think I like the Germans though, life seems a bit more worth celebrating here than it did in Prague even though the latter city wins in terms of sheer beauty. Everyone I've come into contact with has been precisely helpful. The precision and orderly thing seems to be pretty true here. I mean, there is not doubt they enjoy life, but it seems seldom like there is a moment without a plan. Christopher and I on the other hand have been traveling for a bit now and have honestly enjoyed just taking a break and relaxing to some degree. We did briefly go into the "Dome" or the main cathedral here in town that announces itself from every angle when coming into the city and is amazing. I stopped in briefly during my 6 hours of independent exploration on Tuesday but decided to leave the long part of the tour for when Christopher arrived and we could do it together. When I went, The Pope had just passed and there was a procession of people coming up and paying their respects which I observed from afar.

Speaking of the recent event, Germans I've met (and I think a large part of Europe) are mixed about the importance of the church. The Cathedral steps where in the middle of a large amount of repairs, and I think this included some taxpayer money as it is the top visited landmark in the country, all in preparation for a visit from the Pope. Many Catholics here, like Catholics in the rest of the world (at least Europe and middle-class Americans), are really Easter Catholics. Meaning that they usually show up at church only a couple times a year, namely Easter and Christmas. I can understand to a degree some of the skepticism to an institution that seems at times archaic and in recent years has scarred itself horribly. But then for me, who never was a Catholic but admired it from afar because it seemed like such an anachronism in this modern world, here they are, working on getting food to developing nations, sometimes the only peace brokers in corrupt countries, all these things that I admire along with providing hope to millions of people. In comparison, although admittedly Catholics often choose to not participate in difficult questions of faith (at least with me), I seldom ever feel judged the way I have from protestants or more precisely, American evangelicals. So yes, I disagree with Vatican laws that forbid marriage in the clergy, having female bishops and cardinals (are priests allowed?), and its refusal to reinterpret views towards homosexuality and worst of all, their continued obstinance toward condom use, but overall, I don't think this church is the religion of the Spanish Inquisition. Pope John Paul I think did lot to encourage positive and constructive uses of the church, and for this, I respect the man. May he rest in peace and his successor be someone who can further modernize the institution.

But, enough about that. Back to Cologne. We're staying with old friends of Christopher. A couple he met 7 years ago when Jasmine was doing a study abroad in Austin. I've actually met her and her (now) husband, Andre, during that time as well but only briefly. I do have memories of admiring her accent and her waking up on our living room couch/bed way back at that house in Austin near... What was the name of that pub on... near Upper Crust Bakery.... shit, I can't remember. It has been, well, 7 years, an age pounding fact that is not lost on me. Yes, it was a long time ago. Anyway, their back home now, starting their life and about to start their family in another 5 months and were kind enough to put us up and show us around. They both work so in some regards we're on our own, but their always ready with suggestions. And well, we haven't done much. We've looked in some of the shops, gone cafe exploring and have yet to make it to a museum or a second visit to the Dome, which both should be resolved by our departure on Tuesday.

Andre did manage to get us out on a whirlwind tour of the Cologne nightlife last Friday. We started by visiting a historic Kirsch bar that seemed to grow as you entered through the doors. Well lit, with lots of wood brass and glasses clinking, people of every drinking age imaginable sat in every available space, sipping down the local variety of beer that is usually brewed in house, served in small straight glasses, and chomped down on local fare. The Beer (kirsch) is good, I think, but I'm not much of a beer drinker and further from an expert. I was more intrigued by what appeared to be raw ground beef served on hearty bread with onions being eaten by the table immediately to my left. We had eaten a lot earlier and Christopher, a recovering vegetarian, wasn't much up for it. But, if I get the chance before I leave, I'll get back to everyone with that experience.

