it's almost over

Oh my god. I have only 1 teaching day left and I forgot to mark a huge X through the last couple of days on my calendar. This is a mixture of both how busy I've been and how the unexpected anxiety of leaving. Today I've received cards written from 10 year olds in extremely broken but guided English, a possible taker for my lovely cat Zoe, and a great dinner with my favorite student Belle, courtesy of her family, which gave me the rare opportunity to share a bottle of wine and European travel experiences with a 15 year old.

The last aspect was the best. Not only for what a beautiful young women this person is, but also for the realization of how old I've become (no negative connotations here). I think of my beloved Trishelle and Sherita who discovered me lingering, where was it? Somewhere, maybe at Brazils or at a bar in downtown Houston that I would slink into to enjoy the music of DJ Sun and the occasional jazz line up. I was 16, wait, I remember everything now. It was at a Tears for Fears concert (no jokes please, Songs From the Big Chair still rocks), I was 16 and my best friend Joel drove us down to the show. Hell, it was probably even a school night, what rebels! Not hardly, at least me anyway. We waited after the show to try and meet Roland, who was the only original member in the band at the time, and these two girls were there doing the same thing. Roland gave a quick wave and jumped into the tour bus, Olivia Adams, the backup singer was kind enough to talk to us for a minute and give us an autograph. Regardless, waiting in line at that time gave us an introduction to a couple of older kids who I still keep in contact with (at least one now, the other is married). They both were like older sisters to me. We became friends, turned each other onto different music (more them to me than the other way around). And for a brief moment tonight I felt myself like I might be able to be that for someone else. I remember the first (and only time during those years) that I tried a real drink. I was recently in love with the image of a Martini. The atmosphere of a couple jazz musicians and Solstice added to the moment and allowed me to hide my loathing of alcohol in this place where no one new me from my home. Trish felt the same so we ordered a drink to share. You can imagine the shock of a non-drinkers first sip of a Gin Martini, immediate disgust and the image of a barely touched drink left to die on a bar counter as she felt the same way. Who would have guessed that it would have turned into one of my favorite drinks that I crave here but can't find. Alas, time flies.

The point is, that although there are many students who deem me the "mean" teacher (or more commonly the monkey/gorilla) because I give a lot of work and demand a lot, that somewhere, somehow, I managed to touch a couple of them and that they will continue to remember me. God knows that I've not always been the best teacher in this first year, but I've learned a lot and with every passing week have tried to be more affective and funny in my approach. I'm going to miss a lot of them. I feel like I'm running out on them right when I might be able to help them the most. I mean, this is not regular school and sure as hell not university where teachers can change your life forever, but I think there are times when I've helped some kids over the one of the largest hurdles in language, the inhibition of speaking. I've definitely not been 100% successful, but enough to feel like I've accomplished something. Tonight, having one of my favorite students, the one I used to refer to as my 15 year-old friday night date (when we used to have a "free-talking" class with only 2 students for 3 hours), take me out to dinner and talking to her like a friend, or at least an older brother, made me realize that leaving is going to have more of an effect on me than I realized.

I'll part now, I feel like I'm being sentimental. The world awaits.

And I'm going to miss Minnie much more than I expected....

Music: Bright Eyes, Digital Ash in a Digital Urn