From the traditional bar we moved onto a low-key lounge where the energy and age levels settled into a vicinity that we had a bit more in common with. It was a small bar, warm low lights, low seats with a lounge feel encouraged by the music. We had another Kirsch, I was forced to order in memorized two words of German and moved on once more. For a city its size (1.8 Mil), this city really has a lot to offer. I guess that shouldn't be too much of a surprise as much as I rave about Austin with it's mere 650K habitants and it's offerings. Then again, we don't have this monumental feature that cuts through the skyline like a knife like the Dome here. Regardless, this city has a lot going on of which, well, of which I've seen about 1%.

After the lounge, we went to a rock club called "Underground". It was basically Emo's mixed with a bit of Elisium except people were drinking Kirsch and dancing to music that had no business being danced to. I mean, New Wave and all that has it's dancing place, but these guys in one room were dj'ing like Marilyn Manson style stuff to a dance floor. Even the locals seemed unsure of how to react to it and I'm sure a lot of them are there every weekend. Waiting out in the courtyard though, with the sound in the background like a loud show I'm taking a break from, I felt like I was back in Austin. I felt like I was definitely going to run into someone I knew. Had I not been so tired from getting up early, it very likely could have happened, who knows. But, as the case was, I was tired so we went home a bit early and crawled into bed around 2.

And we wanted to get home early, because the following day we were going to Amsterdam. And Amsterdam is where we went, but I'll have to write that tomorrow because I'm too tired at the moment.

last days in Prague

I'm going to keep this short, first of all, pictures HERE

I'll miss Prague, I feel like my goodbyes to the city were not appropriate and that I was just beginning to get comfortable with a new friend when life pulled me away. I want to say thanks to Annie and Randy who took us out to a caravan they rent on the outskirts of the city and had a bonfire and BBQ for us all. It was a great night and I hope to stay in contact with all these kids who were so great.

The following day, I said my impromptu goodbyes to the city. Went to the post office, wandered around near the Castle/Cathedral again, finally went inside but again showed up too late for the long tour and missed a lot of it, a mistake that I will not make when I eventually return not alone and fully funded. Ahh, what you miss having such a short life to live.

The course is over, thank you Oxford Tefl, you guys did a great job even though I only got a B. Good luck David in Syria (yes Syria), Good luck Sean and Mali in your brief foray into Hong Kong, may the school be there waiting open arms with lots of students upon your return.

incident on the subway

Anyway, I was on the subway tonight and had a moment that made me want to get back a different country soon. I was carrying around my backpack, a big 5L bottle of water and 2 bags of groceries on the subway when I looked over and saw this man bleeding from his the top of his shaved head, his nose and his knuckles. I felt a bit scared at first and then a bit of pity. I had no idea what had happened, there was no sign of a fight when I got on the subway and it looked like 2 women were trying to talk to him, likely trying help as he held a tissue to his head and the packet in with his other bleeding hand. He was wobbling a bit as he stood. I wasn't sure if he was drunk or just acting strangely because of being beaten. The whole situation made me feel sick. There are a lot of homeless people here, something I haven't really dealt with in a while. Perhaps a little in Thailand but they were a different type, there, the whole country is poor but I don't remember there being many beggars or drunks stumbling around at all hours of the day.

But, as I was looking down, attempting to distract myself with my Japanese flash-cards, trying not to look over to where the man was beginning to talk loudly as he bled, I just thought of how I didn't see so much of this in Japan or Korea. And I did feel sorry for him. He wasn't old, probably around 30 give or take a year. He wasn't dressed conspicuously or anything, just sort of normal with a flannel shirt and jacket, but his hair looked like it had been shaved a couple week ago, meaning it was just starting to grow out, which made me suspicious. I've seen a few skinheads here and heard of some attacks against people and some racism directed against some immigrants, evidently the Vietnamese are sometimes targets. Some are ok I know, but the full on racists, the kind that look to Hitler as a hero, well, I needless to say have no sympathy for. Well, this man stumbled off with the help of one of the women a couple stops before mine and I was selfishly thankful. But then, as he was walking past the subway car, he walks up to the window where this older man is sitting with a fedora hat, and yells something that I can only imagine as "something Jew". I don't know any Czech, but as in any language, some words always sound a bit alike. I looked at the man with the hat, an unusual hat for Prague but not uncommon for some Jewish people. He was sitting with his back to where the bleeding man was the entire time and probably never even saw him. Then he is yelled at, for no reason, than the fact that he may be Jewish.

This problem is not unique to Prague, it's a problem in many parts of Europe, the US, the world really. Poverty exists here because it used to be a Communist country and it's still going through the growing pains of capitalism (positive connotation not intended). There is a small class of very rich and lots of people who live normal simple lives. All the nice restaurants, cafes, stores and such that have popped up over the last 20 years are more for the tourists, not the local Czech people who really can't afford it. I mean, things have improved overall since the Communist period, but sometimes you can feel the resentment towards the foreigners who they view as having so much money. I don't know, it was a difficult situation that has been stuck in my head most of the evening. I know that there will be many things about Japan that will frustrate me, other things that I simply don't like, but at least when I was there I didn't see the poverty and I don't think it exists like it does in so many "modern" countries, like my own. That is one thing I have a lot of respect for.

in the mood for love

Yes, I'm in school, the fact that I'm in Prague is extremely secondary. It's unfortunate but it's the truth. The course has been keeping me that busy and I have to watch the money on any extracurricular activities, I just don't have any. So if anyone wants to donate, or more precisely loan, any money to the international "buy Corbett a sandwich fund" please email directly.

Just to prove how small a world this is, I have to mention what happened last weekend. Not only did I approach a stranger on a hunch and end up setting up free informal Japanese lessons twice a week but the following day, at the same cafe I walk in and stare in shock at a lovely young girl I met back in Austin last year. Yes Nicole, you get your props. She, in the course of a few hours, took me to more places and told me more about this city than I had learned my entire week here. Although we've yet to be able to hang out again, I'm very much looking forward to it. Also, for any of my buddies back home in the education world, she's looking for a private/charter school type of gig for when she returns. Helluva intelligent girl, anyone should feel lucky to have the opportunity to work with her. So, if anyone is need of some English teachers, please let me know so I can put you in contact with her. I don't want to forget about Rachel either who is on holiday from Austin as well. Thanks for giving me probably my most enjoyable night out in the city.

Honestly guys, I'm not feeling terribly inspired at the moment. I've got a huge "Learner Analysis" that is haunting my bag that I've only just begun on. I mean, it's not due for another week, so it's not the end of the world but I've got to pile through the main part this weekend. Perhaps tonight it will give me an excuse to stay in and not spend any money.

The highlight of my week has to be my second watching of "In the Mood for Love". For all of you who have never seen it, do yourself a favor, curl up with no one and fall into this film. It's like peeking in to these beautiful people's lives. The shots of Maggie Cheung in these vibrant, perfectly fitted dresses with splashes of color matching the tea cup she's holding which in turn matches the plant set outside the window. I could watch the scenes of the two main characters walking up down the stairs to the noodle shop for hours, the music is so amazing, it's just like a small poem captured on the screen. I can only imagine though, that in some ways the visuals and the love of the time period in Hong Kong can only be a bit of fairy tale in the way Amelie was for Paris. And damn 2046 for not coming out at the right time or language during my travels!

So yes, not that exciting of an entry. Last bit of news. I fly into Cologne Germany on April 5th. I leave from Berlin to Copenhagen on April 15th and return to Berlin on the 22nd. I'll be booking my ticket to Madrid from Berlin very soon. Anyone who knows people in those places who I should meet or hang out with let me know. I'm already planning on seeing Isaac in Berlin, Celeste in CHP and Christopher in Cologne (he might be coming along with me to Denmark as well). I'll post some more picts as soon as I have them, the camera has been taking a long rest in my bag of late.

much love,

-c.

alive from Prague

First picts to prague and a link to my last Greece picts HERE

Well guys, I'm her step 29434 on my travels. I can't say I have much to report on Prague. Yes, there are cobblestone streets that must be hell on a bicycle, grey skies, gruff people, lots of work with the course, unmarked subway systems, streets that seem oddly desolate other than the surprising amount of cigarette bummers, an absence of children, snow, prices that aren't friendly against the US dollar, snow, lots of work, a radiator in my flat that doubles as a clothes drier, lots of balding people in my life, work, wine, etc, etc.

So really, I got into Prague after an absurd flight from Athens that took me first to London and dropped me in this winter hell at 9 pm that night and left to my own devices to find my way to the student house, which I did dragging my 30 Kilo bag along ice and snow covered sidewalks to get to leaving two nice parallel tracks behind my frigid footsteps. I was welcomed by Stefan, the house manager who showed me to my room, all the other kiddies were out to the welcoming dinner which I missed. After unpacking my clothes, (ohh my god! I have a closet!) I was about to go wander around when the others walked in. It's a nice but small mix. 3 Brits, 4 Americans (including Nandos the 1/2 Greek, 1/2 American, all New Yorker) and one Aussie named Jill who is the only other with some teaching experience. I have to say though I feel pretty lucky, the other three who I share the house with (it's hard to describe) are really cool and I have nothing but positive things to say about them. After a bit of chit-chat, Tom, one of the brits, agreed to accompany me to a pub where I could wind down for the first time all day at midnight. Not much of a place and the two drunk Czech men whose beard were tickling their lap as they were falling asleep with enormous glasses of half-filled beers were threatened to be tipped over by dormant hands, gave us a bit of the creeps. We stayed for one beer.

The next day, it was off to the races. School starts at 11 every day and we all had no idea really what to expect. As my battery is running extremely low, I'll keep it brief, but there is a lot of work and we started teaching our first classes to adult Czech students on Weds. I was little better prepared by simply having taught before as my nerves weren't wound up to explode like most others. It's slightly a throw you to the fire atmosphere, but nothing like it was in Korea. I've gotten more feedback on my teaching in this one week than I did my entire week back home. There is no doubt in my mind that I'm going to walk away from this experience in a much better teacher than I went in. The instructors, all from the UK, are great, dryly humorous honest yet supportive. There is al of work, a lot of analysis and a lot of writing of reports but I think I see the benefit of it all.

But to be real with everyone, my heart isn't in Europe at the moment, it's stuck in Japan. Keiko is there and I'm anxious to get back. The food I used to love, I still do, but I find myself craving lighter fare. The cafes are great but I'll willingly trade them off for a shoebox sized apartment with an address I can't read. I'm distracting myself with the course and working hard but honestly I'm just ticking off days until May when I hope I'll be able to get back to Japan. I've still got plans to make it to Germany, Denmark and Spain, but those will be brief at best and ways to say hellos and goodbyes. I feel like part of me is missing and when I'm walking to the streets alone it's not even with a feeling of solace, but one of absence. I'm repeating the conversations I spoke so highly of only recently. I want to be in one place again, to have a home, to have one place to look forward to, to have one person. All this awaits me as soon as the apartment is signed away and my ticket bought. I'll make it home to the US without a doubt, but for now my craving is for miso soup and that tiny person who fits so nicely named Keiko.

Ok, enough of my sentimental babbling, I'll write a real update about this town as soon as I figure out a damn thing beyond how to make it from Subway to school and back.

Greece Update

First off, all praise to the new Trail of Dead album, which with a mix of The Kills, old The Refused, The Make-Up and Snow Patrol are getting me through this town where uber-hip electronic dominates. It's not that it's bad at all, it's just that as I have always found, throw me in a situation where one things takes precedent, I desire the opposite. Maybe that is part of my past romantic problems...

ANYWAY!!! Here I am. I've done a lot of the touristy things and pictures should be up as soon as I can get my computer connected. I've taken to drinking brandy when I can afford it and this town is ultimately treating me rather well. Everyone smokes everywhere and men only shave when they feel like it. On Monday I climbed up the Acropolis and was able to to see the pinnacle of traveling monuments, the Parthenon. Unfortunately, it is under heavy restoration right now and not only can you not walk inside it all, you are essentially kept several meters away and about a fifth of the structure has been disassembled. Evidently this has been going on for a quite a few years and I shouldn't feel bad thinking that this was a post-olympics phenomenon.

Acropolis essentially means, top, or most important place (not really top, the locations were selected largely for their proximity to water sources) and is not a term limited to Athens at all. All ancient Grecian cities had their acropolis, albeit this, during it's time, stood well above them all in magnificence. But, here the Acropolis consists of three main structures and then several other smaller ones mostly at the bottom of the mountain. On the top is the Temple of Athena and of course, the Parthenon. The third structure is a temple and doubles as a gate into the fortress itself, but I don't recall the name. Largely due to the state of disrepair of the Parthenon, the Temple to Athena proved more impressive. Actually, partly due to the nasty weather and it not being high tide for tourists, there were very few people. When I wandered around the temple there was only me and a couple of middle-aged American women whom I was careful not to speak around fearing inquiry. But, it is one of the more complete structures even though as I found out, all 6 of the Athena figures acting as columns are in fact replicas while 5 of the originals sit inside a British museum and the 6th in a Greek. So be it though, still very impressive just to witness a structure that is (mostly) over 2000 years old and still standing for the most part hinting at its past glory.

Below sits the Theater of Dionysis and the Theater of **** along with several other spots still under excavation and reconstruction. One of the interesting aspects to everything is the fact that you are essentially in the middle of an active archeological site which is one of the most important in Western history. The two theaters below were also magnificent. The ** has been almost completely restored but was blocked off from public access (big surprise). But, I was told that during the summer that it is actually and active venue for performances. The theater of Dionysis is still being excavated and reconstructed but you are free to wander around the seating area which is really powerful. I was fortunate enough to sit down when a group of British high school tourists were checking it out with a couple of their teachers. One of them gave a couple monologues behind the stage area (the stage itself is the only part that is off limits) bus surely enough, all that stuff they taught us in grade school was true. The acoustics are fabulous and even though you're sitting quite far off, and without that benefit of a backing wall, you can hear quite well when things are spoken in a theater volume. When you're traveling and sightseeing alone, occasionally it is beneficial to mooch off the explanation and excitement of others. I do have to mention that, with recent experience, I dodged the group of Korean tourists for fear of being run down or having an umbrella lodged in my skull at the first drop of imminent rain. Will Korean obliviousness be my most lasting memory of that country?

Tuesday was shit. Aside from the dreary weather, the museum I tried to go to was closed as most are in Athens on Tuesday (this happens to me a lot). I wandered around a district that was way too expensive for my taste (or my pocketbook) finally landing in a mediocre internet cafe and then venturing back home to read. Yesterday I rectified that, going to the National Cemetery with Katerina in the morning where she laid flowers down on her families tomb. That may sound like a bit of a strange destination for a tourist but it was really powerful. The monuments, and there is really no better way to describe the tombs for the more important people buried there, are extremely impressive. I'm not entirely sure of the Greek Orthodox burial practices and Katerina wasn't able to explain it to me as much as I would have liked, but these are graves for multiple people and there is no way they could fit coffins in there the way we do in America. Cremation is against the religion so that is out of the question but we did venture into a building holding the remains of many people who for some reason have not been laid to rest. The remains were in metal boxes about the size of three shoe boxes. So, to me, it seems that there might be partial cremation, I'm still unsure about it all.

After the rather morose introduction to the day, I ventured to my Tuesday destination and successfully made it into the most established private historical museum in Athens, The Bernaki. I was determined to get my 6 Euros out of the experience after having been delayed a day and the weather being such utter shit outside. In doing so, I spent about 1 and a half hours on the first floor alone. The whole museum is ordered chronologically which meant that I started off with the Neolithic period and by then end up of it ended up with the introduction of Christianity into Greece in the first few centuries of the first Millennium. Having forgot, I admit, so much of what I learned in grade school, it was quite an educational and impressive experience. This is part of the reason I moved at a snails pace trying to soak in so many of the things that have parted my mind from lack of use. A lot of the exhibition, understandably focused on ceramics, sculpture and jewelry, the most easily preserved of man's original creations. There were only two small problems that arose, one begetting the other. First, as is most of the historic venues here, the floors are of marble. Nice to look at, hell on the feet, even in tennis shoes. I found myself squatting (and thus straining my neck as the sign-age was usually at chest level) at every opportunity by the time I reached the end of the first floor. The museum was laid out quite well and extremely dense, it took me almost 2 hours to complete the first floor as at least two tour groups lapped me in my first hour. By the time I made it, back aching to the second floor, I knew I needed a break. I skimmed the second floor with the intention of returning after I had a coffee and cigarette at the cafe above. Unfortunately after that weather shattered moment (it is quite a worthwhile cafe on the third floor with an amazing terrace) I was just about to pick up where I left off when a security guard (what the hell is there formal name anyway?) pointed to his watch and said "closing". Sure enough, closed on Tuesdays, close early at 5 on Wednesdays.

This reminded me of the fiasco of the previous day. I forgot to mention that before admitting defeat and returning home, I ventured to the National Library, thinking it would be a really nice site and furthermore I could knock out the work I needed to do for my class in a rather classic setting. Well, I walked into the main reading room with no one really batting an eye. I saw no sign prohibiting bags or cameras. I took a couple shots (no flash, and I was discreet) before the Patron Saint of Libraries walked up to me and said something in Greek. Noticing my befuddlement, he immediately switched to English and said, "Can I help you." Getting in reply to this a further look of bewilderment as to how I should answer (I had been sitting all of 30 seconds) he says, "come with me" as to which I said, "hell no, back off old man. I didn't do anything". Actually, I didn't say that, I just bowed my head and followed like the dog that got caught peeing on mom's favorite couch. Then, in minimalist English they explained that I could "look into the room" from the hall, but I couldn't go in. This I did, to save face and play the game, but I had actually got one good shot of the reading room before I was apprehended. Unfortunately, it doesn't really do justice to the ancient text that you could see crumbling before your eyes behind immense ladders and faded wooden desks. A worthwhile momentary adventure. When in doubt play stupid and you'll get further than you might if you played it straight.

Ok, I'll stop here but I have more to tell. I have to meet Katerina in a bit and we're going to see (I think) the Vatican of the Greek Orthodox Church. Today marks the last night of eating meat before Easter (is that Lent? Things are different in this version...) and evidently this is the half-way point and big night for costuming for Carnival. Should be interesting if I can keep the kids out past bedtime.

it's all greek to me

Well I'm here, tired from walking god knows how much under overcast skies that seem to be following me around of late. When I think back to my brief time in Paris, when I did the Eiffel tower I remember that not only was it overcast, but like the buildings of the Acropolis today, were also under construction.

Even though I was listening to Japanese music as I rode the train into town today, I was easily reminded of the qualities in Europe that I like. Everyone smoke, people are less inhibited about expressing themselves and argue with a gentle banter. After leaving Asia, the land of being reserved unless drunk, this place is like a blessing in many ways. But let me not get too far ahead of myself.

I arrived Saturday morning on a plane from Thailand, which must have contained like half of a junior class from some Greek university. Every time I woke from my disjointed sleep there were people walking up and down the isles, hovering over chairs in an unusually festive manner for a 10-hour flight. But it went off without any major problems; immigration asked no questions about my lack of a return flight and moments later Katerina was greeting me with a hug to drive me home.

Her parents live in a beautiful country house about 30 minutes outside the city but still accessible by bus and train (light rail really). Actually, it's probably less than a country house than it was 60 years ago when it was built due to some development but is still amazing. Mediterranean in style, it sits on a rather large piece of land by American standards and there were no less than three "village" gardeners pruning and cutting away at the varied growth in preparation for the spring. One very much caught my attention. A man probably in his 60's or at least that is how life had treated his face, with this large white, billowy even, mustache hiding the greater proportion of his mouth. If he is there tomorrow (it's Monday as I write this) I'll try to get a good picture. The lines of his face, deep-set eyes tell a story all their own and one that I at present don't have the words to describe. The house itself is two stories with wide marble steps that lead up to the second floor and main entrance. I have to admit my confusion at first coming into the house and trying to find my way around. Everything is of immaculate construction; it has the beauty that is mimicked in America but with a lasting quality rarely found anymore. She is not rich, but probably upper-middle class by Greek standards and the house has been owned by her mother's family for some time from what I've gathered. Anyway, it is an amazing place to come to and be able to call home for this week.

Her family is equally amazing. Katerina is working both a little in Greece and in Patras, the city she attended university, working in speech pathology working with both children and adults with various speech impediments. This keeps her rather busy and she had to work a bit the first day I arrived. It has been so long since I've been in a family environment having met none of my friends families in Korea that I was a little nervous at first. But, her mother quickly set me at ease having a similar nature as Katerina and made me feel comfortable quite quickly. She also happens to be an English teacher and I've obviously had no problems communicating. We all sat and talked while eating a homemade spinach pie and pieces of an enormous block of feta cheese that almost brought me to tears along with the glass of wine I got to drink in the afternoon. Katerina went off to work for a couple hours while I continued to talk with her mother, a great start to this new country. Her father seems like an equally amazing person but isn't very confident speaking in English so thus far I've not been able to talk with him as much as I would like. He looks and acts far younger than his 72 years and I was very surprised to learn that was his age. Katerina says that since his retirement as a mechanical engineer he's spent a lot of time in the kitchen and a bit meeting his friends for talk and Ouzo. I have to say I'm extremely thankful for all of them taking me into their home and treating me so well. It's helped make this a great couple of days.

Saturday and Sunday ultimately were rather lazy days. Saturday night I went out and met Katerina's friend Dimitris who was really a great guy and I hope to meet him again. We started out with coffee at one of the ubiquitous fashionable European coffee houses. We ventured through I don't know how many different subjects but spent a healthy amount of time on the EU, what it meant to Greece, Europe, the US and the implications of it's recent expansion, Turkey and god knows what else. I have to say that I was just happy to be talking about these kind of things again. I've said before that I thought a part of my head was slowly being turned being stranded in Korea and Saturday night acted as a much needed wake up call until exhaustion and time difference got the better of me and I fell asleep in the car ride home. Sunday ultimately was a slower version of Saturday with Katerina present the entire day. I overslept causing me to sleep to much and have a difficult time waking up the entire day. In the late afternoon, after a lunch of stuffed cabbage, stuffed zucchini, olives from the family estate and more wine, we went off to meet more friends at another coffee house. Actually, there is little alternative as most places shut down on Sunday entirely. I had another moment that reminded me I was in Europe, looking around at this New York-esque lounge/bar/coffee house and realizing that I was probably the worst dressed in the place (or perhaps the one in the least amount of black), welcome to Europe, I wish I had money to go shopping. Speaking of which, I want to say thanks one more time to a couple of friends who have helped me out on that issue, and no I'm not buying clothes and I didn't hit up the red-light districts in Bangkok. I've decided to use all the money on drugs instead. j/j unless you count nicotine and caffeine.

It's Monday and I've just finished my first day of sightseeing but before getting it all down I'm going to take a rest and let it all sink in. As soon as I can get my computer connected I'll try to post up some pictures. Unfortunately, this is one of the least connected countries in the Western world so it might prove to be a little while, most people here still have dial up at the house. For the moment, I'll watch the passersby of this little cafe and continue to listen to Bright Eyes singing "glory" with the sound of Backgammon dice penetrating my headphones in the background.